Worried I’m not good enough

[redfox14]

My daughter is my absolute world and I love her more than anything. At the moment I feel like I’m letting her down constantly and not a good enough mum. She’s 8 months old, I’ve just gone back to work part time and she hasn’t been coping very well - not napping and not eating/drinking much on the days when she’s looked after. Her sleep is really bad at the minute too. I’m up and down constantly through the night and I’m just so exhausted, nothing seems to settle her except for her dad. She seems much happier with him than me. When he comes home from work her face lights up, if he leaves the room she crawls after him, she holds her arms out for him to lift her up. I feel like she gets fed up of being with me all the time.

I absolutely adore her with all my heart and I feel like I’m trying so hard and giving everything I’ve got and just constantly falling short. I’ve spoken to my husband and my parents about it and I feel like they’re not taking it seriously. I told them I feel like a shit mum and that I just worry constantly that I’m not good enough and I feel like they just brush it off. If I mention anything about her sleep, or a routine, I get told conflicting advice from everyone. My mum told me I need to toughen up and stop worrying. My husband said I’m overthinking too much.
For about two weeks I’ve just been crying every day and feeling so shit and down about myself. I just want to be a good mum and I’m worried that I’m not.

Of course you're good enough. I can tell you're an excellent mum just by the fact that you're worried about this!

Shes comfortable with you, you're her safe space, she doesn't need to lift her arms to you because she knows you'll always be there for her. She doesn't need to crawl after you because she knows you'll always come back. She's not coping just now when you're gone because of the change, but she will get used to it soon!

If you feel this way, it could be the lack of sleep (she is only 8 months!), or if you think there's a chance it could be something a bit more, reach out to your GP.

Maybe have a word with your mum/DP and let them know you need more support and not to be dismissed.

My twins are 8m. It's hard work, but you're doing an excellent job.

Hey @redfox14 you've described the emotions we've all gone through with our little ones in those days. We've all had days where our child won't stop crying in spite of everything we do. Nights where they seem to be one thing going wrong after another. But we don't talk about those in our groups, we'll talk about that smile or the things they did.

You're amazing because you care and you love. A baby and child won't always show you that acknowledgement and it feels like your efforts are wasted, but they need it. It's unconditional love from us, and we won't always get it back, but when you do you know it's all worth it. You got this!

Also my eldest daughter would flip flop between favourite parent as a baby with seemingly no rhyme or reason. You're there for her and that's what matters, don't be put off by anything else

@Betty407 thank you so much for your lovely words, that made me cry. I really do appreciate it. I hope you’re right. Also what a super mum you are with twins!
@Amy71452 thank you so much, I suppose you’re right and they can’t really let us know that they appreciate it so I’ve just got to hope I’m doing enough and the right thing. All I want is for my baby to know how loved she is and that I’d do anything for her.