My children's behaviour and location cause constant arguments with my husband.

[flingaling77]

My daughter 8 and son 5 are not the easiest. My son used to be very aggressive and is still very demanding and bossy. He was unbearable during lockdown. My daughter has started having lots of strops recently. When their behaviour is challenging, my husband and I start arguing. We live near my mum and the opposite side of the country from his family. We get some help but not loads. He resents where we live and the fact my mum doesn't help as much as his parents do. How can we stop arguing? We can't have a weekend away unfortunately. Any advice gratefully received!

My daughter's is a precursor of puberty which a lot of my friend's children are experiencing.
Eight is very young for this so I think pp is more likely to be right. She's having trouble with the dynamics and atmosphere at home. She's also old enough to have a sit down chat with you where you explain how you understand things aren't good at home but you are planning on changing that. Reassurance and understanding go a long way.

Make a plan with DH on how you will tackle the aggression in ds. Agree on tag teaming so neither of you give in through exhaustion, even if you swap out every ten minutes. Consistency is key and I think if you aim your patience, parenting, energy towards your son then your DDs behaviour will change as will your marriage. Seek outside help for the best way to approach this since it's more than toddler tantrums.

You can get through this