Help me avoid soft play this winter

[Porridgeislife]

We have an 18mo and I’m trying to think of ways to keep her entertained at weekends and my day off during the week.

I really, really hate soft play and she’s not particularly keen either. When there’s no classes/groups on, and the weather isn’t great, what do you do with your toddlers to entertain them? So far this winter we’ve been driving to different playgrounds with a coffee as she loves bimbling about in a puddlesuit.

It may sound a bit daft but I grew up somewhere warm and sunny so I don’t really know what small children do for fun when it’s wet and cold.

Garden centres! As well as flowers, they often have aquariums and cafes. And many of them have whole christmas displays with lights/decorations etc.

Farm parks. Or buy a bike seat, she'll love it.

We moved just before DC1 was born so weekends were tough at this age as there were no groups, DH was studying at weekends and we had no family nearby but all of the friends I had made had family locally and spent a lot of time at weekends with them.
One Monday, at a toddler group I was chatting to someone I didn't really know but who seemed nice enough who said she was really pleased to get out as she'd had quite a lonely weekend as her selfish prick of a husband had been cycling all weekend. This was a bit of a lightbulb moment for me. I began to work out which of all of the people I'd met since we moved were single mums, had partners who worked weekends, had partners who had time consuming hobbies, had partners who just weren't that interested and, importantly, had no family near by and began to ask if they wanted to meet up at weekends. If DH was studying at home, I'd suggest a park or something which could be the same wet & cold environment but at least I had someone to chat to. If he was on a study day then I'd invite them over and the toddlers could play whilst we chatted. It made such a difference. A decade or so later, I still regularly see a couple of the mums I identified this way. Other friendships died out after a few years, generally as the DC started school and life got busier. Others, I saw once and didn't suggest it again!

I think I’ve only taken my kids a handful - and a single handful at that - of times when they’ve not been invited to a party.

But it’s no coincidence that I bought my first grown up pair of wellies when my eldest was 18 months.

I’m always genuinely interested by posts suggesting staying in all day. I’ve only had boys and they’d both have been climbing the walls at that age. I know there are active girl toddlers who also need to get out, but anecdotally it seems like it’s girls who are more likely to be happy to be at home all day. Do you mind my asking if you had a girl/girls?

@Autumnleavesarefallingdownagain my eldest is a girl - we could have stayed in for the morning at that age but would have paid for it by the afternoon!

We had to be out by 9.30ish or mood would plummet.

As pp said, library, museum, swimming, stay and plays, parks and woods with loads of clothes and waterproofs on. Or make pals with other mums and babies and take turns to play at each other's houses.

Another idea - DC love to play driving - just let them sit in drivers seat and hold steering wheel, maybe turn electrics on so they can do hazards and windscreen wipers. Depends on where you live as to whether you can do it safely!

If you have a garden, a small tent can be fun, even in cold rainy times.

I live near an IKEA, that was a godsend as you could go round it for ages and have cheap lunch in cafe (they used to have a children's play bit in cafe but that went in pandemic)

Same as you OP, 16 month old and I also grew up in a warm sunny country! I also have a DS who is 5, so I’ve been through a few toddler winters already. I work 4 days, so have toddler with me one day a week as well as all school holidays.

The playground in a puddle suit with a coffee is my go-to. We’ll normally do that 2-3 times per week. When the weather is awful it’s very unpleasant I know! I sometimes manage to put in my AirPods and listen to a podcast while she toddles about, which makes it slightly more pleasant.

Other options are:

• A local mum/baby group. There is one near me which has a meet up on a Thursday morning. It’s a huge, childproof room full of toys, and the kids just toddle about while the mums drink a coffee. I don’t love the mums at this group, but it gets us out of the house and it’s good when it’s cold.
• My church has a morning ladies Bible study with free childcare. Lots of churches have mums mornings or meet-ups which involve access to the kids facilities,where the kids can play with all the toys.
• There are 2 cafes near me with a decent toddler play area. But I save those for once a week because it involves spending money at the cafe.
• Our library has a nice kids area where I can easily kill an hour. They never have anything on during the week, so I just read her some board books and she plays on the carpet.
• I can’t afford this, but some of my friends have a gym membership at a fancy gym that does 90-mins free childcare. They take advantage of that every day! Perhaps there is something like this near you?
• I also arrange play dates at friends houses who have kids similar ages. Playing with other toys is always a fun way to spend an afternoon. Just make sure the kids are the same age and the house is childproofed, or it will be far more stressful than just staying home!

Another trick is that I keep all our toys in plastic boxes in the basement. During school holidays when I’m with the kids all day, I will bring out a new box each week. They are toys that they haven’t played with in ages and it feels novel for them. During particularly bad weather, a ‘new’ box of toys comes out!

I’ve also found that a bundled up pram walk at around 5pm just before DH gets home helps the nighttime routine to go better. I’ll push her up to our local express supermarket (about 10 min walk) to get some bread or milk, and that makes the witching hour a lot better.

We go to play cafes quite a lot. Places with an array of toys or role play section like a home corner or a reading nook, dolls house train set etc, and a lovely cafe. So I can get a nice drink and snack or lunch whilst she plays.
it’s a nice in between soft play and a boring cafe/being at home.

@Autumnleavesarefallingdownagain - mine is an active boy. He’s on the go all day. But he’s ok indoors. We have an indoors wooden climbing frame, we set up cushions to play floor is lava, or build dens over kitchen table with torches. Hide and seek. Although he’s super active he’s also happy baking, making pizza dough, having long bath with lots of boats and bubbles.

And a day indoors isn’t usually 100% indoors as it rarely rains 12hrs straight, we might go in garden to sweep leaves, or he plays in sandpit and mud kitchen or take balance bike out an hour.

Me too, DS's limit was about 3 hours at this age all day ? shudder. Lost my baby weight really quickly though.

If you go to the library for rhyme time or similar could I just suggest you actually borrow some books while you’re there - our librarian mentioned it’s helpful for them to justify their existence if you do that. Many parents don’t bother. We need libraries in our communities.

Swimming, library, invite a friend round for a play date.

Role play centres
Museum
Out for lunch
Parks
Walks
Swimming
Local toddler groups
Feed ducks

We avoided soft play for a full 10 years and now theyre too old for it 😁

Beach, forests, parks (so many parks!), B&Q electrical switch aisle, Museums with a cafe, shopping (we used to go to charity shops that sell books and buy a book each time for 20p!)

Or play dens at home, play hide n seek, evening discos at home with glow sticks, indoor trampoline (small one for aerobics) and baths. Baths are SO fun for a little one.

Miss Rachel. Pretty sure I owe her big bucks in child support 😂

Agree with all of this! With my youngest all the soft plays were closed for ages due to the pandemic anyway.

Ktiting myself and DC in decent warm/wet weather gear was definitely worth a little bit of investment (though lots on eBay especially for DC) to make bring outdoors in all weathers more pleasant, plus a travel mug of coffee of course.

A warm bubbly bath after being out in the rain is great (and kills some more time)

I'm not a fan of soft plan either and managed to completely avoid them until my dc was about 3. However, I found a lovely small and well hidden soft play in a garden centre near me. The only times it gets busy is in the school holidays. On school days it is so quiet that I am surprised they open. My dc loved having the space and freedom to run around this on a rainy day. I still refuse to take them to the bigger crazy soft play now because I can't stand it.

Other than those we stuck with outside activities for short chunks of time then retreat back home.

I hated busy noisy soft plays. And so did my toddler. I managed to find a couple of
church run cafes that had toy corners, and we would hang out there instead. Cup of tea, slice of cake, chat with the elderly regulars and a play with plies of duplo and old toys from the 80s. Fun for hours!

Do you have an museums near you? Ours have specific toddler sessions for free or a couple of quid which are great. National trust places with playgrounds. Have a look at local theatres. We have an Everyman theatre that has music sessions for toddlers. Garden centres and home shops are great this time of year for Christmas displays. Pets at home to see the animals before going for a coffee. Any local parks with centres that might have events on?

Mix. One of my boys has ADHD. We're also chronically skint. Going out is sometimes tricky. We have a relatively large garden though and since they were >6 they've been playing out (and in) with friends on the street and in the gardens.

Fair enough, we do go out to the beach, the woods, the shops and supermarket, on NT/EH days out, to local council museums, local castles etc etc etc but def not every day, or even every week. I don't see what's so wrong with staying home and pottering.