Single mum, feel like I’ve failed

[Singlemum20222]

I’m a single mum to a 19 month old who’s dad is not on the scene anymore and I’m really struggling with my self esteem over all this.
I got pregnant at 19 and gave birth at 20 but for some reason the first year I didn’t struggle much with these feelings I think because I was in survival mode and had a baby. Now he’s older though I feel like he’s gonna start to notice his daddy isn’t around. All his friends have mum + dad, I don’t know a single person in my situation.

I feel so lonely most of the time. I’ve just gone back to uni but I feel guilty for even having conversations with people outside class when I know this is my only time to study. So I just sit alone until I pick my son up. Then once he’s in bed I’m alone again and the evenings are the worst. I’m scared to date again (not like I have the time anyway🤣) and don’t see how I ever will have time to until my son is a 15/16. By that point I’ll be 35 so potentially could meet someone then. It just feels scary knowing I will be single for so long. I know how lucky am I to be his mama but I just wish I could have a break. It’s also heartbreaking to think of worst case scenarios like what if he gets sick or has an accident and is in hospital, and then to know that his dad won’t even be there for him I feel so guilty and sad.
how do I get over these feelings? I’ve been getting closer to God which is helping but is there any other advice out there?

You're certainly not the only single mum in the world! It's sad there is still a stigma about being the sole provider for a child, usually on the women, when it's usually the father who walks away without regular money or visitation.

You need to have faith in yourself that you will do all in your power for your DC, which can also mean being a single parent. I know plenty of couples with kids who are damaging them in multitudes of ways by staying together. It can be a lot easier alone, although it often doesn't feel that way. Keep posting on here for support and you should feel proud that you're at uni at the same time - it's not an easy option but hopefully your DC will spur you on to be the best you can be for both of you. Good luck.