Hi all,
I guess I'm looking for some solidarity and maybe some tips.
My DS is my first DC, we've also had another baby 4 months ago.
DS was an easy baby in the sense that he slept through and he didn't have any reflux/colic etc but since about the age of 6 months I found him increasingly harder to be around, he never felt satisfied by anything as a baby, he'd make a sort of groaning noise a lot, and just generally be quite hard work.
Fast forward to the toddlers years and I can say he has been REALLY hard work. We've had small phases of him being a bit easier but generally he's been difficult to parent.
Potty training was a nightmare and he never really had a 'got it' moment. He still has accidents semi-regularly and won't go for a poo anywhere but home and won't go to the toilet on his own at home, I have to take him despite him going alone at nursery and us asking him to go alone when we're busy. He just refuses and whines.
He won't play on his own, at all, he moans and whines until you play with him. When you do the rules change every 2 minutes and you say something like "let's put that block on those blocks to make X" and he'll say "noooo we'll do this", and he'll say that to anything, making it really difficult to play with him in any meaningful way.
Brushing teeth, getting changed, eating food at the table are really difficult times of the day and he generally plays up big time.
Most of that has been a struggle since he was nearly 2, but now he's nearly 4 I'm really struggling with the back chat, and how he tries to wind us up.
Yesterday he was tickling my feet to get a rise out of me, and he does it in such a way that makes me think he's a massive wind up.
He'll say something like let's give the cat cereal, and I'll say "oh no I don't think he'll like that" and he'll say "noooo PRETEND to give him cereal" and in my head I'm thinking even if I did pretend to give the cat cereal you'd tell me I'm doing it wrong.
I found his character so difficult, sometimes I think he's lacking what other children have which is an ability to have fun and be vulnerable. DS seems to be quite serious and wants to be in control and understand the logistics of everything before he relaxes.
Anyway. I understand people will question if he's ND, but I don't think he is, I think he's just a bit serious. But I am not enjoying parenting him and I would love nothing more than to have a good relationship with him. I am envious of friends who have a good relationship with their son and it makes me so upset that we don't really have that.
Also I've been following the thread on 'what age is hardest to parent' since last night and notice everyone says teen years, I feel absolute dread over how hard he'll be then if I'm finding his character so difficult now 😥
Can anyone relate?