Leaving BF 16mo overnight

[yogpot]

I’ve got a new job, fully remote, and as part of it they’d like me to go to London for one night to do an induction in person with the founders and the SLT. I live in the SW so a night away is pretty unavoidable if I do this!

I’m very nervous about leaving my DC, who is 16mo, breastfed and still wakes up at least twice a night and goes back to sleep with milk. However, getting this job off to a good start is also important and it’s unlikely they’ll want me to travel often so it’s a good gesture. The company have been very accommodating and understanding - they’ve given me the job title of my choice, the part time hours of my choice and have stressed that I don’t have to come, so I think it’s important I go! It’s an amazing opportunity.

DC would be at home, with Daddy, in his usual routine with all his usual comforts - except me. Daddy can do bedtime despite his lack of boobs so I’m hoping this would be fine?

I guess I’m looking for reassurance really, I feel like a terrible mother for even considering this. DH says I should absolutely go.

I'd feel exactly the same as you absolutely leaving baby but also wanting to make a good impression.

Could you go to London as a family? You can still do the feeding then and do what you need to do in London.

It might be a good start to night weaning?

Otherwise I'd go as a family.

One night shouldn't impact on your supply or bonding.
It sounds like it would be a benefit for the whole family.
It was around that time that I started doing a day a way. I've only done 3 full overnights and a couple of late evenings and she's 3. We had first overnights away at 10 months when I went into hospital at that point she only breastfeed, barely ate and only slept for me. Part of the admission was to stop breastfeeding and change medication so figuring out a route was key anyway. Even though he had none of the methods for getting her to sleep they managed!

Def go

Your child may surprise you and settle happily for daddy with no boob

My friends kids do this. Won't allow mum not to bf but if dad puts to bed if mum out then No hassle

When she wanted to stop bf. Toddler around same-age as yours - then daddy did any settling /feeds via a beakers and night feeds stopped

It's a Great opportunity for you

To have flexible hours /part time etx

Many mums would love this chance

Unfortunately, we don’t have the finances to do this comfortably as a family right now. My husband would have to take the two days off work unpaid (self-employed), so adding in his train ticket and two days of work we would be looking at £500 which is a bit of a bitter pill to swallow.

Having discussed further we’re going to bite the bullet and try it, I’ll be home in time for bedtime the next day so the impact should be minimal and if it’s a nightmare I just won’t try again until he’s older.

I just feel like a terrible, terrible mother.

I hope it won’t! I’m aiming not to wean in the sense I’m going to allow him to self wean in his own time. There is unlikely to be regular travel, and as you say they do figure out their own ways! DC goes to sleep no problem at nursery where he’s currently full time, and DH can do bedtime no issue as can our babysitter when we have a night out. He has adapted, so hopefully he’ll be ok with this.

And there is a huge benefit for our family, the chance to be this part time whilst still furthering my career and bringing in decent money is a big long term win.

You’re right, and I feel very privileged to be in the position I am in career-wise.

Hopefully it’ll all work out and I just need to shake this intense guilt!

I had to do one or two overnights from 11 months with breastfed baby, baby was fine with Dad and a bottle of expressed milk.
As others said if I tried anything other than breastfeeding it was disaster, totally different story for everyone else lol. Apparently they figure out around 5-7 months that you're the boob parent so they understand that Daddy can't produce
Them lol