What life skills should an 11, 8 and 6 year old have?

[Canihaveanotherbiscuit]

Based on a conversation DH and I had tonight, what life skills do you think an 11, 8 and 6 year old should have? I'm beginning to wonder if mine have enough for their ages, particularly the 11 year old now she is in secondary school, though I don't think she's that different to me at a similar age. DH clearly had to fend for himself more at that age, so interested to hear the opinions of others.

Well, there is a HUGE difference between a 6 yr old and an 11 yr old, but I'd say an awareness of road sense is a good start.

An ability and willingness to ask for help when needed.

I'd say being able to swim is really important, but do realise not every child will have been able to access pools for lessons and practice.

A sense of "what to do if......" (say, you weren't there when they came out of school, or more dramatic things like you collapsed at home).

Knowing their address / how to dial 999

(Again, at various levels) but knowing how to get along with people - how to start a conversation, accepting that you won't always 'be picked' (for the team or a part in a play or to go to a birthday party) and that is okay.

Manners.

The eleven year old should be able to:

Use public transport to complete short journeys.
Take themselves to meet a local friend/go to the shop/complete a simple task.
Cook a basic meal.
Be alone at home for a few hours and get themselves snack etc. as needed
Organise themselves for school (maybe with a bit of help if they've just gone up to secondary school).
Take care of their own hygiene
Help out with chores at home.

The eight year old should be able to:

Complete short journeys by themselves (from home to corner shop and back again, for example, or go and post a letter or call for a friend who lives on the same road).
Get themselves a snack. Make toast/cereal/a sandwich.
Cook with an adults help.
Mostly able to take care of their own hygiene (maybe needs help with washing long hair/might need reminding about teeth brushing etc).
Help out with basic chores at home.

The six year old should be able to:

Walk along without needing to hold your hand, should understand that you stop at a road/look where you're going/don't walk into people etc. Should understand the basic process of getting a bus/train.

Get themselves a drink and a very simple snack. Maybe starting towards getting themselves an easy breakfast.

Help an adult to cook by chopping veg, measuring, mixing etc.

Help get their stuff organised for the morning, may need reminding/prompting.

Should be able to dress/undress themselves. Get themselves in/out of bath or shower. Wash themselves and brush their teeth (under some supervision). Brush hair (but may need help with long hair).

Help out with very basic chores at home.

Completely agree with the above list for an eleven year old, that's pretty much exactly where mine is (although hygiene still takes so prompting 🙄) I'd add be able to use things like the washer, tumble dryer and dishwasher too.

I have an 11 and 8 year old. Comparing with NuffSaidSam’s lists I would say my 11 year old is about half way between the 8 yr old list and the 11 year old list. My 8 year old can do most of the 8 year old list but is a long way off being safe to cross roads alone or cook with hot pans.

Thanks for the replies. That's a great list Nuff. It sounds like our 11 year olds and 8 year olds are fairly similar minipie. Definitely need to get them more involved with things like the washing machine - I'm just in a routine and on autopilot sometimes that I forget to get them involved. It would definitely make my life easier to train them up, as well as giving them those skills for independence later.

Any more I can add to my growing list?!

Not attaching a particular age to these but

Tie shoelaces
Do own ponytail/plait
Empty/load dishwasher
Know a parent’s phone number
Pet care
Internet safety and healthy scepticism about stuff you read online
Sense of time and distance
Make a cup of tea

My 6yo makes his bed (most) mornings. I put cereals and milk on the table and he can choose which one(s) to have and pours his own milk. If he wants to have toast, he will make it himself (in a toaster, not under the grill, so fairly easy and unlikely to burn the house down). But...He cannot remember to tie the bread up again to stop the rest of the loaf getting stale, or remember to put the lid back on the jam/peanut butter or the butter back in the fridge.

He can sort the washing into lights/darks, and can work the washing machine under my supervision of telling him which settings to use etc. But... He never remembers to put dirty clothes in the clothes basket and tends to take clothes off at random points in the day so I'll find his socks in the living room, his trousers in the bathroom, his shirt in his bedroom...

He can get his bag ready for school (water bottle, reading book, jumper). But... He cannot take care of his water bottle and has cracked about 6 in the last 2 years just by being careless, is always losing his jumper at school too.

He has a good awareness of road safety. But... He has no idea about safety at home and will constantly edge around the furniture playing the floor is lava.

Basically, I think there is no "right age" for things, you just have to work at things constantly and some of it goes in quickly and some of it takes more time to master.... At least I hope he will master it!