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Parenting

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What should I do

11 replies

George1505 · 08/11/2023 20:21

Today I picked up my daughter from school, she’s year 1, and I’m not happy at all with how she was treated by her teacher. For a bit of background info, she has been put on the sen register about a month into starting reception last year and is awaiting an appointment later this month to assess her for adhd. She is definitely on the more severe side of the spectrum and I won’t deny she can be a challenge some of the time although she is a very sweet and loving little girl who is just struggling as she awaits the help she needs.

The school however are in no way trained or equipped to deal with her and I understand she will need one to one and the school need a diagnosis to access funding for this but even as a basic understanding it is seriously lacking.

Her teacher this year is fairly young and I’m not sure how long she has been teaching, I hadn’t had many problems with her before hand other than she sometimes upsets my daughter as she doesn’t understand her but other than that she had been trying her best to implement structure and routine that may help my child.

Today is where I’ve really seen a problem with the teacher. On arrival to my daughters class room, the teacher has come over to me and explained that my daughter has at lunch play time decided to fully lie down in a puddle and roll around in it, this means she is absolutely soaking wet.

The teacher has then told me that she’s used it as a learning experience and left my 5 year old child with complex needs in the same wet clothes for 3 hours until the end of the day when I’ve picked her up as a reminder to not roll in puddles again.

My daughter has repeatedly told the teacher she was cold and uncomfortable which even the teacher told me herself when she explained it was a teachable moment as to stop my daughter doing it again. She was fully aware of the discomfort of my child.

I then had to take my child home in weather that was around 9 degrees at 3pm while she’s still very wet so I dread to think how wet she had been 3 hours prior while air drying off at school from being left in the wet clothes. My daughters coat had been left outside, still dripping wet so I took off my own coat to give to her as her lips were blue, she was still wet and looks so so sad while telling me she was freezing. It brought me to tears to see my daughter in that much distress and when I rang my brother to explain, I was a sobbing mess.

The clothes she was wearing when she was given back to me were a pinafore, polo top and cycle shorts and all off it was wet enough to ring out all the way down to her underwear.

Regardless of how complex a child is or even their age, no child should be left like this at school for 3 hours and then sent home like it in the cold. I had no other option than just to get her home as soon as possible as I wasn’t made aware to bring spare clothes and she wasn’t offered any spares from school.

If I was to have done this to my child I can guarantee the school would report me for neglect so why can they get away with it. It is basic common decency to help someone out of wet clothes and offer dry ones and honestly how sadistic must someone be to watch a child suffer like that for 3 hours and do nothing and then to be as brazen as that and come to me and tell me if was to teach my child a lesson and not see something no wrong with it.

No matter my child or not, no child should have to be treated like that In a place that they should be safe and it makes me worry what else could happen if the teacher sees no problem in this.

I have been told by people to take it to the police as it’s child abuse but I’m not sure if that’s too far and it’s just being said because of how angry people are once hearing what’s happened?

I have rung the headteacher who has agreed it should never have happened but I don’t feel like that’s enough

What should I do now, I genuinely worry now that my child and others will be mistreated but at the same time I don’t want to be over reacting because of the mama bear instinct I have to burn everyone to the ground who hurts my child! Any advice would be appreciated.

OP posts:
ChristmasIsCome · 08/11/2023 20:27

What does the headteacher propose in response to your complaint? If you are not satisfied with their response you can complain directly to the governors.
With regard to your dcs special needs, it is not true that you need a diagnosis to get support. My dd had a care plan with funding for a 1:1 TA for many years before she was diagnosed. Has a care plan been applied for because if school haven’t done this you should.

Neodymium · 08/11/2023 20:31

The school may not have had spare clothes? If that was me (as the teacher) I would have sent the child to the office and I imagine they would have called you to come collect her.

if she is year 1, then maybe you should just pack spare clothes in her bag? I don’t think you need to be ‘told’ to pack spare clothes. I always sent a change of undies and pants with my kids until about grade 2 (in case they had an accident.)

George1505 · 08/11/2023 20:33

Thank you for your reply!
The head teacher told me that to teacher will be spoken to and they will work to make sure it doesn’t happen again. I’ll also add that there was the teacher and the teaching assistant in the classroom all afternoon and not one had seen this as a problem.
I am fairly new to all that goes into getting the help at school and all advice I am getting is just coming through the school, they have only told me I need to push for a diagnosis so she can get her help she needs but I will definitely look into this and get her the help she needs sooner! Thank you for the advice!

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Swimeveryday · 08/11/2023 20:34

Ask the teacher if her professional body recommends leaving a child in freezing cold wet clothes for 3 hours as a learning opportunity?

Not acceptable. She should have rang you to come and pick your child up.

George1505 · 08/11/2023 20:38

I have personally seen all the spare clothes the school have, so much so that they do numerous sales of second hand uniform to stop it from piling up. I was not called otherwise I would have brought her spare clothes straight away. The first I heard was once I picked her up. Her younger sister is also at the same school and has a full bag of spare clothes with her at all times (they are the same size). So had it been your child, you would have been fine with them being left for 3 hours in wet clothes and absolutely nothing done to help?

OP posts:
George1505 · 08/11/2023 20:40

That’s exactly how I feel! They have had no problem ringing me for less in the past! Thank you for not making me feel like I’m going mad! @Swimeveryday

OP posts:
Swimeveryday · 08/11/2023 20:50

I personally would want an apology from the teacher and to check she has reflected on her actions and understands how unacceptable they were. If she is unwilling to do this I would go to her professional body to complain.

candletime · 08/11/2023 20:56

You need to put this in writing. Send an email to the Head Teacher - header 'complaint' and repeat in it what has happened and ask how they intend to deal with this. Copy in the safeguarding lead(s) (if not Headteacher, details should be on the website) and maybe copy in a governor if you have their details. It is not at all acceptable.
Secondly you do not need a diagnosis for support. Don't wait for a diagnosis if you think your child needs support now. Look into applying for a EHC needs assessment- check out the IPSEA website.

catsnore · 08/11/2023 20:59

Should she have rolled in the puddle like that? No. Should they teacher have told her this? Yes. Should she have been left in sopping wet clothes for three hours? Hell no. That's not right at all. School always has spares to change into even if they aren't the perfect size - or they call you to provide something!

I imagine this is a young teacher who perhaps doesn't have children of her own who may not have understood the distress caused. I'd request a meeting with her to discuss this, ask if there any other incidents you may not be aware of. Talk more widely about your child's needs going forward. Try to both get on the same side. If you can't agree, escalate to head and governors.

NuffSaidSam · 08/11/2023 21:34

I'd look for another school.

That's absolutely ridiculous.

I'd follow up with the headteacher about what exactly is going to be done. I'd also think about contacting Ofsted.

Tonkerbea · 08/11/2023 21:39

You're not overreacting at all. Id ask for my child to move class, I wouldn't be able to trust that teacher again.

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