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Ummm I just saw nursery yank my toddler. What’s the pathway to complaint?

35 replies

sellotape12 · 08/11/2023 19:51

Anyone else been through this?
I went to collect my 21 month old early today and I saw one of the workers snap at him and yank him quite forcefully by the arm. Needless to say he burst into tears. I was very very firm with them and asked to know how on earth this just happened but got ignored and shrugged by the staff who were there at the time. If this is what I saw by accident, what goes on behind closed doors usually!?
Would you speak to the manager first or email OFSTED? I’m furious and upset because they’re simply isn’t another childcare provider in our neighbourhood.

OP posts:
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sellotape12 · 08/11/2023 19:52

There*

OP posts:
NuffSaidSam · 08/11/2023 19:53

I would do both simultaneously.

Speak to the manager and call Ofsted tomorrow.

Start looking for alternative childcare.

Superscientist · 08/11/2023 20:00

Depends on timings. If I could get a meeting with the manager first thing tomorrow morning I would meet first and contact Ofsted once I finish meeting with the manager as I would want to be able to say about how the meeting went.
However I would be wanting to contact Ofsted by early afternoon on the following day from the incident I wanted to report so if couldn't arrange a meeting for that timeframe I would contact Ofsted without having had that meeting

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TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 08/11/2023 20:02

They ignored you?

I’d have refused to move until they answered.

SiennaMillar · 08/11/2023 20:03

Yank her with the same force and see if she still wants to shrug it off.

saraclara · 08/11/2023 20:12

OFSTED will not be interested if you haven't first gone through the nursery's complaints procedure.

sellotape12 · 08/11/2023 20:16

Ah good intel @saraclara and he’s good idea @Superscientist

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Danikm151 · 08/11/2023 20:18

You have to go through the complaints procedure before contacting Ofsted.

I removed my son from his nursery after 2 major accidents where staff didn’t see what happened. (In ratio but really couldn’t manage/be bothered) and hearing how one member of staff spoke to the children. If she spoke to them like that with parents around I couldn’t imagine how she would speak to them when they weren’t around.

I complained to the manager and bluntly said that if she had spoken to me like that I would have slapped her. I had an apology from her but said it’s not me they should apologise to,it’s the children.
A month later they had an inspection and were graded inadequate.

My complaint triggered a massive leap in training, new procedures and better involvement from management. I hear things are better now.

Jellycats4life · 08/11/2023 20:20

I expect there will be lots of replies playing devil’s advocate and suggesting you didn’t see what you saw, and if you did, it was justified BUT I would be very disturbed.

It worries me when nurseries collude to hide the ill-treatment of toddlers who can’t speak up for themselves.

mommavee · 08/11/2023 20:29

Hi OP. I’m not sure about complaints procedures but for immediate safeguarding concerns I would definitely report to ofsted as soon as possible- you have witnessed physical abuse and that needs reporting IMMEDIATELY. If that was a parent what would they be doing? They’d be reporting to children’s services!! What if she’s left a mark etc? Definitely get everything you witnessed documented and report. Don’t take your child back there.

also do they have CCTV? A nursery I used to work in used to have CCTV in every room, so this would be very useful in regards to evidence of ofsted do investigate.

mommavee · 08/11/2023 20:32

Also as a qualified childcare practitioner- I know first hand that ofsted will NOT fob you off for cases as serious as this. If this is what happens infront of you who knows what’s happening behind closed doors. If things like this are happening in a nursery and staff are absolutely not bothered there is 100% other issues ofsted will find too upon inspection. Phone ofsted first thing tomorrow.

sellotape12 · 08/11/2023 20:32

Actually, I just went to look look in on him in his cot and he has a bruise. We didn’t hear about this at pick-up and there’s been no request to sign an accident book. we also don’t know who his key worker is there anymore, due to high staff turnover.

This is all since he’s moved from baby to toddler room. My instinct says get him out but that only other nursery nearby has a) a 6 month waitlist and b) in the opposite direction of our commute.

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mommavee · 08/11/2023 20:35

@sellotape12 take a picture immediately and document everything that happened. Report first thing to ofsted tomorrow. I can’t stress enough how serious this incident is and how paramount it is that it’s reported to officials.

sellotape12 · 08/11/2023 20:35

@mommavee okay thank you for your help 🙂 as someone else has said, it sounds like I would first have to go through the nursery’d complaints procedure? But I will probably email Ofsted later in the afternoon anyway. The girl in question is a trainee I think.
I’m trying to think of what outcomes I want from this. I don’t particularly want him to change nursery due to the impracticality (there is no other Nursery with availability anywhere near us) but I do want this person removed. She’s clearly not fit to do her job. And I want to trigger a new training and procedures. Is that unreasonable?

OP posts:
sellotape12 · 08/11/2023 20:35

Argh so many typos because I’m still shaking with anger!

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mommavee · 08/11/2023 20:39

@sellotape12 the best way to identify needs of the nursery is by ofsted going in to investigate. The nursery’s manager may not be fit to lead or deal with these type of situations. Staff should all be given appropriate induction and training on safeguarding etc and the fact this staff member- trainee or not has put her hands on your child is an absolute disgrace and it needs reporting to ofsted. Especially when other staff are just shrugging their shoulders. There should also be whistle blowing procedures if another staff member witnesses abuse from another staff member and by the looks of it none of them seemed phased? Ofsted will be able to assess in depth leadership capabilities, staff training, incidents and accidents, paperwork and documentation- the absolute lot.

mommavee · 08/11/2023 20:41

@sellotape12 i also agree with PP’s that it does need reporting to the manager in writing too as well as reporting to ofsted as ofsted will more than likely ask this.

mommavee · 08/11/2023 20:46

@sellotape12 sorry to bombard with replies but also when you put it in writing to the manager make sure to make them aware of the date, time and where the incident happened, which staff members were in the room etc, what was said and what action was taken at the time. Tell them how unsatisfied you are with the level of concern and lack of intervention regarding other staff members in the room who witnessed and how unreassured you were after raising what you had just witnessed with them.

Primproperpenny · 08/11/2023 20:47

Do not send your child back.

Send a formal complaint to the nursery in writing.

Visit your GP tomorrow so the bruise is logged on medical records.

Contact your LADO about the abusive staff member. They are clearly not safe to be around small children.

Consider reporting to the police - this is child abuse! LADO may well do this.

Report to Ofsted.

mommavee · 08/11/2023 20:49

@Primproperpenny THIS. @sellotape12 this is exactly what needs to be done!!

Wavescrashingonthebeach · 08/11/2023 20:50

Request the cctv immediately &/or mention it in your complaint. My son's nursery is fully covered by cctv.
Hope you and your little one are OK. I would be livid myself. Totally unacceptable and you saw what you saw, don't let them fob you off.

Xil · 08/11/2023 20:52

Think about how you'll word your description of what you saw. 'Yank' is a bit slang/informal to mean the same thing to everyone, be completely factual and even taken seriously.

Lwrenagain · 08/11/2023 20:59

That's made me feel sick with rage, goodness knows how you feel you poor thing! And poor baby!
What a fucking arsehole doing that the nursery nurse was. I worked in a nursery and never saw anything like that thankfully but a staff turn over so large is v problematic and I'd not be wanting to send DC back.
My friend is having nursery woes atm and she lives a 30 min drive from me but I've said I'll meet her half way and mind her toddler for her, do you have any SAHM friends or family that could have DC whilst you arrange another childcare provider?
Is there any child minders locally?
But ask a trusted friend or family member if they can help short term.

Also this is my extremely limited experience on finding a nursery but ones ran by local authorities aren't as fancy with interiors etc as private ones but if you have any near you, even if it's slightly longer commute, try to get DC in. The staff usually are much better.

Excellent offstead advice, don't let this slide or go unchallenged. It's absolutely disgusting.

One of my DC has ASD and attacked staff members at times, actually regularly and not once did he ever return home with even a scratch on him which I'd have fully understood with them having to defend themselves, what your DC has had happen is beyond unacceptable. Your poor sweet DC, I hope you're all okay x

User69611 · 08/11/2023 21:04

That’s horrendous. Are there any childminders in your area?? Try childcare.co.uk

YetMoreNewBeginnings · 08/11/2023 21:04

sellotape12 · 08/11/2023 20:35

@mommavee okay thank you for your help 🙂 as someone else has said, it sounds like I would first have to go through the nursery’d complaints procedure? But I will probably email Ofsted later in the afternoon anyway. The girl in question is a trainee I think.
I’m trying to think of what outcomes I want from this. I don’t particularly want him to change nursery due to the impracticality (there is no other Nursery with availability anywhere near us) but I do want this person removed. She’s clearly not fit to do her job. And I want to trigger a new training and procedures. Is that unreasonable?

If the other staff didn’t jump in right away then she’s likely using force that’s accepted by the staff.

For context nephew was pulled by the arm by a notary staff member about 6/7 years ago. My SIL was already in the building waiting, but the pick ups were all delayed by the staff and manager dealing with the incident. She got a phone call, the manager and deputy dealt with all the handovers while the other staff wrote reports - in separate rooms - about the incident and the staff member was suspended while it was investigated and the cctv was sorted.

That no one would speak to you at pick up and no one intervened says a lot. No way would I be sending my child back there