Breastfeeding- night weaning help

[JuneySunshine]

Hello 👋

I'm feeding my 20 month old day (when not in nursery etc) and night. She's sleeping in her own room and still waking twice a night for 30 minute feeds and if I stop the feed rather than her she doesnt settle and cries.

I've been tired recently with working and I feel like it's wearing me down, the winter arriving, length of feeds and crying even when I have fed her is just adding to it.

Last night after her first feed she didn't settle and my partner got up and settled her at which point she slept through to 7.30.

I always thought she'd drop night feeds naturally but it's not happening and I'm considering slowly night weening. I wondered if I could get my partner to go and settle her when she wakes for her 'first feed' then still do the second one by which point sleep is lighter and she might be hungrier. It would get me that block of sleep at the beginning of the night.

I've read about reducing the length of feeds gradually etc but it just wouldn't work for us as she's so all or nothing.
Has anyone done anything similar?

I feel guilty but so tired after doing 20 months of interrupted nights.

I think sometimes the thought of doing something is worse then actually doing it. So yes maybe just completely drop the first feed, and get husband to do the settling. Hopefully that will work then you can drop the 2nd feed.
When it came to any kind of BF weaning with my DD it was the cold turkey approach which worked for us.
I suppose a possible benefit of gradual feed reduction is avoiding any breast engorgement.
Good luck anyways, wishing you lovely undisturbed sleep soon!

@Sellingbedtime Thank you, yes I think it is the thought of it- I've just got myself into a position of thinking I'm solely reponsible for the nighttimes and feeling very guilty about approaching it in any other way.
Another benefit of dropping down to one was I thought she migth be hungry in the later part of the night and that's also when sleep is lighter so thought it was best to resettle her myself then to avoid the 'second feed' becoming a very early wake up.
Thank you for the encouragement.

Cold turkey here with DS1. DP stayed in his room and soothed him overnight, he was sleeping through (well, until 5am) after about 4 nights. That was at around 16 months.