Nursery for first whilst on mat leave with second

[Janedoelondon]

Hi mumsnet,

Me again.

Hoping for advice.

Will be on mat leave from Feb onwards for my second baby. Question is - how many days to keep toddler in nursery whilst on leave (not doing so isn't an option, he enjoys nursery and we need to maintain his place!).

We are currently thinking 2 days a week in nursery, to provide a nice balance with home life and newborn, and help toddler settle in to his 'new' life (whilst not uprooting him completely from his old). What do you think? Is 2 enough or should we aim for more? He is currently in 4 days per week.

I appreciate we are in a very privileged position to do this, before anyone says so!

Thanks so much.

Mine started nursery 1 day a week in Sept when she was 9 months. She started a second day, 2 weeks before news baby arrived in April.

I wanted 2 days a week with just me and baby, nicer for me and baby, and more fun for toddler at nursery tbh. She loves nursery.

My partner does, however do condensed hours over 4 days, so I'm only alone with both of mine (16 months apart) 2 days a week. Tuesday and Friday. That's a lovely mix for me. Sometimes on the school holidays I put toddler in an extra day (they have some term time only kids, so extra space on holiday), which means I got an extra day with just me & baby when she was little from time to time

We kept DD in nursery 5 days a week for the first 3 months after DS was born, so I could really enjoy the newborn bit without struggling to give them both enough attention. After 3 months, we put her in Tues/Thurs and I had 3 days a week with them both.

I have a 3 yo and a nearly 4 month old. 3 yo is in pre school (8:45-15:15) 3 days per week. We upped it to 4 when baby first arrived before reducing back down to 3 when DC2 was about 3 months old. I’d personally leave the toddler in 4 days per week until you see what kind of birth and baby you get.

We’re keeping nursery days the same for my toddler whilst on mat leave, so she’s doing 3 days.

I kept mine in full time as couldn’t afford to lose the place. At the beginning when you spend so much time feeding the baby or having them asleep on you it’s much easier for them to be in nursery as you would probably end up having them watch lots of tv otherwise.
I have taken them out on lots of odd days, especially when my husband or parents are around.
I do feel guilty though that they are going to nursery when I am home but they have fun.

I think 3 days is a nice balance personally.

I did this too. Worked really well!

We stuck with five as we had to pay anyway. Obviously if something was on I kept her home but it was mostly lockdown so there was never anything on.

It was nice to have downtime with the baby (such as it is) and better for her to be out at nursery doing things than stuck at home with such restricted options.

Every family is different, so just do what works for you. Looking after a baby and a toddler solo is HARD.

Do they do half days? Every morning if every afternoon might create done nice breathing space home. We’re keeping our LB’s hours 2 x full days and 3 x half days) the same initially (I’m due in 3 weeks) and will decide once the baby is here about reducing.

DS was in two full days (8-5.30) before mat leave, we kept to 2 days, but they were shorter (10-5.30) once baby arrived. He didn't like being picked up early.

DC1 did 3 days a week when I had DC2, now I've just had DC3 and DC1 does 4 days and DC2 does 3 days a week. This is a good balance for me but I think a lot depends on how much your DP is around and the personality of DC1.

Totally depends on the type of toddler you have. Mine is go go go and needs a lot of exercise and isn't bothered about tv. He's in nursery 3 days a week and I'm going to increase to 4 days when DC2 arrives. He adores nursery so I think he'll be much happier there than with a tired mum and newborn at home.

I kept everything the same. I was trapped under a feeding baby the vast majority of the day, having to deal with a toddler as well would have been stressful for me and boring for her.

If you want to keep him in 4 days then that’s also ok and no one is going to judge you for that.

Cripes, 3 under 5, what a woman. You have my respect.

I've probably forgotten how it was but how come your child was in nursery during lockdown if you were on May leave?

@Mazuslongtoenail hahaha thanks, DC3 was a bit of a surprise! I'm very lucky that I get good maternity pay so we can afford to keep DC1+2 in nursery. I don't think I would be coping otherwise

Not quite sure if I'm interpreting you correctly, but nurseries only closed here March - June 2020, when I was still pregnant and working. They stayed open throughout winter 2020/21 when most other things were closed.

Mine goes full time which will continue when I'm on mat leave in order to keep his full time space.

I kept my oldest in his normal pattern of 3 days at nursery and was grateful for it, I needed the chance to sleep when baby did, and be trapped under him feeding and napping for a huge amount of each day.
As another option, could you see how you get on when baby arrives and drop a day or two once you’re a month or so in, if you still want to?

As I said, I've probably forgotten how it was, and as I don't have a child in nursery I'm remembering how it was for my primary school child (closed March - end of term, open again Sept but closed frequently for various year groups due to outbreaks, and then shut again early 2021).

I'm glad you were able to maintain the continuity of care for your daughter and you were able to enjoy the newborn time with your youngest.

Thanks guys!!

I have gone for a compromise solution and reduced to 3 days a week whilst me and my husband are on leave (we are doing SPL).

Nursery have guaranteed my toddlers place has been reserved so we can increase back to 4 days when back at work.

I think 3 days will be nice, am feeling much more positive about this than 2 days, as 3 days with a toddler and a baby just feels very hard!!

Just to clarify, husband and me are doing a 'tag team' SPL, so not both off at same time!

DS goes three days a week and I’m now on mat leave with my second and are keeping him in for the three days. It feels like a nice balance between time at home and time at nursery. He’s 2.5.