Parenting 2 vs. 1 - help

[Janedoelondon]

Hi mumsnet,

I am 28 weeks pregnant and have managed to get myself in a bit of a state. Kind posts only please.

I have a 15 month old at home, who is adorable and I love him in every single possible way (and more!). He will be 17/18 months when baby is born.

Second baby is very wanted, though happened sooner than we thought!

However I am getting into a state about other people's comments. Well meaning I am sure but all of the "you're mad"s, "how will you cope?!" "Rather you than me", are really really grinding me down.

I am under no illusion it will be hard, an 18 month old with a newborn, but I am really starting to get low about all of this, when I should be excited!

This is not helped by me taking 5 months off work SPL, as work is a huge part of my identity and I have noticed I am a much better parent to my eldest since I have been back at work 4 days a week. I know other mumsnetters can relate as have posted about the guilt with this previously.

Any words of wisdom/encouragement? I am really starting to feel low when I should be happy!

Who are these people?

How did you cope with your first?

There's almost exactly 2 years between my youngest. This was easier than the 8 years between my eldest and second.

Honestly, ignore the stupid comments.

You'll be fine!

Coped totally fine with first, people commented on just how well!

It is just me and my partner though, we have very little family support.

People are friends by the way!!

”friends”

Can’t imagine my friends being so thoughtless

I think going from 1-2 is always worrying. I'm 37 weeks and DD1 is just gone 3.5 I'm nervous as well as I know how used to our full attention she is even though she can do a lot for herself - feeding, going for wee, putting on shoes etc.

Everything will be fine though I'm sure xx

You will be fine.

I have a 13 month gap between mine.

You are already set up to change nappies and do bottles/baby food etc it's not double the work if you stay organised.

Main problem is sleep. Make sure you get enough sleep with two waking at night it can wear you down fast. I breast bed and had shit partner so did it all alone and the tiredness was horrible. My advice is go to bed early and let your partner do the evening then you do the night and he get up and do early hours of the morning. Sleep all morning every weekend.

Hire a cleaner of ask family to help cleaning if your partner doesn't step up.

Batch cook and freeze.

I actually got a nanny as paying a nanny was the same price as paying for two with nursery/childminder. She kept my house tidy and did kids washing she was a saint!!