How to survive babies first winter at nursery with my job and sanity intact?!

[Liverpoolgirl50]

I have a 16 month old DD who started nursery in April, and we are going into our first winter and it’s already dreadful.

My husband and I are lucky in the sense we both have a non working day, and my in laws look after her one day a week so she only goes to nursery 2 days a week but she without fail has been sick on those 2 days for about a month now.

Hand foot and mouth, chicken pox, stomach bug and now a horrid virus.. we’ve been trying to share the sick cover between us and my work are amazing and flexible but there’s only so much they’re going to allow before it starts to take the piss. Neither of us can really work from home and I’ve pretty much used all my annual leave/TOIL..

How is everyone else doing this? It feels impossible to juggle it all.. how do people do it with more than one child?!

Everyone keeps telling me her immune system will be great next year and I’m praying that’s the truth 😂

Daily multivitamin
wash hands and change clothes as soon as home from nursery
too late now but chicken pox vaccine

Everyone on good multivitamin. Washing hands and hand sanitizer after nursery etc. Good diet (well as good as you can do when they are that age). Good luck!

Are they 2 consecutive days at nursery? If so, can you split the days? Somehow this makes it easier/less impact.

The first winter is definitely the worst by far and we managed to avoid nursery until she was 2.5 and it was still awful.

Totally agree with the above our DD has a vitamin every day, I gel her hands when I pick her up (god knows if that helps) as they get older it is easier for them with a cold etc as they can wipe their nose.

Take vitamins yourself as they often share the germs with you.

It is really hard to stay on top of your work in these situations but I did find the part of the year after Christmas better than September to December x

We're in a similar position although started sept and different bugs to you so far. We're lucky in a way that the nursery days are together so we tend to get sickness over the weekend and Monday which is my non working day. We missed most of nursery last week though. There isn't any great revelation, if you haven't got childcare then at least one of you has to stay at home. Can you do any work from home even if this isn't the preference so you can still get something done on those days during nap times, screen time etc. Or can you do anything out of hours to catch up, or split the days in half so one of you works 7 til 1 or something then the other 1 til 7. Ask for a temporary change in hours so that you're not both supposed to working 9-5 every day. It isn't ideal but means you're not dropping the full day and doing something. In my experience people are aware that this is the norm starting nursery and that after a few months things will drastically improve!

Honestly, last winter was absolutely dreadful for us and when I say 'winter' in effect I meant September until April. DC2 started nursery in the September at 10 months old and was sick at least every other week for that entire period. It was horrendously stressful tbh, he was sick so much more than DC1 was. DC1 was in the preschool and sick much less, but never ever at the same time either, so then we always had her separate lot of absence too. DH could WFH sometimes to a limited degree and his employers were fantastic but he used almost an entire years worth of annual leave on child sickness basically. I had just started a new job and was in probation and my employers were not flexible at all and told me I'd have to take any leave unpaid.

I know it's only November but so far this year is being much better, much less sickness in the kids (although for some reason a lot more for me and DH!).

Nothing to advise other than it’s a choice between job and sanity, can’t be both. We both decided on keep the jobs and went gently bat shit crazy trying to hold it all together with no family within 300 miles to help. All the best!

Me and DP went through the exact same thing with our DD last winter. She caught everything, it was awful. We were lucky that we could work from home, me especially, so that's what I mostly did. She was only in nursery one day a week so it wasn't to bad. But the Christmas break was awful, she was poorly for the whole time. The 2 week break helped and she got better after that. This year her last day at nursery is the 14th December as I can't cope with another Christmas break like last year. Without the option of family help or working from home the only thing I can think of is using a childminder rather than nursery as they'll be mixing with a lot less children, so less likely to be ill.

Solidarity, my DD is 13 months, started nursery in September when I went back to work. It’s been relentless - she’s had a couple of viruses, suspected hand foot and mouth, a permanent runny nose and cough and on top of everything she’s been teething and has cut her first 4 teeth in the last 6 weeks. Because of all this she’s not sleeping well either so me and DH are both exhausted. Hoping for a let up for us all soon!!

Thank you everyone - it’s just so nice to know we aren’t alone. Good luck to you all! X

Oh gosh this thread has filled me with dread. Our baby starts nursey in three weeks...is this what we have to look forward to?

Can anyone recommend some immune vitamin drops suitable for 6 month old and I'll get started on them now

@Prebtaf we used Wellbaby and can be used from 6 months, I just put them in her milk x

It's horrific. I would do the newborn phase 10x over than go through the first year of nursery again. The problem is that people still expect you to function during that time, work deadlines need to be met, travel plans, social events etc. We had to cancel so many things last minute, lost money on bookings or just had to press on with life while being ill, in pain and sleep deprived for months. The worst bit is that you feel you can't truly look forward to anything because it might get cancelled anyway.

Sadly there's no magic button to make it easier. But I'd say try to keep commitments to an absolute minimum. Don't book any expensive holidays during the first year of nursery, especially the winter season. If you do book, get the option with the shortest cancellation notice or some type of cancellation notice. (However sods law is that we've had two events where DD became too ill literally hours before a trip so cancellation insurance was useless anyway).

Keep as many different types of medicine at home as possible to save you a trip to A&E. Some things might be hard to get OTC, so in the unfortunate event of a doctors trip, get as much as you can on prescription. An example would be steroid suppositories or syrup against croup. Having the medicine at home can save you a mad rush to the hospital or even ambulance ride. Low dose asthma spray and inhalers can also help sometimes against chesty colds. Nose spray is a lifesaver as well! Those that clear the nose for 24hrs.

Nursery age illnesses tend to be made worse due to congestion and their inability or unwillingness to blow their nose. The mucus takes so much longer to clear compared to an adult and often leads to ear infections or complications. It also tends to worsen suddenly in the middle of the night when they're lying flat so be prepared for lots of wakings. I ended up sleeping on a mattress on the floor of DD's room just to make the wakings easier.

Keep cold water, tissues, nose spray and extra blankets, bedsheets and pyjamas at hand. Congestion and coughing often leads to vomiting so even if it's not a tummy bug, you will end up dealing with a lot of pukey sheets. Another "secret tip" I found useful was to have a hidden stash of toys. Sometimes DD woke up extremely distressed/congested/in pain and it was impossible to get her to cooperate with anything. Eg. take medicine, inhale steam, drink water etc. So bringing out a midnight toy worked wonders to bribe or distract her. I found that blind boxed plastic tat like LOL Dolls, Rainbowcorns etc worked best because there was so much stuff inside to unwrap and that was good at calming her down.

It's a bloody nightmare and frankly you can take all the multivitamins you want, you're still going to spend a lot of time sick. Minimise work expectations, don't take on anything you don't have to, clarify your working policies so you know exactly what you're entitled to, carry on as you've started with splitting time off equally, and to some extent just lean into it and expect it to be a crap few months. Don't go mad with social plans as you'll end up cancelling a lot of them anyway. And remember in the depths of it, it really does get better.

In the first year of illnesses (though it was during covid so every.single.cough was a send home) I used all annual leave and then 10 days unpaid and my other half used all annual leave and 5 days unpaid.....

The next year was better but very little annual leave used for 'us'.

This year we actually went on holiday!! And so far the illnesses are mild enough that there's been no absences :) but we aren't through it yet and I have a backup of 10 days A/L kept just in case....

Check out both works policies some have special leave either unpaid or paid.
We do the best we can juggling (no family about) but our works are both flexible.

We also only keep them off if they are truly unwell or its on the list for nursery so obviously any d and v, fever or chicken pox. A runny nose/cough then as long as they are fine in themselves they still go.

My little one starts nursery in Feb next year when 8 mo and this thread honestly makes me shiver with dread!

For us, it hasn't been that bad. DD2 started nursery in January at 8 months and she's had a few sickness bugs and chicken pox, but she's certainly not been off every other week or anything close to that. She does seem to have an almost constant cold, but never has a fever or seems miserable with it so she gets sent in.

I think there's an element of luck, because I don't think we do anything that makes a significant difference. I don't even wash her hands when she gets in.
She does have some liquid multivitamins.

Since she did sort of half a winter at nursery last year, I'm hoping this year isn't too bad.

@User8054245 this is amazing advice - thank you so much.

@raindayrain I do think it's luck of the draw. Her first 2 months were pretty bad, then we had a great 4 months and I thought we had escaped the illnesses, and then October hit and everything went out the window. Good luck though - just save your holiday, I learnt the hard way not to use it all up! haha

I’m sorry to say that this didn’t get loads better for us, my two get so many bugs every winter. They were breastfed, play in the mud, take multivitamins and probiotics, eat a fairly decent diet…I’m not sure what else to do. One thing is getting your child into really good hand washing habits, before every meal etc. I never did that - thought a bit of muck builds immune system etc - now it’s a bit of a battle, I’d like that to just be their normal routine.

I’m afraid the main solution is to push through. It’s AWFUL I know. You can do it purely because there is no other solution.
mine started nursery last September at 6 months old. By Christmas he had 5 bouts of D&V, rsv that led to bronchiolitis and our first trip in an ambulance to the hospital. Another overnight stay at hospital for another illness and so many bad colds and coughs I actually gave up counting. Throw in the fact the coughing basically means no sleep and I also caught every virus going I though I was going to collapse. In fact I didn’t go into work once in December he was so ill, I was ill with bacterial sinusitis and my partner had a mental breakdown because of it all.
I was scared I was going to lose my job. Struggling to look after an ill child whilst being ill myself and sleep was almost non existent. It was the only time I ever coslept. Not because we slept well but I could keep shoving the dummy in constantly without having to full get up.
I just wanted to be sedated so I could rest from it all. The times he did sleep, I couldn’t because I was googling all the many different lotions and potions to try and help him feel better. None of them worked.
fast forward to this cold and flu season and it’s completely different. Pretty much has a permanent cold since September but a normal cold and well in himself he’s only missed one day of nursery so far. One fever of 40 degrees from a respiratory virus but literally the next day was back to his usual active self, so it does get better!!
we do use infant sambucol and Optibac probiotics daily which I definitely think help (best things we’ve tried for immune support) but I think really it was time and being hit by all those illnesses the first time round that allowed his immune system to improve.

Thank you for this. I was going to post something on this thread this morning but hadn't got round to it yet. I've been back at work 10 weeks and we're on sickness bug 4 today, no hospital trips yet but temperatures and really nasty colds. It's so brutal! I've been giving optibac daily, when not in the middle of a sickness bug, but not vitamins. I stupidly hadn't realised that the fortified cereal doesn't have all the vitamins in. I have heard of well baby and wondered about those, is there a reason you went for sambucol as I might try these?
I'm so glad to hear that things have improved for you this year, that gives me hope!

We tried multivitamins as well and I would say the wellbaby drops are highly recommended as they also contain iron. The reason I went sambucol is because he just seemed to recover from colds better when on it. It’s an extra immune support liquid. I suspect you can give both but I wasn’t sure and didn’t want to overdose on vitamins so stuck with the Sambucol. I think because they recommend a multivitamin for children anyway, my reasoning was that not all children go to nursery and so if a multivitamin is standard then giving mine something that is an “extra” made specifically as an immune supplement then I’ll go for that. The optibac also has vitamin D and because my boy has cmpa he is on Neocate junior (just one cup at bedtime) which is obviously tailored to have the right vitamins and minerals so again I don’t do a multivitamin because I don’t want to over do it even though it might actually be fine.