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CoSleeping - How and when did you stop?

24 replies

i83 · 07/11/2023 16:31

I have co slept with my now 7 month old baby and I’m wondering whether to carry on or to try to gently get him sleeping on his own and eventually into his own room.

Does anyone who co slept with their baby, have any advice or are willing to share your experience.

I’m obviously fully aware that co sleeping is not advised but it was what we chose to do (following the lullaby trust’s recommendations regarding bedding, not drinking and smoking etc.) and I don’t regret it!

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Badatthis · 07/11/2023 16:35

We co slept with dd until 6 months and then I spent a year waking up every night and sitting in her room trying to get her to settle. It was hell and I don't know why I did it, apart from a vague societal pressure of thinking I had to. Now I think if everyone is sleeping don't change anything. With ds we co slept until 3 and only stopped then because he could be bribed and he was kicking us in the head every night.

Superscientist · 07/11/2023 17:24

We did it until 2 and she is 3 can still be in our bed depending on her needs. My daughter has had health issues and it disrupts her sleep. For me it has been a balance of her needs and my needs. As soon as I feel her needs to be stable I push her to be more independent with sleep. If her needs increase I accept her back in our bed.

I can't tell you when is right for you but pick a time when there's no snotty nose or teething or growth spurts or or or. Pick a time of night where you would like your bed back and then target getting them in their cot for that part of the night. Co-sleeping isn't a binary yes/no in my experience it's what degree of cosleeping works for you moving towards fully independent sleep for the majority of the time

Pastaf0rbreakfast · 07/11/2023 19:07

We started putting DS to bed in his own room at about 15 months (had initially planned on 1yr but had holiday/illness etc so pushed in back, worked better anyway as was more mobile and went straight into a full size single).

If he woke while we were still awake we would resettle in his bedroom but if we had already gone to bed we would bring him into our bed for the remainder of the night. After a month or so of doing this he would come into our room of his own accord when he woke which was ideal as we didn’t have to get up.

Now at just over 2 years old he either sleeps through (most often), wakes and comes into our bedroom, or calls for one of us to cuddle him back to sleep in his own bed. It’s been gradual but it’s nice that he sometimes chooses to stay in his room, equally nice when we get a little snuggle in our bed too.

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RecycleMePlease · 07/11/2023 19:17

I will preface this with the fact that we moved a lot, so co-sleeping was sometimes a necessity..

But, with DS1, we co-slept from about 6 weeks (when I was absolutely losing it from sleep deprivation, so I'm honestly not sure when it started) until about a year, when I moved him to a 'nest' next to the bed, then a toddler bed next to my bed, then (very painfully, involving an hour sat silent next to him holding his hand) a bed in his own room.)

DS2, an entirely different child, basically decided for himself at about 10 months that he was sleeping in with his brother (double bed - they shared for ages, and even now at 13 and 10 will happily share a bed with each other or me - which is very handy for hotels and holidays)

RecycleMePlease · 07/11/2023 19:19

Ah, yes, as PP said - if at any point (even now) either of them woke in the night, they just came into bed with us/me, because they weren't bad about that, and I preferred getting back to sleep to getting up and putting them in their own bed.

Oh, and even though they don't have to, they share a room now, with basically no disharmony.

teaandbiscuitsforme · 07/11/2023 19:54

Loved cosleeping with my two - it made life and breastfeeding so much easier!

With DD we moved her into a single bed about 18/19 months because DS was due when she was 20 months. One of us would lie with her to go to sleep and we gradually reduced that. It worked really well and she never got out of bed because she knew we'd always come to her.

If I did it again though I'd do what we did with DS. At 12 months we put a double mattress on the floor of his room. I would lie and feed to sleep for naps and also at night. I would also go in a feed to sleep with him if he ever woke up. After a few nights he started sleeping through which was amazing and unexpected so wake ups were then rare. If I stayed awake I would escape. The odd time I fell asleep too then we'd sleep there. It was a brilliant transition. Then when he was 18 months we moved and moved him straight into a single bed. He was fine with it. I still fed to sleep but then left him to it.

AvengedQuince · 07/11/2023 19:59

The last time we bed shared was at 11, the first time he started sleeping in his own bed was at 2. So back and forth depending on circumstances though almost always room sharing until 11, he didn't like to sleep on his own

AvengedQuince · 07/11/2023 20:10

Sorry, missed the how. At 2 I put him to bed in a toddler bed in the same room as me and told him it was his bed and he would sleep there then he could cuddle me in the morning. He briefly cried then slept through. I needed to do it as he was still waking to nurse.

vernatheraven · 07/11/2023 20:29

I did with my Dd until she was three. We were just us two.

She gradually went into her own bed then and she just liked it, her own bed. Still came in for a cuddle before we actually got up and still does now, she's 10.

Whatever works for you.

I read somewhere we are the only mammal that doesn't sleep with the young until they are self sufficient or something along those lines.

Thenewnewme · 07/11/2023 20:47

Until just before two but if they needed a cuddle either DH it I would hop into their bed.

CurlsandCurves · 07/11/2023 20:56

Co slept till 7 months with my second. He was on solids, 3 good meals a day but was in a habit of waking every 45 min sleep cycle to feed back to sleep.

We did the baby whisperer pick up put down technique. He slept through within a week.

i83 · 07/11/2023 22:08

Thanks so much for all of your replies so far.
It’s really interesting to hear of different experiences with this and to not be judged for co sleeping!

OP posts:
stargirl1701 · 07/11/2023 22:17

Honestly, I can't remember 😱

Night weaned at 2 years so maybe 4 years old? She had her own bed from 2 but preferred to sleep with us.

climbershell · 07/11/2023 22:17

My first, co slept from 5 weeks until 10 months. Then put single mattress on floor next to our bed. I was up and down like a yoyo, but the occasional hour of duvet wrapped fully around me was bliss. She self weaned at just after 1st birthday and instantly learned to sleep. Down to 1 wake up overnight. 14 months in own room, was sleeping through zero wake ups from just before then.

Current baby is 6 months. Always coslept. However 80% of the time she'll fall asleep, transfer to her next2me and she'll sleep through in there from 7.30/8.30pm until 2.30/3am. With a few dummy reinsertions. However, I then can't get her to settle back in her cot. And I wish so badly she would!! I looove my duvet fully around me. She never feeds to sleep either so it's so different to my first who would comfort suckle all night

addictedtotheflats · 07/11/2023 22:47

We started transitioning DS into his own bed around 13 months after co sleeping with me, it ended up in buying a double bed for his room and now he co sleeps with his Dad, hes 4🤣. He will come to my room around 5am most mornings and go back to sleep for a couple of hours. Works for us

KylieKangaroo · 07/11/2023 22:55

I co slept with both of mine, was too lazy to get up if they woke in the night! Eldest went on her own about 5 and the youngest is still in with me aged 2.

zeddybrek · 07/11/2023 23:00

Co slept on a mattress on the floor until DD was about 5. Loved it, I got good quality sleep early on and it made breast feeding so much easier.

gotomomo · 07/11/2023 23:03

I put them in their own bed, read stories etc from about 15 months but never insisted they stay there. Dd1 stopped coming in around 2.5 (after her sister was born, think she wanted more space!) dd2 was more persistent and coslept until 7

AllBellyandBoobs · 07/11/2023 23:28

My eldest moved out when baby was born, her own choice, and she was 3.5yrs then. Baby moved out of his own accord at 6 years old, and I am really sad that they have both gone to their own beds 😂 I loved sleepy morning cuddles

hby9628 · 08/11/2023 12:51

9yo & she's still in with us! I miss her when she's not there though. It won't last forever.

Mummymummy89 · 08/11/2023 12:55

My dd hated, really hated the cot. Literally never slept more than 7 minutes at a time in there. 7 minutes! So we co slept until we could put her in an open bed, from 18mo, but she still clambered out and climbed into ours. She still does age 3 - has her own room and own bed but climbs out around 4am and runs into our room to climb in. We are ok with this as the lesser of evils.

My only advice is...acceptance.

That's my main advice about most parenting stuff

SwordToFlamethrower · 08/11/2023 13:35

12 month old co sleeps. Has done since birth as I am nursing her and no way I'm getting up and down out of bed multiple times a night. Mama needs her beauty sleep!

She will go in her room when she is too big for her cot (which is currently at the end of her bed)

SwordToFlamethrower · 08/11/2023 13:36

SwordToFlamethrower · 08/11/2023 13:35

12 month old co sleeps. Has done since birth as I am nursing her and no way I'm getting up and down out of bed multiple times a night. Mama needs her beauty sleep!

She will go in her room when she is too big for her cot (which is currently at the end of her bed)

our bed

FrizzledFrazzle · 08/11/2023 13:46

My DS is nearly 1.5yo now and we've mostly phased out co-sleeping. We have a set up in his room with a big double bed that he sleeps on (it's low to the ground like a toddler bed, so safe.

At first, we co-slept in that, from about 8 months. Then I started gradually leaving him there on his own for longer periods. Now he generally sleeps on his own there all night and I go in to resettle him (breastfeed him) when he wakes at night. He comes to find us in our room in the morning too.

I like this set up a lot. There was no huge transition and I can still co sleep with him if I need/want to. He's also sleeping in his own room, rather than also needing to be transitioned out of mine!

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