we're going backwards with the potty training - help

[insywinsyspider]

we're slowly potty training, ds1 in pants, at home he'll use the potty and he was using it fine when out and about, I'd remind him before we left anywhere and when we arrived and he'd be happy to go to the toilet with me and have a try, sometimes successful and sometimes not but he'd always have a little sit - not anymore, the past week he's flatly refused to sit on the potty when we are out and then about 5 mins later wets himself, its so frustrating, after a week of this I'm struggling to keep calm, why was he doing so well and is now getting worse??

Its very typical for children to relapse, often more than once, how old is he? are you sure he was ready or did he just see it as a fun new game that he is now bored with perhaps.

he's young, I deliberably didn't put his age on as I know I'll be told he's too young and I should leave it but he is showing all the signs and will not have a nappy on, his night nappy is a battle and I know he needs that one!
We had an accident free day today so maybe it was a blip.... I've watched him today and think it might be a control thing (I have ds2 whos 12 wks)

Sounds like he wants to decide when to go. Him going when you ask him, is timing, now he is choosing when to go, that is a step forward even if it doesn't feel like it.

babieseverywhere - i have to say I prefer the odd accident than nappies its just so frustrating when you suddenly get so many, any idea how I can encourage him back on track? we were doing so well

ECing is very back and forth. I would just relax and wait and he'll be back on track soon enough.

If you want to try and encourage him, try keeping him naked on the bottom half at home and give him access to a potty that he can use by himself.

we tried the naked bottom half, then just in pants and we're getting back on track - we have a problem if we're out becuase toilets are just so fascinating to him! he wants to constantly wash his hands (I blame the soap dispensers ) he signs for the potty and I find myself doing several trips with no results - not ideal with a 3 month old!

my mum thinks he might just have a problem with the travel potty - he's fine on a proper potty (and luckerly not attached to any particular one) we have a tommee tippee travel potty which means he has to sit on the edge if the plastic bag, does that sound like it could be the problem? I need to find (or invent ) a proper potty that has an air tight lid (like the snack boxes) so I can carry it in buggy and empty it when we find a toilet!

ps I think ECing is great for teaching me about myself too, I think we lost the plot because I had a friends funeral on Tues (he was 34 with two small children 1 and 3 ) I think your comment about relaxing is so right! I'm finding that my childrens moods are quite often a mirror of my own

I am so sorry to hear about your friends passing and at such a young age

Yes, I also find my daughter picks up on my moods. She lifts my face and kisses me when I felt very ill (morning sickness), Children are a lot more sensitive than we give them credit for.

There is a potty with a lid but in reality ECers review it poorly (when I remember the brand name I'll post it)

I'm not sure what you are asking about the travel potty ? Does he never eliminate into the travel potty ?

What about carrying a folding toilet seat insert and popping him straight onto a toilet and therefore no concerns about dealing with the waste plus he can wash his hands several times if need be

I have a folding toilet seat (I think its called tootle-loo) but he won't sit on it for more than a couple of seconds so he's yet to use it properly, my dh held him at the urinles today and he pee'd no problem - but thats not an option for me!

he won't sit on the tommee tippee travel potty (the folding one that uses bags) which i had hoped we'd be able to use when out at the park etc, public toilets can be a bit few and far between, I don't mind having a potty on the buggy and I can tip wee away its just more of an issue if he has a poo! the travel potty as bags that you can seal and get rid of.... he did use it a few weeks ago when I first bought it but has completely decided its now a no go - I was putting him on potty when we left to go somewhere and when we arrived but he's resisting it, if he can see a potty he'll use it when he needs to (break through today as he pulled his pants and trousers down and up himself!) how do you get round this at say a toddler group?

disaster today as my brother too him out for the day - loads of accidents and then my brother put a nappy on him (I think out of desperation) which meant another accident at home because I think he was expecting the nappy by then (he litterally opened his legs and peered between as he wee'd so I think it was more curiosity and confusion) not after advice really just a chat as I'm trying so hard to stay calm about it, he's so nearly there

I wonder if he is developing a new skill or is going down with a bug ? As they are common times for loads of 'misses'

Also when they decide to take over the control for their own toileting, they can over/under estimate the amount of control they have or the time needed to get to the toilet.

Here was me getting frustrated with ECing my DD here
A experienced ECer response to me here

hi can i just ask what ec'ing is?

Hi dylsmum1998

ECing is when parents offer a young baby or toddler the chance of using a potty/toilet so they can be clean/dry at a young age. Some parents back up with nappies and others put their children in real underwear or trainer pants.

I started ECing with my DD at 10 weeks old, she was in trainer pants from 5 months and dry/clean consistantly from 12 months old. Though it is not perfect and we have misses but so much more fun than years of nappy changes. I have not decided when to start with the new baby-to-be, might just see how things go.

hi thank you, have just found a bit about it on the website, its a great idea. i started this with my dd ( not realising it was a 'real thing' lol) when she was 14 months after she kept removing her nappy. was going really well, but then she started with her c/m and was quite poorly for a while so it got stopped. she has just started using the potty again this past week
makes perfect sense to me, why train them to sit in poo, then to later untrain them

I must confess, I think that is the best bit, not having to deal directly with poo, wiping her bottom with a piece of toilet paper is so much nicer than pooey nappies.

I can second the idea of EC, I do prefer changing the odd (although more frequent at the moment!) wet trousers and pants than wiping bums and endless washing (only having one baby in cloth is great)

thanks for the link Babieseverywhere, maybe I need to let him decide more, he certainly is resistant to us putting him on at certain times and he's changed his idea about being held over toilet, since my dh started taking him to the toilet with him when we're out we wants to wee over the toilet (have to hold him with his back to mine and aim for him) he asked for toilet at church today, held it till we got there and wee'd like this no issues
I think the hardest thing is because its not common to EC I have to remind myself not to be embarassed if he has accident, I'm really concious of people giving me funny looks and probably thinking ds should be in nappies still

I found it helpful to remember that nappies don't stop accidents they just hide them from public view. So every non-ECed baby/child you meet will be having many accidents a day, but no one except the child notice.

But I agree I feel very bad when my DD has an accident in public.

I've been taking notes today
me 'lets use the potty' 'come to toilet with me' would you like to try' etc etc
equals (from ds1) 'no, no, no'

or I take him to bathroom with me and put him on no questions equals one wee!

mmmm a development stage??

Good One

If you have to ask a question, make it a choice ? Do you want to use the potty or the toilet ? If she said No I said, we'll use the toilet then...That sometimes works and sometimes doesn't

my ds is 4 he started school in sept and has regressed, to the point that he doesnt like the loo and his fav thing to do is poo in his pants.

i started training at 2 which since having my daughter i know i should have resisted all the pants(sorry) that is said about training.

he is a happy boy who can be quiet. he loves school and runs in blabs out what he has to say an then when the other kids arrive he just likes to watch and not join in with class questions etc.

his teacher keeps saying "he is the oldest" but i tell her if we were all the same who would clean loos be a teacher etc. we are not all the same!

to everyone who knows us hes an old fashioned little boy. (sure hes been here before)

he has been seen by various people who have said constipated but he isnt. i try senna everynight to give him a feeling but he still would rather hide and have it in his pants.

as iam pg with number 3 my calmness is a little thin and aafter 8 dirty pants a day ffs!!!!!

please please help!!!

we have followed all sorts of things but nothing seams to work.

sorry about spelling etc but been hit by a big baby brain stick this time! lol