Parenting 6 year old boy

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I'm finding 6 a tricky age. He seems to be out growing old toys but unsure of what he wants to play with instead. I've tried lots of suggestions but he struggling to entertain himself and just goes on and on for TV which we feel he is watching too much of.

All of sudden He's very physical, not agressive just lots of barging, play fighting hitting. Quite whingey and serious gets stroppy quick but also get upset more.

And boy he goes on and on and in for things and tests our patience and on the 5th time you end up telling him off it almost puts him in overdrive and he cant seem to stop.

I sure there is a hormone change but I'm just unsure how to parent him at the moment finding old ways aren't working and unsure of what to try next. O feel he want my attention more and i try to carve out me and him time but as we all know life if full with a 2 year old worl and house, and then i feel guilty.I feel I just want to hug him all the time, it sounds like I'm moaning but I can see ny little boy is growing up a bit and unsure of what to do with him. He's very sweet, kind and loving but seems to be struggling!

So bit of a ramble!

Any advice welcomed.

No advice but watching with interest as the single mother of a 6yo boy…

Does he have a scooter?

Yep and a bike. We live on busy Road and garden is al grass so hard for him to do on his own.

Have you tried audio books? My 6 year old likes to listen to audible on a speaker or headphones when he’s not allowed tv and will play for hours as long as he has a story going. He likes things like How To Train Your Dragon. Worth a try!

Does he do some clubs/after-school or weekend activities? Things like swimming, some sport, something like Beavers, a drama class.

How's his reading? Once they can read independently you really turn a corner with them being able to entertain themselves. Try puzzles like sodoku, wordsearch, crosswords etc.

Six is a good age for crafts and constructions toys (Lego, Magnatiles, Marble run, circuit builders etc).

I think with behaviour what you might be looking for is a step-up in being firm. He's not a toddler anymore, he's a bit more in control of his behaviour so it maybe time to say 'no' firmly once and then introduce some natural consequences. Of course, balancing this with picking your battles, giving him freedom and responsibility where appropriate and lots of praise.

I have a sometimes very stroppy 6 year old. He's improving gradually as he gets closer to 7!

Does he get out every day, whether it's bike/ scooter/ playground/ walk etc. My DS has a ton of energy, and especially on non-school days I find he needs at least a good couple hours being active. We allow TV first thing in the morning and around dinner time, he knows there's little point in asking outside those times. He builds Lego, plays with HotWheels tracks, monster trucks, SuperThings, Transformers, and increasingly I'll find him with a book as his reading has really improved the last 6 months. He likes comic books like Dogman/ The Bad Guys and also loves Lego and toy catalogues We play simple card games, Pokémon (My First Battle is a good one to get him started) etc. I agree it's an age where some of the old toys fall out of favour and it's good to try new things. My son plays a lot with his siblings too but as you've got a big age gap, maybe more play dates? DS loves nothing more than having 1 or 2 of his mates over for an afternoon.

I found that the moodiness didn’t last. It was bad for about three months and then settled and heralded a leap in physical and mental skills.

I think play fighting is really important. I loathe it, so dp takes charge, but when I’m flying solo I do a bit every day - normally things I find tolerable like pillow fighting or setting him physical acts to do - like obstacle courses and bed bouncing (how many bounces can he do? We’ve into the triple hundreds before he gave up). They are really physical and need outlets and we need to do these things with them or take an interest. Swing ball or those footballs on ropes are good activities for small spaces. Also regularly going to playgrounds and getting them to challenge themselves - can you they beat their speed record? Can they do it backwards? How high can then jump?

Behaviour wise, I’d really recommend drawing up behaviour contracts together. Say you fight over that he won’t brush his teeth, so sit down one day away from bedtime and talk about it, explain why it’s necessary and agree together how it can happen, agree what you’ll both do - mum won’t get angry but ds will brush teeth with being asked twice and will read a comic while he does it. If he refuses then agree together what a suitable sanction is. Put the contract in the bathroom and refer to it.

I try really hard to lean into his strops. I stop what I’m doing, I give him my full attention, I ask him what’s happening for him and how he feels and what he would like to happen. This doesn’t mean he gets his way, but I’m hoping that him feeling ‘heard’ can ease some of the frustration. Sometimes he needs to be left alone to have a strip and get over it, so I also let him skulk off if he needs it. We will continue the conversations later.

I agree with other posters about encouraging independence. What can he start doing himself? Ours makes his own pudding, but also has to put football boots away.

Comics have been a surprising hit over here too. A job lot of old beanos from eBay has amused him for hours and then more he learns to read the more he gets from them.

We use screens as a way to access other activities e.g. doing maths or English apps before unlocking the games. We use games off screen as well e.g. draw a Roblox character, make up music for your new Roblox game etc.

I remember googling something like “6 year olds having terrible behaviour”. Removed all devices, met with super rage. He calmed down and got into colouring. He’d no choice really. His whole personality changed. He had limited TV, thinks back to basics and he was actually enjoying cartoons he’d definitely outgrown.

He is 7 now, introduced a device again but he’s super careful to shut it down when told as he knows he could lose it again.

I was told that at 4-6 there's a testosterone surge leading to why so many boys starting school have that tendency to leap about on chairs, etc. Not every child, of course. And not very helpful except that as others suggested, maybe he needs some physical way to let off energy? I mean, it works for dogs, take them for a good walk to the park and they'll settle down for the afternoon 😁

As for the stress you're going through when he asks 5-6 times and you snap, the number of times is the problem! Unless I misunderstood you there. He needs to know on the second time that he is trying your patience and if there's a third time, then (consequence). And the consequence needs to happen... I get that it's exhausting and much easier to try to be easy-going, but he's testing boundaries and not finding any, and then getting to melt down stage when someone finally says: enough - because he wasn't expecting it. That leads to insecure kids who act out.