Poll to settle my debate

[Gooner101]

Hello All,

I’m a dad of 3 year old twin boys. I’ve started a debate at home and thought I should spread it further to see what others think.

I think being a stay at home mum is the hardest job let alone being a single mum.

My question is which is harder, 1) Working full time OR 2) being a stay at home mum to twins?

Thanks,

There's no one answer, it will depend on the person, the job, the support available, the financial situation and other factors

If it relates to the mother of your children only she can say what she would find more difficult

Thanks,

With everything being equal so the same support at work and home which would you say is harder?

My point was looking after twin babies all week mon-fri 9-5 alone, without much support from family is harder.

I would personally prefer to be at home so find working full time harder

I haven’t had twins, but I’ve had 2 under 2 twice. In order of difficulty, highest first, I’d say:
working full time plus 2 children (or 4 in my case)
SAHM
working full time no children

The thing is when you’re a mum you’re a mum whether working full time, part time or stay at home. It’s very rare that the woman doesn’t do the lions share of childcare and housework etc. Plus it all takes up headspace even whilst working so it’s like two jobs. I found working full time bloody hard work as I still had the kids to juggle around that. Had to finish bang on time to collect from nursery etc. No going to the boozer after work like their dad. Whereas stay at home allows you to focus I guess, if that’s what you want. Some women hate it and find it boring.

Your question doesn't make sense to me- so staying at home with twin babies compared to working full time with no babies?

And no information as to what sort of job?
I mean, being a SAHM to twins is unbelievably difficult but can you compare it to say, being a brain surgeon or someone who works with high needs disabled people for example?

Or do you mean the person who works full time then goes home to twin babies?

I mean, that's hard, coming home to twins and an exhausted partner, but if you've had all day swanning around getting paid well for doing something on a screen you've got the easier ride in my opinion! Harder being the SAHP definitely but only in context.

My point was looking after twin babies all week mon-fri 9-5 alone, without much support from family is harder. A nanny would call this a full time job.

Full time work more difficult ( in my case).
I also hate how it's perceived that twins are harder to look after.
Try a toddler and a newborn - different stage young children is so much more complex.

@Watchthedoormat I don't disagree but do think it's different for everyone. Even different people enjoy different stages of parenting more. I suppose that's why this thread question is impossible to answer!

As a single mum who has to work full time, the thought of being a SAHM sounds like heaven to me.

1 is hardest

I only have one child. Spent first year at home and am now back working full time.

Staying at home is definitely more mentally exhausting. There is no break or clocking out.

Working full time and also a parent is more physically exhausting. Trying to keep house and family all in check while working on minimal sleep.

I would still like to stay at home just because it felt more personally fulfilling.

I went back to work for over a year after having DD1 and then became a sahm and had DD2. No twins. During lockdown with a velcro baby who didn’t sleep for more than 2 hours at a time if I was luckily and homeschooling a 3/4 yrs old it was a fucking isolating and horrific. Generally I would say it’s much easier than my previous job. We don’t get any family help. I guess that made it harder.