Teen jail broken phone

[Poppy5000]

I’m really struggling with my almost 14 year old who pushes every boundary when it comes to tech. Every time he’s give freedom with certain apps/games it always ends with him going well beyond anything we’ve discussed. We’ve spoken about trust and coming to speak to me about having access to apps he wants but he will not follow this. Today I found he’s jailbroken his iphone to bypass my parenting restrictions. Has anyone got any advice? Would you give him free access to everything? Do I take it all way? I’ve tried to find the middle ground and it works really well for my younger son but with my teen any boundary feels like a game he has to win.

What kind of phone does he have? Mine have iPhones but their iCloud email address was set up with their correct date of birth and it means that as part of the family Apple account they are kids and with that they can only add apps that I have pre approved. Not sure what happens though if I was to delete an app and they tried to reinstall it - never had to do this but not sure if it would then get stopped again or actually be allowed to download. If he can jailbreak that then there’s not much else to try.

Our schools uses Chromebooks. We have to buy them through a school scheme and school set them up meaning certain apps and websites are blocked. But it does mean that all their school work apps are accessible there and they don’t need a phone to access. They can access some from a phone but they don’t need to.

when mine were younger and used Amazon fire tablets my kids were always able to guess my passcode to turn their screen time back on. Now I just remove their devices from their room to charge downstairs at bedtime. They don’t have access to the social media apps above their age other than what’s app - the family all use what’s app and with their dad not having an iPhone and me having one if fiend out what’s app was h the best for communication. I check it sporadically. They are very good though if they get unsolicited messages or sent anything dodgy.

Sadly I think supervised access to homework apps on another device might be your only option and then to remove the phone or give basic non smart phone. And speaking to the school about channeling his abilities.

@Somanycats so you’re saying that she just has to give in and let him do what he wants? And that is teaching him
what? That he doesn’t have to bow to rules and restrictions because he can do exactly as he pleases and no one has any control over him. What kind of adult is going to turn out to be? Scary!

If you try an impose restrictions he will find a way round it. Like many teenagers he probably already has a second phone. The only way forward to try and educate him on what your concerns are. And that means talking to him about it, constantly if neessary.

I think I might do the same. He’s fast approaching the age where you need to parent by consent, is he amenable to reaching an agreement/exploring his talents in a positive way?

My Son is the same, took phone away of the night found an old one under his bed. Or he used his sisters . No advice sorry x

Take it away.

For those saying a tech savvy 14 year old will just get another one - how will he pay for it? And for the subscriptions for it?

He is intentionally pushing boundaries. You have to push back on him.