Overwhelmed with toddler and newborn

[Catrainbow]

Hi all, I have a 10 day old and 21 month old and am finding it so overwhelming looking after both.

My elder DD1 is struggling with the new baby and needs a lot of my attention which I would love to give her.

I am BFing my baby who is currently clusterfeeding and can't find the time to play with DD1 properly and feel like I'm failing them both.

I can't afford nursery/other childcare for DD1 while on mat leave and I don't have family or friends who can come help play with her etc. DH tries but baby will only be held by me and toddler also only wants me to play with her.

Just looking for any tips for splitting my time between the two children and also any advice for when it might get a little less pressured?

Aww I had this, remember it well. 22 months between my two. I used to find things for DS1 to do that meant he could sit next to me while I was feeding DS2. But it is very full on. Carrying DS2 in a stretchy wrap really saved me, freed up my hands so I could play with DS1.

It will get better as they get older, I had nursery for DS1 so can’t really tell you when if they’re both at home but hopefully someone else can - for us generally it got a lot better after the first 6 months when DS2 started to get into some kind of routine and was more predictable. They’re now 3 and almost 2 and it’s way better. It is very intense in the beginning though!

If you can get someone to come visit you during the day - your parents or good friends - that really helps even if they don’t hold the baby. Gives you some moral support! Best of luck x

Can you and DH really not stretch to 2 afternoons a week childcare? It would make such a difference to you I'd try and prioritise it

Hey :) I have a similar age gap with my two children, my youngest is now 5 months and it's so exhausting at times isn't it!

I'm not breastfeeding so can't offer advice on
how to juggle in that situation, but just from a 'when will it get easier' perspective I promise it does! I found it actually got a bit simpler around 4 weeks in, when partner had gone back to work and I found my own routines.

My eldest forgave me for bringing in a second baby and I tried to involve them in the care, we found ways to break up our days and get out the house. God sends for me have been toddler dance classes, local stay and plays, trips to the library and to national trust sites where we can all get some fresh air. I know this might seem like such a basic suggestion, so sorry if it seems in anyway patronising!! It's not intended that way :)

You will find your groove and when baby becomes more interactive and awake you will find your Daughter will become more engaged with the idea of a sibling.

Sending lots of support virtually <3

The simple fact is your DH needs to take over with the toddler.

You cannot spread yourself so thin and your the priority for the newborn. Having said that you do need to carve out one to one time with your toddler. I think I made sure to always do bath and bed time with DH had the baby.