12 month Dc just wants mum

[Beachwaves127]

Hello! My 12m dc has a great relationship with her dad (DH). However she’s going through a phase where if she wants a cuddle she just wants mum. To the point earlier DH was cuddling her and she could see me and was screaming. Ott screaming and crying. So I said I’d take Dc and I gave her cuddles and she snuggled into me and calmed right down immediately. To the point of she then smiled cheekily at DH over my shoulder. Perfectly fine once in my arms basically 🤣 She’s worse in the evenings when tired. On one hand I think well she’s tired, she just wants mum security and cuddles and she’s still so small and young. On other hand I think errr she’s a year, she knows what she’s doing and should I be nipping this behaviour in the bud, ie not responding to the cries because she’s perfectly fine with DH and she knows it. She’s just started at nursery and we’ve cut out bF so lots going on so I do feel it’s fair enough that she needs mum’s extra cuddles. I’d love to hear any advice or experience?

Not going to lie but you have nice soft bosoms that are very warm and welcoming to any young DC

I suspect that has a lot to do with it amongst the usual attachment issues to mum.

Babies have grown in you, they want you more than dad. Not a popular opinion on here, but basic biology. And she wasn’t smiling cheekily, she’s one, not possible to be manipulative.

Mine are now away at university and seemingly don’t want me at all - so make the most of it! Seriously though, she doesn’t know how to be manipulative at that age. She just wants Mum which is perfectly natural at this age.

@notahappybunny7 and @Scoobyblue thanks that’s what I wanted to hear! My natural reaction is just to take her and cuddle her anyway

It’s normal she wants you.

HOWEVER, she is now officially a toddler, and in 6 months or she will be old enough to play favourites. What can happen then is that the less favoured parent spends less and less time with the child and it becomes a self perpetuating cycle, which is rubbish for everyone.

One is the sort of age she will be able to begin to expand out, so I’d encourage your DH to take her as much as possible. Make yourself scarce when he does and gradually she will be more and more able to be comforted by him

Thank you :) yes I’ve done the old hiding upstairs in my own house as Dc is perfectly happy with dad until I enter the living room.