Don’t feel as excited for DC2

[mammmaa]

I feel so guilty writing this but I need to. DD due in January was a suprise pregnancy. I did ideally want a bigger age gap but when we found out we knew we were in a fortunate position where it would still be a good time to have another baby

DS is 2 in December and he’s the light of my life and I love him more than anything

i feel guilty that he’s still growing and learning rapidly and I’ll be going through post partum and the newborn stage again

in all fairness I’m dreading the early days again. Everyone just ignoring you because you have a cute tiny baby. While you’re suffering on the inside. Trying to learn with this new little person and last time me and DH got distant and I’m scared it’ll happen again

i would’ve been happier with a 3-5 year age gap and I don’t mean to sound silly as I’ll have a 2 year gap so it’s only a year less

ir just feels so full on and I’m so nervous and lonely and feel so guilty that DS didn’t get me alone for longer

I completely understand what you're feeling OP, I had all these feelings when pregnant with DD2, I had a 2.5 year age gap, I felt I was going to be depriving DD1 of me when she was still a baby herself, plus I had this huge worry I could never love the new baby as much as DD1. Then after DD2 was born I did find the age gap hard - I felt I was doing a terrible job with both as I was split all the time. HOWEVER I can honestly tell you that in reality I shouldn't have worried about any of it and I don't think you should either. Now they are 3 and 6 and I LOVE the close age gap- they are BEST friends, and have played together so happily for ages that it's made parenting so much easier and we've got our lives back! My DD1 has always adored her sister and although it's always going to be an adjustment it's been so positive for her. Her gutsy younger sibling pushes her to do stuff she never would otherwise, and she teaches her little sister all sorts of stuff and even reads her stories, its just the best. Also, I now think DD1 is so much better adjusted for having a sibling and a bit less focus from me. It's made her more independent and made her realise she isn't the centre of the universe (which she was to me before DD2!), but an important and valued equal part of a loving family, which is a much healthier thing. Having never had the 'first born treatment' my DD2 is so independent and self-sufficient and confident. Honestly- it'll all be totally fine. The fact you're so worried about this shows you're a brilliant mum in itself. But try not to worry - instead remind yourself you're giving DC1 the huge gift of a sibling and of being part of an expanded family with even more people to love them in it (and oh my gosh will your little DC love your older one!!!) Good luck x

I have a 2 year gap. I was so worried for my boy but he is such an amazing big brother to his sister. She slotted right in and personally I've found it easier going from 1-2 than first time round. You're more experienced and you just get on with things (like getting out because you have to with a toddler!)

I started making a list when pregnant of all the places that were toddler and baby friendly (like small soft plays he could do by himself while I tended to baby, or toddler groups etc). So I could always find stuff to do which helped get through those first few months.

I couldn't imagine how I could ever love another baby as much as DC1 and was really worried when pregnant that the new baby wouldn't have the same relationship. Believe me, your heart expands to have space and I now have three DCs and my heart has never been so full 💗