What makes the biggest difference to a child's happiness

[Agadododoo]

Friends outside of school, or their school's teaching style?

Trying to decide between two schools for DD.

School 1. Walkable in 10 mins. Very academic style from day 1. Kids sit at desks in reception etc. They have to finish their schoolwork before going outside to play. Focus on "resilience" and "stamina". I've heard mutterings if kids being "shamed", but tbf that's always from parents who don't have kids there. Great results in KS1 and KS2. Ofsted outstanding.

School 2. Walkable in 25mins or 15 on the bus (no option to drive even if we had a car, which we don't). Montessori approach in yr R and 1, very focused on welfare/happiness of children and child neurodevelopment. Ok KS1 results, great KS2 results (v similar to those of school 1). Ofsted outstanding.

Context is that DD (as far as we can tell - she's only 3) is pretty average academically, but definitely over the average in terms of energy 😁. She's also very sociable but is an only child, and will remain an only, so friends are very important to her. She's fairly confident and outgoing. We don't have a car and won't be getting one, so play dates etc might be a problem for school 2. The vast majority of children where we live will go to school 1, although there are a few children in our street and neighbouring streets at school 2 (due to distance calculation/location of large parks etc).

Any thoughts? Obviously it might be decided for us as places are not guaranteed, but trying to decide which to put as first choice.

Thanks!

Any school associated with the word 'shamed' would be on my no list.

Talk to other parents a LOT before considering such a school.

School 1 does sound pretty grim tbh.

It's ok to go against the grain. Neither will make s big difference socially, primary school friends are irrelevant long term, so long as you had fun in school and people to play with at lunch.

Have you been to visit either school? 25 mins is a longish walk for a tired reception aged child at the end of the day. Also at the closer school she would have local friends. Go and visit and see for yourself.

School 2 for me.
Is Miss Trunchbull the head of school 1 ? can't imagine how anyone could get a reception class sitting at desks.

School 2

School 2 for sure. I think social interactions and welfare are just as important as academic achievement and it sounds like school one isn’t very balanced.

School 2, sounds like a balanced provision, kinder, more supportive.

Definitely go and visit, but any school where reception aged children are prevented from playing until they've finished their work would get a hard pass from me. There is SO MUCH research supporting the importance of free play for young children - for learning everything from social skills to risk assessment to geometry to linguistic skills. Sitting at a desk doing a worksheet is probably the least effective way for a 4 or 5 year old to process information.

Walkable in 10 mins is a huge advantage IMO, so I would think very carefully before discounting school 1 based on some rumours from people whose kids don't even go there.

Definitely school 2. We travelled out of catchment to a great school & I don't regret it for a minute, it was by far the best school for my DC.

Obviously not school 1. That sounds miserable. The last thing you want to do in primary is put them off learning.

Have you been round them yourself - because I'm surprised at the desk in reception bit TBH if you find that true rather than rumour from parents whose kids don't go there - then I'd be unhappy with it.

However if it's not true I'd go for closer school - 10 minutes walkability with friends living nearby is good though if you don't get that local groups can mean she'd meet nearby kids anyway.

School 2. There’s a reason the happiest societies don’t start formal education til later. The walk would be good for you all too.

From the description 2, but visit both you may be pleasantly suprised.

Sorry forgot to mention - yes, I have been round them both.

I actually didn't dislike school 1 as much I expected. The desk use isn't from day 1 but builds up through the first term. The reception class did seem happy and active. Walking past the yr 1 class was a bit depressing though - all sitting silently at their desks 😞

I really loved school 2.

Well theres the answer, go with your gut.

School 2.

The damage a school like School 1 could do might take years to unravel.

Your child will make friends in the neighbourhood outside of school.

That make it easier -school 2 first.

She likely meet nearby kids with swimming brownie/cubs groups etc or just playing out if that's a worry.

Desks came in Y1 for both primary schools mine went two and were only part of the day even then - so being at desk very early in reception is odd and off putting.

Have you viewed any other schools?
We are in the position of looking for schools and have viewed 2 out of catchment schools in the adjoining village. It has helped us pull apart the schools as you start to see more things that you want in a school

Yeah, we've seen 2 others - one was great but similar distance to school 2, plus it was catholic (we're not).

Other was very close to us. Parents rave about it but the impression I got wasn't good (very chaotic) and the sats results are pretty bad.

I would be school 2 as well. Only academic children will flourish at a school like 1.

I meant rather than comparison of 1 Vs 2 do schools 3 and 4 Vs 1 and schools 3 and 4 Vs 2.
Doing this it was much more apparent how much more positively we spoke about one of our two schools than comparing them individually. For us schools 3 and 4 are completely out of the question due to distance but they still have had a role in find what things we really care about when looking at the 2 schools that are suitable.

honestly, probably the closest one.

It depends on your child and where they will fit in. Lots will talk about sitting at desks early on being miserable and damaging but some children are ready for it by reception and will thrive. Others will absolutely hate it and need the play based learning for longer and if that’s your child, it is the wrong school for them. The second school getting the same end point in terms of results without needing to pressure children early on does say a lot

Don’t go by rumours, many parents feel it’s essential to put something else down to justify their own choice.

Depending on your jobs/commute etc, don’t underestimate the convenience of school being a short walk away

Thanks @Superscientist that's a useful ideaa