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Parenting

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Original poster

what do you do when you have put on a lunch and guests children wont eat it?

74 replies

shoptilidrop · 10/03/2008 09:32

My dh invited one of his old friends over for lunch on sat. we havent seen them for years. He asked the husband if there was anything they didnt eat and he said no.
I had a spread of lovely cheese topped and plain rolls from the bakers, some with egg mago, some with tuna and sweetcorn, some cheese and tomatoe,some ham and tomatoe and some plain cheese. There was also crisps, humous and veg. Small choc biscuit selection, homemade spounge cake. Homemade fruit juice jellies with fruit in them and also yougurts.
Their boys, aged 12 and 9 refused to eat any of it and i was told they dont like it,but might eat plain bread.. i only had wholemeal, so apparently that was no good. I was horriby embarassed. One of the boys did try a tuna roll, but apparently it was discusting so he could not eat it!

So what do you do in this situation???

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Buda · 10/03/2008 10:12

My DS is a bit fussy too - he would have eaten plain cheese roll (white or wholemeal) and crisps. Would have had a choc biscuit but prob nothing else from dessert selection - poss yoghurt.

However - tough - he can go hungry!

There was def enough in your selection that the children should have found something they liked.

brimfull · 10/03/2008 10:12

My ds won't eat sandwiches or rolls,it is embarassing .
He would have scoffed the veg,crisps,jelly and biscuits though.
I would have forewarned you of his strangeness though and hoped that you wouldn't have minded .

TheHonEnid · 10/03/2008 10:12

i ate the stuff though didnt put in handbag

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snowleopard · 10/03/2008 10:12

Your spread sounds ideal - lots of separate bits to pick and choose from. I can assure you my DS would have stuffed his face! But some kids I think are not just picky, they're also used to certain types of "kids' " food and convenience food, ie fish fingers, frozen pizza, chicken nuggets etc - and they're not sure what to do when faced with homemade stuff. Not that those foods are wrong, DS loves fish fingers, but from an early age he's been used to homecooked and adult food with lots of ingredients. I have a friend who, for example, in a cafe always gets her DD a plain cheese sandwich - while DS shares what I'm having. Some kids are raised eating such a narrow range of food that it's hard for them to be adaptable.

I know having a non-picky DS, I have been guilty of making food other people's kids don't like. I made this said friend and her DD some soup once - to me, that's plain food, but she wouldn't eat it because it was made of different ingredients mixed together. It just hadn't occurred to me that would be a problem!

Beetroot · 10/03/2008 10:13

htere are only so may cottage cheese snadwiches one can eat - and dh was not going to help

My kids were gagging lol

Original poster

shoptilidrop · 10/03/2008 10:14

so less effort is the way to go then...........

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Hopeysgirlwasntbig · 10/03/2008 10:15

give em fruits shoots next time

PABLOP · 10/03/2008 10:15

I would say get out of my house you poor excuses for parents and take your spoilt disgusting brats with you.

Only joking but I would be thinking it!

Fillyjonk · 10/03/2008 10:19

I never quite know what to do here either.

ds(4) has, by my standards, a supremely picky friend, but furthermore the few things he eats are things that we just wouldn't normally have in-sandwich meat, ultra-flacid white bread, jam without bits or various other things. Now I don't mind at all getting stuff IN for him-he's a guest, after all, and if one of our friends were coming over, I'd try to make sure they had something to eat that I knew they liked-but it bloody seems to CHANGE, literally day by day.

I do think these kids are a little old to be behaving like this. Fair enough that they don't like the food, but the 12 yo at least is surely old enough to know not to say anything. My 4 year old knows not to say anything.

Original poster

shoptilidrop · 10/03/2008 10:19

or sausage rolls... followed by stolen graps from the supermarket!!

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milkgoddess · 10/03/2008 10:19

how about give puting the rolls out and the filling seperate.
then the kids could make there own rolls

bit stupid of the parents to say they eat anything though !

Tickle · 10/03/2008 10:19

LOL beetroot

My kids would have scoffed lots, you gave them lots of choice, so don't worry about it! Did you have a nice time with the parents, aside from this? Wonder what your kids will be offered if you are asked back??

Tommy · 10/03/2008 10:19

I hope my DSs have grown out of their pickiness by the time they are 9 and 12

Sounds like a god spread but I always leave the rolls plain too and then children an add their own fillings (or not as in the case of DS1 )

largeginandtonic · 10/03/2008 10:20

I think you did a very nice lunch, the parents should be the ones who are embarrassed. How very rude of them to say things like that!

Mine would be getting a swift kick under the table if they uttered a word about the food being horrid.

I do always keep it very simple when they have friends over though, i have had far too many experiences of childen round for tea who eat naff all. It is incredibly frustrating, when you have gone to lots of trouble, for them to turn their nose up at it.

Spag bol and chicken always a winner, not with all though. We have had one who eats chocolate spread sandwiches and nothing else. Another who will only eat chicken nuggets and pepparamis, needless to say when they come here they starve

Mine all eat blardy everything so i realise i am slightly blinkered on the issue of fussy children.

GetOrfMoiLand · 10/03/2008 10:20

DD loves it when her friends come round because she knows she is guaranteed to get stuff like chicken nuggets, chips or pizza. I see no point in making parsnip puree or whatever.

WRT to the boys, I would have been blase and ignored it. No point in making a fuss and certainly wouldn't have been embarassed. Don't necessarily think the boys are being rude though, if you really don't like something you do feel really strongly about it, I remember when I was a kid and being made to eat cucumber, it felt like the world had come to an end.

Original poster

shoptilidrop · 10/03/2008 10:21

its not even that they are picky.. i dont care about that, they just should have TOLD me when they were ASKED and i would have made sure i had something they would eat.

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Habbibu · 10/03/2008 10:22

You made very nice and not exactly poncy food, shop. I wonder quite what the parents thought you night provide. DD and I will come and eat the leftovers, if you like...

clumsymum · 10/03/2008 10:23

I cannot believe that kids of 12 & 9 won't eat any of that, Good God what DO they eat then?

My ds (8) would have hoovered down the lot (and done so politely, probably telling you how nice it was).

Not even the Crisps? I might have chucked an extra packet of crisps at them both, but that would have been my ony concession.
Tough.

PrincessPeaHead · 10/03/2008 10:24

I would ask if they wanted yoghurt or fruit and if not said they could get down

Not my problem if people's kids won't eat perfectly normal food - it is not as if there wasn't any choice.

I don't think anyone should be embarrassed about it - if they don't want to eat - fair enough. They'll be hungry by the next meal. Move on!

Hulababy · 10/03/2008 10:25

You did fine. You asked in advance for things they didn't like and were not given any indication of thinsg to avoid. The lunch sounds lovely and there were lots of options. If necessary they would have just have biscuits, crisps or cake.

If I had been the guests I would have been horrified if that had been my children's reactions. But DD, at 5yo, would know not to behave in that manner, even if she didn't like something. At 12y and 9y there were rude and it was not acceptable.

Tought if they couldn't find anything they liked to eat - their problem for not telling you how faddy they were in the first place.

Hulababy · 10/03/2008 10:26

BTW I wouldn't have made an issue out of it. When they responded and said plain bread, I'd have offered and then let it drop. Up to the parents of the children to sort it out from there.

Gameboy · 10/03/2008 10:29

Sounds fine, and they are just picky. Having said that, I usually do a spread of potential fillings (cold ham/ chicken/ cheese/ sliced tomoato/ cucumber etc) and let kids make their own since if you combine things there may always be one item a kid doesn't like which then 'ruins' the sandwich...

I bet they eat crap at home which is why the Dad didn't think to say 'oh, yes, they don't like home-cooked, nutritious food'

ladette · 10/03/2008 10:29

Quite,shoptilidrop. FWIW our entire family would have loved your very generous spread leaving you worried that you hadn't bought enough! You did ask and they didn't tell you how fussy their kids are. Their problem, but they must be used to it. You'd put out a wide variety of foods, so if they didn't like any of it, they just have very narrow tastes. I'd have just said very loudly "I'm sorry your DCs don't like my food, but we did ask what they didn't eat and were told they ate everything". Feel free to invite the ladette family over any time!!!

castille · 10/03/2008 10:36

What a rude family - I'd have been upset too, and would never allow my children to comment like that. I'd have just said sorry, I have nothing else, through gritted teeth probably and left it at that.

I do tend to assume all visiting children will be picky now (and generally they don't eat much anyway) so I give them ridiculously plain food that they can eat as it is or add things on offer (eg pasta with or without tomato sauce, grated cheese, just butter, ham...)

saadia · 10/03/2008 10:43

I don't think you can do anything in this situation, you gave them a huge choice, I think it is up to the parents to deal with it.

My own dss, esp ds1 can be very fussy and will sometimes just have cucumber at peoples' houses. I tell him that he has to eat something from what's on offer or have nothing, he would have happily had the crisps. But at age 12 and 9 I would hope he would be a bit more polite than your guests. I would rather that they learnt that their tastes will not always be pandered to and if they are hungry they will have something - even if just plain rice or bread.

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