7 year old is so fussy with clothes can anyone relate?

[Charlie90123]

My 7 year old DD will refuse to wear anything other than a pair of leggings and about 2 of her T-Shirts. I know it shouldn't matter what children wear but they're old and a bit tatty now and she has a wardrobe full of lovely new clothes but will have a paddy anytime I try to get her to wear any of them. I've tried taking her shopping she'll pick loads then when it comes to wearing them she says she doesn't like them now. I just don't know what to do. It makes me sad seeing all other little girls dressed really nice at parties and I'm worried other mums think the leggings and tatty T-shirts are all I have for her.

Your first issue is worrying about other parents.
let her choose. Stop making clothes an issue because you’ll make it worse.

Buy things in the same material. I bet it’s the soft jersey she likes.

Can she explain why she doesn't like them ? For example is she unhappy that she can feel the labels and seams? Did she try the clothes in the shop? Can you buy the same brand on T-shirt and leggings on eBay or Vinted (I'm assuming that it's not in the shops atm)

I agree about ignoring other mums but you need a plan before she outgrows the current favourites.

I'm neurodiverse and I was a nightmare with clothes as a child and I still am as an adult. I can't wear anything itchy (or that even looks itchy). Labels and anything attached to something (like a bow) send me crazy and also anything around my neck. So I can't wear polo necks for example and always buy V necks. As a child I spent most of my life in the same two pairs of trousers and 2 particular cotton tops come rain or shine. Please do ask your daughter calmly what makes her uncomfortable.

I did think it might be a comfort thing at one point however the couple of times we've been to an occasion such as a wedding I've pushed through the tantrum and she has worn something different and after she's calmed down she's absolutely fine no complaints about how the clothes feel but then I don't really want to do that unless it is for an occasion where the typical leggings and T-shirt aren't appropriate.

Just wait for the professionally offended to turn up and take you to task about ‘paddy’ OP.

As a person who has an Irish family, I’m going on record, saying we’re not bothered.

Yeah so at the start of the summer holidays I took her shopping she picked a few outfits and tried everything on absolutely loved them got home tried them all on again and did a fashion show I thought brill we've cracked it then the following week when I put one of the new outfits out she had a full blown meltdown saying she doesn't like any of them they feel too big / too small and said can I return them.

It might be a control thing then. I know everyone will say let her wear what she wants but at the end of the day you are the parent. You do give your daughter a say, it's not like you are imposing a style. But ultimately you get to decide what she wears.
I would push through the tantrum 4 days in a row and that's likely going to be the end of the problem.
It doesn't sound like a sensory issue.

My ds is like this, he's a bit older and I've just learned to go with it now. If I find something he really likes then I'll buy 2 or 3. I've been known to buy the next size up as well.

It's a sensory thing for him, but also now he'll only wear Nike and black or grey.

Shoes are the worst!!! So many pairs worn once and never again or tried and returned.

Not worth the aggro - my girls used to wear the most extraordinary combinations of clothes - if she can't do it now, when can she?

My ten year old is like this. She did get a bit better a year or so ago but is now back to being very limited again. Although it was terrible in lockdown where we couldn’t even find knickers she’d tolerate!
she doesn’t like seams, labels, waistbands that she can feel. When she decides she can’t wear something she’ll often say it is too small, but other things that really are too small she’ll wear. Shoes are a nightmare as they are always too tight when new. She only had one pair of trousers she’ll wear in a soft material and so they get quite grubby sometimes because she wants to wear them every day in the holidays.
i can understand being conscious of what other people think, it doesn’t make you a bad person - I go with my daughters preferences but am also conscious that children not wearing clean/fitting/inappropriate for weather clothes can be considered neglectful and people don’t always see or understand the sensory issues behind them. I’ve had years of explaining why my child would rather freeze than wear gloves for example!