Why is this normal behaviour for boys

[deliveryone]

I have a baby (18 months now) and for the past few months, I’ve witnessed some horrible behaviour and comments from boys (aged 8/9/10.)

It normally happens at a park. A boy will say to me, completely unprovoked, ‘ew I hate babies.’ I’ve had boys try and scare my baby by making horrible faces, and deliberately trying to upset him. And today it happened again, the boy was being nasty to my baby (who’s thankfully unbothered), I told him that’s not very nice and then he climbed up to the climbing frame and threw his toy sword down right next to where we were standing. I can only assume he was trying to hurt my son but he missed and looked disappointed with himself.

I’m a first time mum and this has really blew my mind. If it had happened just once with just one child I wouldn’t over think it, but it’s been 3 or 4 times now. What’s worse is the parents of these boys are often not in ear shot because they’re of the age where they can play more independently. I guess I’m intrigued as to what others think about this and why it is that boys act like this as opposed to girls.

I have a DS(8) and he has never behaved like this and would get a right telling off if he did. If anything, he has no interest in very small children and pretty much ignores those we don’t know.

When DS was about 4 he was playing at a splash park and a girl of about 8-9 shouted in his face to “f@@@ off you loser,” so there are horrors of children of all ages, and equally ineffective parents, and you may have just been unlucky to meet so many.

My boys are 8 and 10 and have a 2 year old sibling. I have never seen them behave that way to any babies around them. You've just come across some not very nice kids, I'd ignore them.

Yabu I’ve experienced girls and boys being nice to my babies. I think maybe you’re hanging out at the wrong park!

This isn’t normal behaviour for boys. I have 2 boys aged 13 and 7 and they wouldn’t behave like that but then neither would my girls aged 11 and 5.

Eh? Why would you assume this is normal for boys?? You’ve meant some unpleasant kids that’s all.

Of course it's not normal. Why would you think that?

Sorry, I didn’t phrase that correctly. I meant why is it that boys act like this as opposed to girls.
I understand that girls and boys can both be nasty but being nasty to a baby I’ve only experienced it from boys. Never seen a girl be nasty to my baby. That was my point.

It’s not normal behaviour for boys. I have 3 in the kind of age range you talk about, one loves babies and is really kind and gentle around them, the other two aren’t interested but wouldn’t be nasty to them.

Some kids, are unkind, regardless of gender.

It's not normal. I have a ten year old boy. He loves babies and animals. My brothers were the same.

Its not normal behaviour for boys at all you just seem to have encountered some horrible ones.

I would stop going to that park!!

I used to teach extracurricular and some boys of this age are just arsey nightmares that want to feel like they've got one over on adults. I always used to get really flummoxed by it, but these days if I come across them in a park etc and the parents are nowhere to be seen, I sometimes walk up to them and say something like "What on EARTH are you doing? This is a little children's park." You do have to look VERY confident and a bit strict, or they will just laugh and mock you, but if you get it right they usually scarper. Sometimes you'll even get a mumbled "sorry"!

I wouldn't say it's normal behaviour for boys. I have, and know, 8-year-old boys and I've found them adorable with younger children (younger siblings and cousins). I think you've just been unlucky unfortunately.

My DS is a bit younger (4) but adores babies. A friend visited today with her baby and he stood guard around her the whole time, told us off if we were being too noisy for the baby, went and brought her cushions and a blanket in case she needed to sleep and just was all round amazing.

It’s not normal behaviour for boys I’ve literally never seen it.

I’d also say 8/9/10 is too old for a toy sword at the park.

when my DS’ were that age (one still is) they loved the park but you swords were a phase that was over by 7 really.

Literally never experienced this at all. I did experience a pre-teen boy telling his friends to cut out the swearing on a bus once when I was with my toddler twins.

Bizarre behaviour. I have three boys and they love babies...

I have 4 children and this has never happened to us.

Do you live in a really rough area full of unpleasant weirdos?

What you describe here is not normal in most areas.

It's not 'normal for boys' what a sweeping statement!

There's so much going on on this post, in the thread as a whole.

This behaviour is not 'normal for boys' - but of course some boys are raised incorrectly. Some fight, swear, bully etc.

Just because you've not encountered unpleasant girls doesn't mean they don't exist.

As for why boys and girls behave differently - parents and society as a whole treat them very differently.

My 12 year old boy absolutely loves babies, and all the boys he knows are the same, they all fuss around a toddler.
You've just met some horrible kids who prob have shitty home lives.
Def not a boy thing.

I don't think it's normal for children at all.
In many years as a parent and childminder I've come across a few older boys and girls who are unkind to little ones, but not age 8+ (more like 3-5 year olds) and not more boys than girls.

If something like this happened more than once in the same park I'd stop going there I think!

Sounds awful. I have 3 boys, 7yr old loves little people and babies, he wants to play with them, talk to them, hold them. He’s very sweet with them, he can be a horror with his brothers but other little kids he loves! Actually only with 4 yr old he dotes on 2 yr old brother. It’s nothing I’ve done he just likes children. 4 yr old isn’t bothered he isn’t bad to little ones but he’s not interested in them. Please don’t think all boys are like that!

Sounds like you’ve met some awful boys. There are girls who will be equally as awful, but have better social awareness and are awful in different ways. Of course no children are “awful” really, they should be being supervised and told off! But yea I’d go to a different park.