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Parenting

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Original poster

Sleepovers at grandparents house

57 replies

summerwinterdh · 28/10/2023 16:55

Does anyone else hate this as much as me?

We've done it when we've really needed it - moving house for example .

But I don't like to be apart from my child who is 4years old

Anyone else the same?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

BendingSpoons · 28/10/2023 18:07

I don't particularly like it when my kids are away. They love it though, so they go anyway. Usually every 3m or so. I always wake up at 6.30 anyway annoyingly.

Cinnamo · 28/10/2023 18:07

All the lovely relationships between grandparents and grandchildren are making me feel warm and fuzzy, and a bit bittersweet

Very (very) rarely will dc sleepover at grandparent’s and when they do, it’s very clear it’s a favour rather than out of genuine want

mummyof2tobe · 28/10/2023 18:09

Soontobe60 · 28/10/2023 18:04

As a granny, I have had my grandchildren for sleepovers from them being about 4 months old - once they were able to have expressed milk from a bottle essentially.
They sleep over on average once a month and we love it!

You sound lovely! I wish I could trust my mum with my kids but from my childhood I know I can't. If I had trustworthy parents I absolutely wouldn't feel bad about leaving them! If they enjoy it then why not?

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4 year olds Families General parenting

Anyflippingname · 28/10/2023 18:20

I'd kill for this. Never been offered sadly.

Tribblesarelovely · 28/10/2023 18:22

Please don’t deprive your children of the chance of having a lovely relationship with their Grandparents. My children are in their 40s, and look back with so much love on all the weekends they had with them. Not only was it great for them, but it helped keep me and my DH together. Having that time together reminded us that we were a couple , not just Mum and Dad.

NotToYou · 28/10/2023 18:24

I happily send mine off to the grandparents when they offer! The kids love it and we get a break and some time to go out for dinner and drinks.

SquigglePigs · 28/10/2023 19:02

I do sympathise. DD first stayed over at her grandparents when she was 3 and I struggled with such mixed feelings - liking having time alone with DH and a lie in but also missing her but also knowing she was having a wonderful time...

She's now nearly 5 and I very much enjoy a night or day or so to ourselves knowing how much fun she's having (although I do still miss her!).

Holly60 · 28/10/2023 19:03

Mumoftwotoddlers · 28/10/2023 17:15

I also hate it, ours don't get the kids overnight unless supervised with their aunt

Sounds tough. But many people have at least one grandparent who is willing and able to help out.

I think if a parent has a trusted grandparent available, they tend to be happy to send the kids for a sleepover.

PotOfPlenty · 29/10/2023 14:21

You are too clingy.

I would understand if it was a 4 month old, but the kid is four.

Harrysmummy246 · 29/10/2023 15:25

Merrily dropped 6yo DS off yesterday and will collect him on Weds as it's half term. DH and I have done stuff like clearing the gutters today and will be doing the secret toy removal sessions etc

My DM offers as she knows she isn't necessarily going to be able to in future and didn't necessarily have the level of support she'd have wished for with us. She plans outings and enjoys spoiling him. He loves going.

Didn't happen til he was almost 4 thanks to covid but now it features in most school holidays. Important for DH and me as a couple

SouthLondonMum22 · 29/10/2023 15:26

I'm the opposite. Enjoy a break and DS started having sleepovers at 6 weeks old.

I feel lucky that he has active, involved Grandparents who can't get enough of him.

Mojodojocasahaus · 29/10/2023 15:27

Nope I love it and he loves it

Screamingabdabz · 29/10/2023 15:37

Its such a shame people feel like this - I know not all grandparents are suitable but if they love and cherish your children, it’s such a beautiful bond and it helps child feel confident and safe having loving, invested adults around them.

My niece is like you op. She used to say ‘I don’t need time away from my children’ so as a consequence, the wider family were never able to form individual bonds with those boys. They’re older now and the ship has sailed, but it’s so sad that we don’t know them as individuals. They’re just shy lads who don’t leave her side and consider us as strangers. It might suit her, but they and we, have missed out on family friendship and who knows what adventures and joy we all could have shared. Sad.

cptartapp · 29/10/2023 15:45

I would have killed for it. From a very young age.
Never happened in 13 years.

ShutTheDoorBabe · 29/10/2023 15:53

Mine are preteens now but I've always been more than happy to send them off to anyone who will have them! They've stayed at several family members' houses overnight from being a few weeks old and it gave dh and me the time we needed to talk, offload and sleep.

They don't often go to my mum's or siblings' houses for the night now, preferring sleepovers at friends' houses (and then having friends staying here) instead, often meaning that they're rarely away at the same time, but when they do it's great for us. We get to chill and to be ourselves without being "on duty" and having to be quiet.

FrenchandSaunders · 29/10/2023 16:00

Why OP? Don’t you trust them?

Mine are adults now but we loved dropping them at GPs for the night/weekend. They were very close due to this. And me and DH could go out for dinner/drinks/cinema. Very important to have time alone if you can.

FrenchandSaunders · 29/10/2023 16:01

Our kids are twins and one big benefit was that they did school trips/brownie sleepovers etc together meaning we were child free 🥳

Ibravedaflood · 29/10/2023 16:02

My ds is 9. Slept out about 4 times.. Ever. Both happy with that.

ImAMinion · 29/10/2023 17:52

Sorry @Mumoftwotoddlers if I upset you, I was only saying my opinion based on the positive relationship I had with my grandparents and that largely included sleepovers and weekends away with them. I loved my bunk beds at their house and that loving relationship. I don’t see why it’s harmful to give the opinion of a child who it worked out really well for.

I have seen my dad have my niece and nephew to stay multiple times and would trust him with all my heart, I can see the same status of relationship between them as I had with my own grandparents, even if I did miss my child greatly in the process. I also see how keen he is sometimes to give them back which is always quite amusing.

I would also rather they have somewhere where I know they feel safe and comfortable to sleep in case of emergency.

APurpleSquirrel · 29/10/2023 18:01

Nope, love it when PIL have DC for the night - gives us a break & they have so much fun together.

whoamI00 · 29/10/2023 20:25

I'd hate it.

Nancy155 · 29/10/2023 21:20

I agree with you, I hate it when they aren’t here. The house feels so empty without them. My children very rarely have sleepovers with anyone, they are happiest at home and so am I! But it does seem like we are in the minority but if it works for you and is isn’t causing a problem then theres no need to change it!

saraclara · 29/10/2023 21:34

I'm glad that my DD has encouraged sleepovers for my DGD.(nearly 4) and me. I love the relationship that's grown between us and the routines and small pleasures that DGD has created for herself and for us when she visits. They're such lovely times, and I think my DD gets pleasure from seeing.the loving relationship between her mum and her daughter. And she knows that in an emergency there'll be no problem, I'm here and DGD will be happy and secure in her bedroom at grandma's.

KatyN · 29/10/2023 21:43

summerwinterdh · 28/10/2023 17:56

Lol!! I am quite clearly out numbered here in my feelings towards this!!! I think I must just be very controlling !!! Lol

Is it that you want your rules at gp's house? We used to have this with our oldest but the little one is a bit wild!
Now we make a joke of the fact she'll have an ice cream for breakfast. It's once every 6ish months and she thinks it's amazing.

I don't even ask what time she went to bed. It's never awful but about an hour after normal time.

It did take a concerted effort for me to not want to control their fun. I know my folks wouldn't do anything crazy or break a cardinal rule (which I'm not sure what they are)

Mumaway · 29/10/2023 21:44

No, I want it to happen as often as possible. They love it, I love it.

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