Hello,
I'll do my best to keep this short but will be difficult.
My family:
Husband
Wife
Eldest son (12) - wife
Eldest daughter (7) - husband
Youngest son (3) - husband/wife
Youngest daughter (1) - husband/wife
Husband had very difficult situation with daughter. Previous relationship very short-lived, separated when child was <1. Ex-partner served husband, tried to take daughter and everything he had. There was a (5) year court battle, daughter was awarded 50/50. Ex-partner did terrible things; children's aid calls (unfounded) police calls (unfounded) accusations of Wife's son being abusive to very young daughter. Ex-partner always trying to sabotage the relationship and causing trauma within the new family unit.
Husband's daughter is troubled with behaviour from all the conflict it seems, meltdowns, tantrums, self centered, rude, non-listener, disobedience, storyteller, untruthful, list goes on BUT still, a young kid.
Husband and wife constant conflict due to the daughter and the ex-partner's ways, despite a court order in place. Wife has emotional disregulation and belligerent attacks at husband, screaming and yelling about his parenting ways, how terrible the daughter is and even makes nasty comments about the husband wanting to have sexual relations with his daughter because she looks like her Mother. Some of these comments, not all, are within earshot of the daughter and other children. Wife claims/justifies her actions because of the husband's inadequacy of addressing the daughter behaviour (the husband is trying to balance everything).
Husband explains to wife that he understand her frustration with the daughter but her actions of handling the frustration are completely incorrect and require attention.
Husband feels that his wife has real resentment and contempt for his child and is in a position where he is struggling with action to take. On one hand there is leaving the marriage to protect his child at the cost of a (6) person family unit being broken, including adding (2) of his other children into a "broken home" situation. Another is to try and continue the marriage through counseling and consistency. Husband has spoken with daughter to reassure his love and care for her and daughter says step mom she likes and cares for but doesn't understand the anger towards her.
Husband, as a Dad, is terrified of one of his little children not wanting to be in the family one day because of this situation and the situation is also contributing to poor examples of conflict navigation within the home for all children. Relationship/marriage very stressed because of the past and current issues to where it's impacting all aspects of the family unit; livelihood, family relationships, safety/stability of the home.