How do you know if your child is emotionally ready for school?

[Mamabear04]

Just wondering how do you know if your child is emotionally ready to start school? Where I live kids can start school at 4y or choose to defer. DD would be almost 5 years if she were to start next year. She loves numbers, letters and problem solving activities but she can be quite shy and timid when it comes to older kids (if they are very boisterous). How do I know if she's ready and will she become bored if I chose to defer her. She currently attends nursing for a few hours every week. Any advice would be amazing!

Ask her? Talk to her about school and what it'll entail and gauge her reaction. Talk to nursery and see what they say about how she is in regards to the areas you're concerned about. If you do defer her then you need to consider whether you have the capacity to begin getting her ready - there are huge home ed communities out there that will have plenty of suggestions and resources that you could utilise within that year if she doesn't go.

We are in the same position. My daughter will be 4 and a few weeks when she starts school or we could defer for a year.

She is so so shy in new situations, she is also very small and currently the size of an 18 month old. She is in nursery 4 days a week however and loves being challenged there. She is in a room with all the kids that she will start school with and she is thriving in there. If I judge her purely how she is at home I would be so hesitant about sending her in based on how she is a nursery I think I could send her to school tomorrow!

Would she be one of the youngest if you don't defer?

I sometimes wonder what it would have been like if we deferred DD1. We could of technically, but it was right at the beginning in England. Academically she struggled until she was 10. Emotionally she was a bit younger. But in other ways she's more mature (work ethic, responsibility etc) and she would be completely out of place in the year below for those reasons.

Its very hard to look at a 3/4yo and know how they will be at 10yo or 15yo.

I think it really all depends on the child
My DS is one of the youngest in his reception class but we were debating deferring him a year. I spoke to his nursery who were really reassuring that he was doing well and on track. In the end I felt that a second year at nursery would not benefit him or challenge him especially as he would only be in for a few hours a day. We've just had our first parent teacher meeting and been told he is at the top of the class and in the advanced reading group with a small number of other children. I know that it's early days but I do think he is thriving being challenged and learning. He's also been able to stay with a few friends from nursery which benefited the transition. I think seeing his friends move on would have been hard for him and affected his confidence.

Speak to the professionals who see your child in the nursery setting, they will be doing assessments and can guide you. If my son had any developmental concerns I would have deferred but I don't think age should be the only reason.

I wouldn’t. My dd was an average 4yrs 2 months on starting school, she could write her name but not read and socially was a bit behind - she didn’t really play with other children until towards the end of reception.

Once she did start to though, socially there was no difference between her and other children.

Academically she’s been flying since end of year 1, she’s 10 now and reads better than most adults I would say.

She’s tall for her age and started puberty at age 8 (end of y3).

Deferring her in all this context would have been horrific academically and socially - but none of these things were apparent at age 4.