Not coping - please help

[testy1997]

Toddler and 3 month old. I'm not coping. Three month is colic, miserable, doesn't sleep, won't go to anyone and just difficult. Toddler constantly needs me. She's in childcare but even with that it's unbearable.
Dr has prescribed anti-ds but I don't want to take them. I just don't.
Please someone tel me it gets better or offer some coping mechanisms because I fear I'll just run away and not look back. I feel on the edge and having dark dark thoughts.

@Superscientist @HeadAgainstWall0923 but what if it's just fussiness and not an allergy?

They will be the same on the formula as off.
It can make reflux worse as they are thinner.

Allergies come in two varieties delayed and immediate. Immediate are the ones that most people think about and the delayed can have very subtle symptoms which are difficult to figure out

Even with my 3 yo it's bordering on impossible to work out why she is unsettled and she can speak. When it's a 3 month old it's impossible! I drove myself nuts trying to work everything out. I ended up in a psychiatric hospital.

My advice is to look through potential causes and pick through the ones you can investigate easily and in a non or minimally invasive way.

About 10% of babies with a cows milk allergy are ok with goats milk. 90% react to both so that might be worth a shot ahead of the extensive hydrolysed formulas but there's a significant chance it won't offer an improvement over the cows milk.

They you won’t see any change and you just go back to the normal milk.

The only way you can confirm or rule out a dairy allergy is to trial removing dairy from the diet.

Generally they will want you to change to dairy free milk for a month and observe for any changes - if you see a huge improvement then it’s likely it was due to the milk. They will still ask you to revert back to normal milk for a few days after a month of being dairy-free because then if your baby’s symptoms appear again then it even further confirms that it’s the milk that’s the problem.

No harm will come to your baby by trialling dairy-free milk. Worst case scenario is that you don’t see any improvement and so you just go back to the normal milk and accept that maybe your baby is just a fussy one.

You cannot know either way until you trial her on a dairy-free diet.

You're at the hardest stage I promise, it will get easier x

Follow your gut OP. I was told over and over DS1 must have reflux or an allergy. I’m certain to this day he did not. He was just a fussy, high needs baby. You can see it now in his intense, switched on, high energy personality.

@VivaVivaa that's the thing.. I think it's just her. I tried to go out this morning and she screamed in the buggy and just made it all so miserable