7 week old - just need to hear some reassuring words please

[dontlikethepaintcolour]

I'm just having a tough time and need to hear that this gets easier.

Velcro baby. To survive I am co sleeping, contact napping and using the carrier. Sometimes I feel fine doing all this and sometimes I feel suffocated and worry I should be practising putting her down more.

I have a 3yo who I really miss being able to pick up and spend quality time with because baby constantly attached to me.

Please send me some reassurance im feeling so low right now

I’ve been there. For me it got easier around 3 months. Now they’re 4 and 7 love each other lots and play together well. Can your partner take the older one for 30 mins a day so you can really focus on your toddler, even if that’s just cuddle together on the sofa while they watch ceebies?

7 weeks is still full newborn. You are doing everything right. I bet by Christmas you will be able to put them down a bit more and be more hands on with your toddler again. Keep going!

The first three months are hell. I'm not sure though if at that age they can learn already habits (Eg being put down). Is there anyone else that can carry her at times? Does she sleep in the pram? Then you could take your toddler and have a nice time while baby sleeps.

I used to snuggle up and read a book (or sometimes play a game if it only required one or no hands) to my older DD while ds was contact napping. Would that be possible?

Hang in there. It does get better.

Newborns are rough going, especially when you have another child. I found by 3 months Dd was less Velcro and I could put her down for a bit. I had a vibrating baby bouncer thing that she loved. I used to stick her in front of the washing machine in it to watch it while I got myself sorted 😂

Thank you all so much good advice

My daughter is 15 weeks, and she is also a Velcro baby. She will lie on her changing mat for 5 mins or so (the one with raised sides from IKEA), but forget a play mat! No chance. When she was a fresh newborn she would sleep in her Moses basket but now it’s on me, and I can forget trying to get her to fall asleep in a pram. She screams in the car seat. I bought the izmi baby carrier from Boots (£50) and she LOVES it, and it’s far less bulky than normal carriers. Yes, it’s hard sometimes not being able to put her down, but remember that the fact she wants to only sleep on you is a positive thing.
it means you are her safe place. At 7 weeks old she doesn’t know you’re a separate person, she thinks she is part of you. If she wants to be on you all the time it’s because you’re doing something right - you make her feel safe, protected, and loved. It’s really hard, I used to be so productive before I became a mum, and now I struggle with the inability to do anything while my daughter is stuck to me, but I try to see the positives. It’s because you have such a wonderful bond with her that she wants to be on you all the time. Try to keep your head up, this too shall pass.

7 week baby here too

I can relate I have a 2 year old also. He watched so much tv this morning (pls don't judge) that it asked "are you still watching?" 🙈🙈🙈 he was out the whole day at the beach etc with my in laws so lots of interactive play to combat the tv!! 😂

Anyways...was going to ask if you've tried a combination or any of the following to get your baby to sleep alone/in a crib....swaddle, white noise, dark room, warm crib (using hot water bottle to preheat!)? We also use a handy little gadget called a Rockit which attaches to a car seat/moses basket etc and gently jiggles/rocks it. So a combo of all of that can get them over I find...I try when he's most sleepy at 11am for a long nap.

If it's any consolation I do a lot of carrying in baby carrier and drives/ out and about in car seat.

Hang in there

You’re doing amazingly, this stage will soon pass. As other posters have said things gradually become a little easier at 3 months. I also had a 3 year age gap between mine and it was so hard those first few months, but you will get there! I remember how intense it was with a baby who wouldn’t be put down and a 3 year old that wanted my attention! It won’t be long and things will seem more manageable x

This is lovely and so positive!

I’ll also say that my daughter is a SUPER happy baby - so sociable, smiley, full of laughter. Nothing much phases her (other than the car seat!). How much of this is due to her always having her needs met with skin-to-skin and contact sleeping? Who knows. But I’d imagine it has certainly helped her feel safe and secure at all times. You’re being an excellent mum by meeting your baby’s needs, no matter how Velcro-y those needs are! This is only a few short months of your 3 year old’s life, but this is the whole of your baby’s newborn stage.

Thanks so much all