I’m at breaking point, toddler is awake again

[Justletmesleepplease]

My DC is 17 months and the last few weeks have been so hard. She just will not sleep through. I haven’t had a full night sleep in over three weeks.

I’m back to being in the newborn stage again but now she’s a toddler, me and DH have work in the morning, and my patience for her crying and whining all the time is on a string that’s about to break.

she used to sleep through but due to recent virus/cold/top back teeth coming through she’s hysterical all the time, and I’m now wondering if it’s a habit. she wakes up at least 6 times a night. And she’s just woken up now and I’m crying. I’m up with her this time as DH has a very long day tomorrow and he did it last night. Me and DH both share the load but we both get woken up as we live in a small flat and her screaming carries throughout so if one of us is awake the other is.

I give her calpol, she’s barely eating in the day at the moment. The doctors have said nothing else is wrong. What the fuck is going on? Is this normal toddler behaviour? How am I supposed to do a high stress job when I’m being woken up all the time?

I’m trying so hard to be patient but the lack of sleep because she’s js screaming all night mixed with work stress is making me want to scream and cry. And all I can think at this moment is what the hell have I done having a child. It’s too hard, I’ve ruined my life and I just want to sleep without getting up constantly. I hate myself for feeling like this and I hate this in general and like I’m a bad mother. I’m fucking exhausted I just want some sleep.

we have tried sleep training again but she just gets into such a state she makes herself vomit, or she coughs and coughs if she doesn’t get her way until she’s sick so that’s not an option anymore either.

That sounds really rough. No advice but you have my sympathy.

💐💐💐

My love, I hear your desperation. I have no advice to give, I just wanted to let you know you're not alone awake in the middle of the night.

My children are now grown up but I remember many a night of desperation when they were small - sleep deprivation is the absolute worst. But.. this too shall pass. Honestly. This too shall pass.

I’m pretty sure my 2 year old went through similar around 18 months. I’ve always coslept so that is how we got through it, is that an option?

If not then sorry I have no ideas but can sympathise. It’s so hard running on little sleep. Just try to remember you’ve been through regressions before and they pass. Grab sleep where you can, let other stuff like housework slide whilst you get through this patch. Get some ready meals/batch cook so cooking/cleaning is easier and you can get to bed earlier. Eg for a while my toddler woke at 12, I really struggled with this if I went to bed at 10 as I guess I was being woken as I got into a deep sleep so for a while I went to bed with her at 7/8. Was rubbish as I misssed out on that chill time but meant I was a bit more with it for the wake up as I’d had more sleep.

Just prefacing it that you might not like my advice.

Have you let them cry? My 16 months old does it very occasionally (once every 6 months or so) and I let him cry. After 5 mins he's asleep again and no more crying in the following nights.
One time I went in and resettled etc. and he started waking up crying as a habit. So I let him cry and it's stopped; he now sleeps 12 hours every night.

Unless he's unwell, night time is sleep time in our household and I want to be firm on that.

Sleep deprivation was NOT good for our home. Everyone's much happier when we all sleep.

Pretty normal for that age, mines 28 months and only just returned to sleeping through the night and not needing to be attached to someone 24/7. It has been very difficult and we tried everything suggested, unless you can afford an overnight nanny, you just have to ride it out if nothing works

We struggled with 3 long bouts of covid this year and I stopped sleep training my dc and reverted to co-sleeping. We're sleeping much better, dc sleeps through the night and there is less stress all around. Will resume sleep training in own room again soon.
Food/eating also changed quite a bit and I was getting worried, but last week dc surprised me by taking my snack of apple slices with hummus; ate a serve of chicken stew and had a bite of roasted acorn squash; and today had more hummus and some other things that had been off the list for a while. 🤷‍♀️

have coslept with all my kids until around 3 so never had this, can you not just sleep with her so you get a good sleep?

Co sleeping really doesn’t work for everyone. I can bring my toddler into my bed and she’s just confused and stays awake as that isn’t her usual space to sleep in!

No advice OP. My 2 year old is currently awake and that’s how she’s been since 19/20 months. Have you offered a light snack or a little bit of milk? It may just soothe her as a one off