Very emotional 6yo DD, new house

[bluecalendula]

We moved house recently, the current house is undergoing renovations so life has been tricky for a few weeks.

Our eldest DD, 6, has become extremely emotional - occasionally saying dramatic things like 'i hate my life' and 'i want to be someone else'

We know she misses the old house and the friend she had next door there, but we've really tried to make this place brilliant, with a new climbing frame she loves, space to ride her bike etc. As a family we're generally much happier here, there's more space. But we appreciate it's different and new and has challenges until the renovations are complete.

Is this level of emotion/dramatic statements normal in a 6yo?

Grateful for any kindly advice about helping a young girl through this

I am sorry to hear this.

I don't have kids, so I don't know how much help I can be. But I don't want to leave you waiting for a reply, so I'll have a go.

I am guessing your DD feels life is out of her control. She had a life she enjoyed where she was and familiarity, and did not choose to move herself. But then, she's 6 and will not realise that sometimes moves are important and necessary for other reasons she will not be able to understand.

Could you explain in simple terms how much better this new place is for her and the family?

Is there anyway she can keep in touch with her friend? Maybe the friend could come over to see the new place. Have you moved far? What about Zoom chats?

It sounds like you have done a lot to help her feel happy in the new place. There will be an adjustment period, so it's probably just a question of time. When she says something negative, acknowledge her feelings, admit you are also adjusting, but that you have to remember the reasons you moved, then distract her with something nicer.

Could you involve her as much as you can in the renovations? Help her pick stuff (from a selection where you wouldn't mind which one!). Maybe she could choose colours and bits and pieces for her new bedroom? This will give her focus and if she is involved in things as much as possible, she will start to feel connected to the new house.

I do wish you all well and hope other posters with children pop on with great advice.

Settling Kids into a New House: 14 Tips to Ease Your Transition (homelight.com)

I think she just needs time to adjust. Can she chose things for her new bedroom? She needs to learn to cope with change.

It's still early days, I think this is normal. Be patient and she'll get there.

Those statements sound like they are coming from someone older, sibling/ cousin / friend with older siblings possibly TV.

When I was teaching secondary and directed students to get up and get a ruler when they needed it if they didn't have their own it wasn't unusual for them to say "ugh kill me now", "I don't want to be here, I'm going to kill myself" and similarly shocking statements, they had no idea of the depth and significance of what they said, how upsetting it was to hear. So I wouldn't be surprised if your daughter has picked up dramatic statements if around other children, even older ones in the playground.

Thank you everyone for your kind comments

We've just had half term, and a chilled few days together, she's so much happier.

Thank you for helping me through a rough patch x

Look, kids say all sorts of nonsense. It's great that we are more aware nowadays re mental health etc. but it can go too far. Of course a kid will say she misses the old house and such. But I guarantee in about a week she won't even really remember it at that age: all will be fine.

That's great to hear!

Sounds like you're over the worst already.

Your DD will be looking forward to Christmas soon and when the house is all ready for Christmas and Santa knows where to find her, she'll be fine 😀