DD won’t keep her hair up

[Argesrt]

DD is 4. By the time she was 1 she already had quite a lot of hair so she’s used to having her hair done.

But she just won’t keep it in! She asks for plaits and I spend time doing them. Within half an hour she’s pulled it all out. Then she‘ll ask me to do it again and I‘ll refuse, unless we are out and she looks unkempt.

Her hair is halfway down her back and quite wavy. It doesn’t take long for it to look a complete mess if it’s not tied back.

I spent ages doing her hair on her birthday, she was do pleased with it. Ten minutes later all the hairbands were on the floor.

I really thought she would have grown out of this by now. Do I need to cut her hair short? Or will she finally start to leave her hair alone??

Short hair definitely. Lots of cute ways to cut it- like a classic bob with a fringe so she can still have bunches/ribbons if she feels like it but it doesn't take ages to put in, and also looks fine without anything.

Her heads probably sore or irritated from the tightness of her braids can you do a low pony tail or braid .or invest in some fabric head bands to keep it off her face .

Are you braiding her hair too tightly? My mother used to do this and it was so uncomfortable.

Has she said why she does it?

Is it uncomfortable
Are the plaits too tight/too loose (I hated loose plaits!)
Are the hair bands big enough to take a weight of hair or do they just fall out
Does she just love the process of you doing her hair

Have you asked her why she keeps doing that?
I'm guessing either too tight as pp have said or she enjoys the interaction with you of having her hair done.

My DD is 7 and takes her hair out very quickly, even if she has chosen an elaborate up do - says she just wanted to see what it looked like. She wants it long and just says she likes it down more, could your DD be like this? The moment she leaves school it is out of the pony tail.

I'd give it a good trim, doesn't need to be short particularly, but take some weight out of it.

Tie it back with a loose ponytail or plait. She probably likes the way it looks when it's in plaits etc, but it's too uncomfortable to keep in. Teach her now that being comfortable is far more important than how you look.

Also, a pony tail takes 30 seconds so much quicker to redo.

Are there school rules expecting her to keep her hair up? Ours does but I see lots of girls with their hair down outside of school and from other schools. I would just let her wear it down, no one will care if she looks messy, I'm sure most 4 year olds are.

I don’t think I‘m plaiting it too tight, I‘ve asked if it hurts and she says no.

When I ask her why she’s taken it out, she says she wants to look like her cousin, who is 9 and she adores (and always wears her long hair down). However her cousin has very fine, poker straight hair.

She will be starting school next year so that’s luckily not an issue yet

Try a looser and lower ponytail. High pony tails might feel too heavy if her hair is thick and long. Also scraped back ballerina type buns can feel really uncomfortable too. Maybe you could have her hair cut, but nothing as drastic as a bob.

Try next time she asks for plaits saying no. No, do you remember that you always take them out? I'm not doing them if you are going to change your mind again.

See if she says she wants them and if she stops taking them out and if she doesn't and her hair is unmanageable then yes it would be a good idea to cut it into a bob for now
She can always grow it later when she can better manage it.

I'm the opposite. Can't wear my hair down for long! Nothing to do with anything that I can think of, but if I don't take a hair tie with me when my hair is down I'm then trying to twist it into ways to keep it up. Don't think a short cut would suit.me though.
Maybe she just prefers it.

If she likes it down get her a head band so it's away from her face. My dds had wavy hair and it never looked "tidy" as in poker straight it's just something you have to deal with ime a bob was a nightmare to maintain so I just kept their hair long .

Don’t cut it ! If she wants to look like her long haired cousin you’ll have a major tantrum on your hands. Alice bands any good? If she’s not at school/ nursery .

Have you tried invisibobble type hair bands. My DD was the same and these have really helped for some reason maybe because they seem to take the weight off the ponytail and she has a lot of hair. The only hairstyle she will tolerate is a ponytail with an invisibobble (kids version). The alice bands she likes because she chooses ones with animal ears, unicorns etc.

I hate to say this but I'm 35 and haven't outgrown this yet. At least it is just my time I'm wasting!

For me touching and having my hair brushed is soothing. When I was a small child I went to sleep every time my hair was brushed like some Disney princess

Thanks for all the suggestions!

She cried when I mentioned getting her hair cut short. It would probably still look out of control anyway, it’s just the type of hair (and lifestyle 😆) she has.

I‘ve tried using hair bands or clips to at least keep it out of her face but she takes those out too.

I‘ll give the invisibobble a try, and lower pony tails- I often tie her hair high, which probably is heavy because she has so much of it!

Hairband seems the most obvious solution.

Use those thin plastic buobbles that are clear. They don't come out.
I used to have to cut them out.

My 9 year old is the same. I put it up only for P.E day. She's pulled it out before school, she hates her hair up so we keep it pretty short now

We put children’s hair up at school if they come in with it down. We have a supply of hair bands.😀