DD's nickname for her black doll

[Luhou]

No offence intended by this post. Looking to educate myself on how best to teach my 3 year old about this topic.

My DD has a black doll, it's one of her favourite dollies. Without any infulence from anybody she has deciced to call it "chocolate". I feel like this isn't really appropriate but I am struggling to find the words to explain this to my three year old.

Any ideas on how best to explain this? We have had general discussions about different people having different skin colours but everybody being the same.

Just incase it's relevant she's just three not nearly four but generally has a good understanding of things.

No. We don’t.

No one is going to judge a 3 yr old for saying something inadvertently racist. 3 year olds say all sorts of stupid shit and are still of the age where it’s ok because they are ACTUALLY still learning. Unlike their parents who should correct them. Because it’s part of parenting.

I don't think a barely three year old will understand the nuances, or really even the basics of this. As other posters have said, there are so many counter-examples that you can't give her a concrete rule. And three year olds are very concrete.

I would go with just suggesting that Chocolate isn't a real name, and encouraging something else. She'll accept it and forget about it.

Isn't there something important here about how a barely 3 year old's brain is developing? In psychology I think it's an area called 'representation' and has to do with processing visual information and language and stuff, and getting to grips with categorisation. You can tell her not to think of chocolate when she sees a brown-skinned doll, or for that matter a person, but until her brain develops more discernment she won't really get it. In maybe a year or so it'll join up with subtler processes of identification and social development and (depending on distinctions she learns as a result of the quality of her environment, ie. not racist) she'll really start to understand. But right now, she gets why a blond child might be called goldilocks, a blue dog might be called bluey, a white boy was called the milky bar kid, etc. That's where her just over 24 months old growing, plastic brain is at 🤷‍♂️

Nicknames like that aren't at all uncommon among kids in places where being white or pale is unusual.

I have a memory of my daughter at about 3, on a bus, seeing a young black woman and saying something like’ that lady’s chocolate’. I was horrified but Before I had a chance to say anything the woman in question said ‘I sure am, honey’ with such relish and a big smile. She and I made eye contact, shared a laugh and I immediately got over myself.

I suspect this 3yo hasn’t come up with ‘chocolate’ herself either.

Children don’t equate skin colour with food.