When did you stop feeding on demand?

[secondtimemumma]

Just wondering when people stopped feeding their baby on demand and started shifting towards more of a routine? Did your baby naturally do this or did you push a routine?
I’m still breastfeeding on demand my 9 month old and up every hour of the night so think this might be where I’m going wrong!

Following with interest! I’m in the same boat with my almost 9 month old. Still fed “on demand” which for us means I feed her during the day between solids or when she’s fussy and at night it’s a free-for-all which in the last couple of weeks seems to be 6-8 times a night (ie whenever she stirs I put a boob in her mouth - we co-sleep).

My first only started sleeping through the night when I stopped breastfeeding her but it took about 2 months to get her fully off the boob (granted I took a gentle approach). She was 16 months and if I remember well it involved introducing a bit of routine during the day at first and then gradually pushing back the first feed of the night, which required my husband to do some of the settling as she always expected to be breastfed if I was there.

Interested to see what advice you get. Mine seems to be sleeping worse the older she gets and expecting more frequent feeds so I’m also clearly getting it wrong somewhere. Sending solidarity!

I fed on demand up to 11 months. My Dc was a boob monster and fed so much. I just decided I’d had enough and wanted to switch to two feeds a day (one first thing and one last thing). My Dc was grumpy for about three days MAX. (She was a little grumpy though!) After she accepted on day 2/3 that there was no milk in the day she simply stopped asking for milk in the day from me. My life became so much easier. Couldn’t believe how easy it was!!! She had a cup in the day of milk, and just the two breastfeeds. If I hadn’t taken the plunge she’d have carried on feeding on demand for ages i think as she was a boob monster. No right answer that was just my experience. Also coincideded with her suddenly sleeping through (before I’d been feeding her about 3-4 times at night) or waking just once.

I do wonder if I’ve been too ‘baby led’ and that’s why she’s waking so much for feeds! We were cosleeping for a time but it stopped working as she was getting so excited and crawling around the bed so we couldn’t really do it safely anymore. So instead she is in her own room which is good in some ways but does mean it’s pretty tiring getting out of bed so frequently!
@Aha87 sounds like we are in a similar position with sleep getting worse the older they get!
whenever I send my husband in baby gets so angry as she knows he doesn’t have the milk haha!

Also interestingly I always fed baby to sleep up to eleven months and she simply wouldn’t let us rock to sleep as she protested sooo much. I think because she knew there was mummy’s milk. As soon as I made the firm and clear switch to just the two feeds she also suddenly accepted on day 2/3 that she could be happily and peacefully rocked to sleep in just a few minutes, no protesting. So it just felt like everything clicked after I was firm for 2/3 days. Also it’s nice because I still gave her my breastmilk.

You can’t be too baby led you’ve done an amazing job!!! Meeting a baby’s needs when they’re young is what enables them to grow in confidence.

regardless, there is a right time for all mums to make a switch in implementing a routine that works for both mum and baby. This time is different for everyone. I was 100% baby led too and tearing my hair out at the sleep for ages, but I made the switch to being a bit firmer only when I was comfortable baby was old enough to not feel abandoned/lost her mum. For me that was eleven months. For other mums that may be 24 months. For others it’s six months. I knew my baby was ready as she was being cheeky with the milk and she knew it. Plus she ate solids well. Sounds like you’ve done an amazing job

That’s interesting @JL642 I wonder if that’s just what’s needed to help the night times too. Did you wish you had changed things up sooner or glad you had done feed on demand as long as you did?

Honestly I never did switch to a routine rather than on demand. I timed meals or distracted to avoid too much milk before a meal when weaning but otherwise just went with what she wanted. I did night wean her at 13 months though.

I started doing more of a routine around 3 months once my milk supply was stable, shifted baby to every 4hourly (for the most part)

With all three, I've done it at twelve months so they can have cow's milk instead, and have stopped feeding during the day completely (ie just morning, bedtime, and night feeds). I've then stopped night feeds.

None of it improved sleep sadly! But it's much better being able to share the load once you stop feeding at night as then there's nothing you can do that DH can't do.

No I actually don’t wish I changed things sooner as I feel very proud of myself that I was baby led for so long and everyone complimented how happy my baby was. I genuinely believe I did my uttermost best to meet my baby’s needs while she was small.

The change for me was that at eleven months my baby was displaying “toddler” behaviour at times and I really noticed a switch from her actually not being a proper “baby” anymore, hence me feeling comfortable changing things up. I wouldn’t have felt comfortable when she was a “baby.” At nine months my baby was still a true baby and I felt she needed me and her needs to be met in a baby led way.

As above everyone is different and I don’t believe there is a right way, just sharing my experience. The key for me was the switch to seeing toddler behaviours because I felt she understood things, as opposed to possibly feeling abandoned.

2 years with DD1. I then headed to the spare room and DH was in charge overnight! It took about 6 weeks.

The second year was far harder because I had to juggle work with no sleep.

I think it was around the time that we switched to 2 naps so around 7-8 months. He started sleeping a lot better around the same time but that might have been due to dropping the 3rd nap.

Following with interest as I came on here to ask similar. DD2 has just turned one and my word the nights are not getting any easier. I go back to work next week, we've pretty much stopped daytime feeds apart from one in the morning. But we co-sleep and she still wakes and feeds a lot - every 45 mins-an hour in the evening and overnight I can't even say as it's a blur. I am shattered.

DH has to tried to settle her but she is just distraught. I'd love to know a way forward as it doesn't feel sustainable right now.

Feeding on demand - never stopped - we still snack all day 😂 Breastfeeding on demand, gradually switched daytime feeds to snacks. Night weaned and (stopped breastfeeding) at 12 months because I couldn’t take the 1000 wake ups a night!
Second baby was formula fed and it naturally falls into a routine because they take the same amount at each meal, so I wouldn’t compare the two.

At about 9 months we did a few nights where DH would go in if she woke at night and just give water, and then her night feeds stopped and she started sleeping through. She had dropped down to just one night feed by herself at that point though.

I continued feeding her first thing in the morning and last thing at night until she was over 2 - she stopped by herself, shortly after I became pregnant with DD2. The day time feeds she also dropped by herself as she ate more. I didn't do any day time feeds after about 11 months.

When I got in to a routine with my son I fed him every 2 hours to get his calories in and I'm sorry to say I can't remember when that stopped 😆

He slept through at 11 weeks.

He know only had 1 feed at nearly 19 months

The WHO recommends feeding on demand until age 2, and I did that with both of mine.

I still feed my 14 month on demand, but thankfully he isn't that demanding! During the day he is much more interested in food so I don't tend to BF him that much, it's just more of a comfort/habit thing.

Dd was about 10 months when she stopped feeding in demand. Ds1 was about 2 and half. Ds2 fed on demand until about 3 and a half years old. Fed at night until 4 and a bit. Suited us. No set way or times to do things!

Currently breastfeeding my second. I didn't stop feeding on demand with dc1 really. It just dwindled until he only wanted fed to sleep. He was 3 1/2 when he gave that up. Dc2 is not 1 yet, so it has not even crossed my mind.

Thanks for your responses everyone. I think I will continue feeding on demand in the day time for now but may try and work on spacing things out at night. Sounds like it’s not a given that sleep will improve as a result though!

At night I stopped at 8 months, because like you we were up 12+ times every night. And I don't care what WHO says, it's not healthy for an entire family to not get sleep. Wasn't good for me, who had to care for a tiny person as well as myself: wasn't good for my husband, who has a very physically intense job: wasn't good for the baby's brain development.

Within two weeks of stopping night feeds, he was sleeping through again.

I don't breastfeed any more but my 3 yo is fed on demand.
We prompt at certain times of day, does she want some dinner or oat milk or a snack but she will only eat if she wants it. She asks for food and the majority of the time she gets it then. If I'm in the middle of preparing dinner and that going to be in 15 minutes she will be asked to wait but we don't have set times she eats and drinks.
I breastfed to 10 months on demand, a little routine in that she had a feed before her nap but she didn't get the nap at exactly the same time. She had 3-5 feeds a night. She went on formula at 10 months and we followed the same pattern offering around the pattern of the day but she had oat milk between bottles. She had 2 feeds overnight. This was the only time we limited her feeds as she had the tendency to overfeed at night for comfort (reflux).

I would always ask what they babies routine is not what your routine is. Do judge it by the clock but relative to their day. It makes their behaviour somewhat more predictable but they do still throw curve balls