Is it okay for a school mum that never be in contact with my husband arrange play dates for the kids? even she got both phone numbers?

[Admu]

my husband lately has been receiving text from a school mum, which he never be in contact with (only one time for my daughters playdate) to arrange new playdates.
She has both phone numbers and i don't really get along with her and already discuss with my husband not to have more kids playdates as i not keen with the kid or mother, but he doesnt seem any problem with.

her kid is quite demanding and a little bit bully and my kid became not feel comfortable around anymore, which make me have a foot back on, but my husband do not share the same feeling and keep arrange that without my approval.

AIBU if i feeling quite of betrayed?

It's fine for her to message your husband re. setting up a playdate.

It's not fine for him to organise a playdate without discussing it with your first.

this

But you don’t get to veto play dates any more than he does. You need to discuss it and come to a mutual agreement.

Betrayal is OTT BTW - it’s a bloody play date not an affair.

i already told him that i dont like the influence for her kid on my and i dont like that she only contact him as i am the one who has more interaction with her not my husband that only saw her once.

So she's using him a she's the soft touch?

Does he know that your child doesn't want play dates with this kid? Strange that he's doing something that you and your child don't want.

Maybe the school mum finds communication with your DH easier? Unfortunately she has probably picked upon your dislike of her and, if she thinks the DC get along well, finds it less daunting to text DH.

yes i have the same veto.... but when one part do not agree or not feel confortable should be meet half way.... has he goes to that playdates aswell

It's easier to text your DH because he will help set up a play date, and you won't.
Are they going to a park, or playground for these visits, or to her house?

Playground or her house .... As I do not comfortable with her ... He is the one who goes... But the kids are 8yo....and I don't like the way she parenting and I notice my kid is in a lot of stress after play date

its not about you or your husband, or the mother. Do the kids want to play together it seems they do, so the fact you don’t like the mother is irrelevant.

If your kid come home stressed and complaining that the other was kind of bossy and for a while they didn't get along... They only made up again a couple of months.... They always on and off, as my kid already told that was not into playdate but husband convince to do go

I would be annoyed too OP.

I would find it strange if another mum was contacting my husband. We all know its mainly mums that do this. Your husband should be on your team, esp when dealing with another school mum that you don't have a good relationship with.