I can't parent today and feel awful

[Acb1]

Basically, what the title says. Woke up this morning exhausted, in a stinkin mood and wished I had childcare to have some time to myself. I feel terrible for feeling like this as I adore my DS (who's 3 and a velcro toddler, she doesnt leave my side for a second) and always feel guilty that I'm not with her 4 days out of 7, because I work, but today I just struggled to pull it together to even interact with her. We've done nothing! the TV has been on most of the day and she's been begging for me to play with her and I really, really didn't want to, I just wanted to stay in bed and read my book. Even as I type this, the guilt is setting in. I feel like a shit mum and I have pretty much ingnored her all day because interacting was hard. No idea why I'm even writing this, guess I'm just hoping someone will tell me it'd ok to feel like this so I don't feel so horrible.

When I read your post it reminded me of my off days. I didn't think oh look at how shit this person is. I am usually organised and a bit of a helicopter parent I suppose BUT I've had those "nothing to give" days and it's down to tiredness. I have a lot of respect for single parents. I don't have anyone who can take my DCs off my hands, so I never get a break. I know the feeling. Tomorrow is a new day.

A conversation would be a good starting point.

Mummy is feeling poorly today, so I can't play.

Then set the day up to give you as much opportunity to rest as possible.

Alternate between things a child can do by themselves and things you have to do with them. Let her watch TV/youtube, and play with toys, then you interject with a snack/meal time - music for your child on in the background. Rinse & repeat.

Bathtime with bubbles Cuddles and a lovely story before bed.

Children need to know we aren't automatons and that we may be unwell, tired, busy. We just need to ensure needs are met when we feel like crap.

Food
Cuddles
Variety of stimulation - that they can access on their own.

It is enough.

There are a lot of bugs going around at the moment including covid. It is fine to have one day where you watch tv and laze around.

At least you're a woman, Op. A man coming in saying tgecsame would be absolutely slaughtered.

Just scroll on if you can't be bothered to actually read the thread.

This is not an everyday occurrence. The OP feels bad enough with your unnecessary pile on.

Don't be a dick. Nothing in the OP's post suggests she doesn't like interacting with her child. Why comment when you have nothing useful to add?

Oh piss off

OP your not a bad mother.
Everyone has bad days and despite pp parenting is relentless

One day of telly and being bored won't harm your dd, tomorrow is a new day!

I also think some of these comments are really harsh! I hear you OP. Don't beat yourself up. You'll have days like this - I think most people do! Don't dwell on it; there's nothing to be gained from that.

It's hard being a single parent don't feel bad for not being on top form the odd day.
I used to be in a similar situation and had the odd day where I was ill or just tired.. I'd make up games which involved me not doing much .. hairdressers , drs , spa anything that involves just sitting there .. I did find that if I forced myself out for a walk or to the park helped too.. weirdly made me feel less tired once we got out. Chin up OP it does get easier.

I've had a similar day.

Feeling unwell, cba playing. Luckily DH has taken DD3yrs out to the park/shopping.

However, it's okay to have a day where you do nothing. Kids do not need to be entertained and played with all day long. Yes they need love, stability, nutrition, stimulation - but that looks different for everyone and presumably in childcare that is an element of extra stimulation.

The guilt can set in for me too sometimes but then I remember I'm working full time, studying and it's frigging hard. We do our best.

It's fine. Your DD doesn't know that TV is the Box of Neglect. She probably enjoyed having more screen time than average. I hope you have a better day tomorrow.

You might be coming down with something, don't beat yourself up.

Is it perfect parenting? No.
Is she damaged for life? No.
I assume she was fed, warm and safe
That's enough for today.

Give yourself a break. Early night if you can, start tomorrow afresh.

Do you have family or friends who could take her for a few hours? Can you afford an extra half day at nursery so you get a few hours alone?? Even if it's just short term.

How are you feeling today OP? Hope you got a good night's sleep.

I think some of these comments sound really harsh and I really feel for you OP. You sound completely burnt out which isn't surprising given you are either working or looking after your daughter on your own which it sounds like you are.

I don't think your awful parent rather you're just completely depleted of resources. If you look up parental burnout one factor of this is avoiding interacting with children to preserve energy. There's a few good articles on this if you google and I bought a book called the Mommy Burnout which really helped me.

Is there any way you can take some annual leave while you're DD is in child care to get some time to yourself to recharge? Or are there any friends or family that can help out?

It’s one day OP, cut yourself dime slack. Honestly.

Maybe an indoor picnic with her toys (make a tent) and ‘movie and popcorn’ (if she will sit still long enough).

Get her to help things you need to do - make lunch, sorting the laundry, sweep the floor etc. do some simple arts and crafts.

be kind to yourself - a bit of boredom never hurt anyone.

Did you work four days out of seven or were you not working at that point? Easy to have all that energy for those things if not. Some parents also find that incredibly boring.

Lots of colds going round at the minute!

Oh please excuse me while my eyes roll around in my head. 🙄

Ignore all these comments OP, they are rediculous. You should run down and it's completely fine. Your daughter was fed, clean and cared for and she will be fine having the odd day where it is expected she entertains herself instead of needing you to hand hold all of her activities. She will be fine. Just get the rest you need

Ah we’ve all had days like that, when DH and I both had COVID Dd must have watched 10 hours of TV in one day. I felt horribly guilty but one of us would lie down while the other watched (snoozed) tv with her then switched.

Also just burnout, it’s real, sometimes you just don’t have much in the tank left to give.

Some of these responses are dreadful. Give the OP a break.
sheesh, we all have off days and if your body needed rest, it needed rest!