Nanny hit baby but no proof

[iloveburmese3]

Hi everyone. Awful topic. My 2 and a half year old has claimed that her nanny hit her while I was away. I know she has become scared of her recently (she only started with us 3 weeks ago) and I trust my little girl. She doesn't make stuff up, and I know my guy. Equally I don't want and can't say anything along these accusing ljnes as we don't have cameras. What do I do.

Without proof is hard

But as been 3w you can say not working out

But what happens if your 2yr says the same thing again with next nanny

Assume you have recently gone back to work /changed childcare so dd may miss you and tell some lies as she wants you

Yes trust your gut and if been unhappy get rid

But she may be unhappy as now you aren't looking after her

No one has employment rights for 2 years, other than the Equality Act and HASAWA type stuff. So just do as PP says, tell her it's not working out then say nothing else.

I would have her out the door as soon as if I had a gut instinct that she hit ma wean. No second chance. Hope you find a nice replacement soon, Op.

@iloveburmese3

Golly some weird posts and passive aggressive here.

You put your child's best interests first and foremost.

Allegations aside, your child's behaviour has demonstrated she is afraid of this nanny - ergo it's not working out regardless of any physical abuse.

I'd be wary of making claims you can't substantiate but after such a short period of time and no contract I'd personally terminate services immediately and pay notice if necessary rather than get into a dispute.

You might also consider your position re: references if asked in the future. Unsure of the legalities outside the UK but beware again of giving a bad reference if you can't prove anything you say, so stick to dates of employment/salary and nothing else. The fact any reference is thus limited tells a story in itself.

Sorry you and your DD have experienced this

Unreal indeed

Trust your gut, text the nanny and tell her not to come back. Can your daughter go to nursery instead?

Sod off

Why? OP has stated that her daughter said the Nanny hit her, and then said that her daughter was scared of her. This is a no brainer. Why you think I need to sod off is beyond me?

Ummm, ever heard of 'friendly advice'?

Have you asked the nanny what happened? I know the nanny may not speak the truth, but she might.
If your dd is scared of the nanny, that’s certainty a sign something isn’t as it should be.

People in this thread, take some fucking Xanax, jesus. The spite is unreal. Hope you find a new nanny asap OP x

You are paying 4K a month for a nanny?
BS
I would've fired her as soon as my child complained

Why would you employ a nanny for 4K a month and not draw up a contract? That’s your responsibility!

You're totally unhelpful and just nasty. That's why.

Ok so some clarification needed here. Firstly my daughter told me she was unhappy and scared Thursday PM. I posted this yesterday. I needed some support from non friends just because well that's what Mumsnet is for no? I am in a privileged position of having a nanny yes. I work full time in a high position in fashion and my husband works too. Full time. Thank you so much to the women on here being cool and supportive and the ladies who aren't - get a grip and have more empathy and general kindness.

And update - I fired her this morning and just told her it wasn't working. Without proof i can't really say anything and if I asked her I doubt she would admit it.

I suggest before you leave your baby and toddler with another nanny, you ensure you have CCTV fitted, and make sure you have a watertight contract drawn up. Also, 4K???

What on earth for?

I will always put safeguarding a child first. Apologies if that offends you.

You did what you thought was best for your daughter & that's fine.

im sure your daughter is lovely, but she's 2 & small children don't always report things accurately, it might be THEIR truth, but not an accurate reflection on what happened.

my friend caught her DD as she was at the end of the slide still moving very quickly, I was standing right there,because they were both moving my friend kind of caught her DD's arm and it obviously hurt a bit.

Her DD told anyone who stood still that her Mummy always hurt her, hurt her arm by twisting like this (showing a twisting skin burn I don't know what they're called these days).

her DD wasn't 'lying' is her truth, but it's not THE truth & she was stand off ish with her Mum for the rest of the day, if it had been someone else she'd probably have said she was scared.

I could recount many more examples.

what's done is done this time, but you need to keep it in mind going forward, or you risk going through nannies like water through a sieve then changing schools constantly.

Just ignore the people who always want to pick a fight on here! Its human to seek reassurance. Follow your gut and do whatever is your option to terminate the contract legally. You'll have a gnawing worry with this nanny if you don't.

Sounds like it went ok. I'm sorry that it's not worked out for you and DD.

wonders if it's ok to leave my job, DD, DH & DDog and cone and work for you

Get rid. End of.

Erm

You are the employer

You should have sorted out a contract

You shouldn't have employed her /used her services till contract was signed by you both

I think you needed to make the decision you felt was right, that's what we all do as parents. Children do lie though, even if we don't expect it. It is important to listen to them but also to be aware of this. I've seen children make up all sorts of things just because they don't want to be at nursery/school and think that this is a way to make sure they get to stay home with mum/dad.