Mum shamed by daycare?

[Lorelai007]

My DS just turned 3 last month, and I'm still struggling to potty train him, despite having read books on the subject, encouraging him to sit on the potty, rewarding him with sticker charts etc. He attends daycare during the week, and today his carer posted in the daily communication how we should encourage our kids to put on their coats, since some still struggle to do so.. I feel paranoid that this was aimed at me. My kid can take his coat off no problem, but he still requires a little help putting it on. I don't have a village around me, this is my first and only kid, and I'm feeling a bit lost. I read to my son every day, he is learning two languages since his dad speaks French, and I have no behavioural/developmental concerns, but I still feel mum shamed. Does this parenting lark get easier??

Please don't feel anyone is getting at you. It's so easy to think everyone is having a pop at you - but they're not.

Three years old & not yet mastered potty training is pretty standard, especially for boys. He'll get there when he's ready.

At three they are still learning so much - dressing themselves, cutting up their food, learning their words and how to be social.

Does parenting get any easier - I don't know. each stage brings it's own challenges that's for sure. however one thing does ease and that's being surer of your own parenting.

Please enjoy your little boy as he learns about the world

Don't feel like it was a dig at you! Or anyone.

Honestly, these people will have seen it all. The comment would have been from someone who was trying to think of something new to say and/or thought to point out a particular skill that parents might want to focus on.

Kids of that age are learning all kinds of new skills. If a kid has been focusing on learning to put a coat on perfectly, then there'll be some other skill that's less than perfect! It's just not anything to worry about.

You should be worrying about the basics. Whether there are any issues with height or weight, talking, and so on. This just isn't anything to worry about in any way. Save your energy!

Three is still very little. I have 2 bright teenage boys and they were 3 and 9 months and 3 and 6 months before they were potty trained. I remember being really downheartened about this with the eldest and my lovely friend saying that she was sure he'd manage it before he was a teenager... i really did not get the joke at that stage!

I'm sure that noone was getting at you about the coat. It's just about gentle encouragement at this stage as I imagine getting an entire nursery class into their coats at the same time is fairly challenging.

Honestly, 3 is so little. I’m sure they’re not making a dig at you. Don’t waste this time with your little boy by worrying about his progress, you sound like an amazing mum. And he’s learning two languages. What an amazing gift you’re giving him.

You say you are a first time Mum and that you are getting into the groove of parenting. How great to be getting feedback and tips from your Childcare.
Change your mind set and see them as trying to be informative as to what parents can focus on when encouraging their children to develop skills.
Don't be paranoid. Even if it is aimed at you (which it won't be) it is okay for your child to be behind the average on any skill set. All kids will be above or below an average target but a target is still helpful and something to aim for.
Your kid doesn't have to be the best in their pack to be worthy, loved and a positive contributer to the community and family.
The Childcare place knows that but it needs to post factual and helpful messaging to assist parents.

What PPs said about not worrying….

But also, teach him the ‘montisori flip’ to get his coat on (Google it, it’s impossible to explain). It’s very easy and they love doing it.

*Labradoodlie9

But also, teach him the ‘montisori flip’ to get his coat on (Google it, it’s impossible to explain). It’s very easy and they love doing it

Just looked this up and it's brilliant!