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Original poster

Co-parenting- child not wanting to go

9 replies

mum101023 · 19/10/2023 18:43

Hi lovelys, feeling awful as my nearly 3 year old son has started to hate going to his dads, we had this issue when we first broke up when son was 1 and he would be hysterical crying not wanting to go to his dad which was understandable as his dad really hadn't been the best when we were together but stepped up loads after we broke up, now when he knows it time to go to his dad he's gets all upset saying no daddy's house no, then we we get there he gets all upset covering his eyes saying no refusing to go in and it honestly breaks my heart seeing him so upset,
I make it as positive as I can for him the change over but it just doesn't seem to work... any advice on how to help the situation?
He is a mummy boy and would still be in my belly if he could lol

OP posts:
Felicityinthecity · 19/10/2023 18:47

Be careful you don’t get accused of parental alienation!

forrestgreen · 19/10/2023 18:51

Can dad collect from yours? Might make the transition easier.

HappyAsASandboy · 19/10/2023 18:53

Does your DS go to nursery? Could the "handover" be dad collecting from there, so it isn't a mum-to-dad translation?

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TizerorFizz · 19/10/2023 18:53

At 3, can he articulate why it’s a problem for him? Has daddy a new girlfriend? Has daddy had to tell him off? Could you stay a bit for the handover? Can dad bribe him with treats? Just saying no without a reason sounds like it might be a complicated reason but try and get to the real issue. What does dad think? Are you happy he’s being a good dad?

Also is this arrangement going to work for nursery and school? Sometimes dads need to step back a bit to allow for consistent parenting in the week.

IggyAce · 19/10/2023 18:54

Does he go to nursery? Maybe have dad collect him from there so your not involved in a hand over.

Original poster
mum101023 · 19/10/2023 18:59

TizerorFizz · 19/10/2023 18:53

At 3, can he articulate why it’s a problem for him? Has daddy a new girlfriend? Has daddy had to tell him off? Could you stay a bit for the handover? Can dad bribe him with treats? Just saying no without a reason sounds like it might be a complicated reason but try and get to the real issue. What does dad think? Are you happy he’s being a good dad?

Also is this arrangement going to work for nursery and school? Sometimes dads need to step back a bit to allow for consistent parenting in the week.

He is just recently started speaking a lot more but can't always say what wrong or why he doesn't want to go just gets really upset but I know he is fine once he is at his dads and that he is a good dad, he doesn't go to nursery yet but will soon and dad will do the one drop off and pick up as it falls on his days with son

OP posts:
Original poster
mum101023 · 19/10/2023 19:01

IggyAce · 19/10/2023 18:54

Does he go to nursery? Maybe have dad collect him from there so your not involved in a hand over.

He doesn't yet but will once he is 3 and dad will do a Friday drop off and collection as it falls on days he has son

OP posts:
Original poster
mum101023 · 19/10/2023 19:03

forrestgreen · 19/10/2023 18:51

Can dad collect from yours? Might make the transition easier.

We have already tried that but didn't seem to make much difference just worse

OP posts:
Duttercup · 19/10/2023 19:12

He's only little. Little people cry at transition points. Mine cries and clings going into nursery and being dropped at grandparents for childcare even though I know she's perfectly happy after about 30 seconds. You're doing everything you can, keep it light and positive.

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