3 year old driving me to my limits

[Purringnoises]

We’re in the car and I turn left and he has a screaming tantrum because ‘that way.’

This is constant, tantrums because I haven’t gone ‘that way.’

What the actual heck??

Well how are you reacting?

Oh gosh they're hard work at that age. It sounds like you need a break if it's really getting to you. Can you get some respite? Or a change of scenery at least if that's not possible?

Agree - 3 year olds are hard work!

Could you try doing a game like 'count the number of red cars' to shift his focus onto something else (rather than direction of travel!) ?

Distraction!

"Oh look at that tractor!"
"Ooh are the sheep in the barn or the field today?"
Audiobooks in the car.

Mine has just turned 3 and my god he's a little horror. He's also the sweetest child but the combination of demanding everything and emotional neediness is driving me nuts. I love the quiet easy days where it's just me and the baby.

Does he get upset:

a) because you're not going where he wants to go - eg the park, grandparents' house?
b) because you're not going the route he wants to go - eg turning left rather than right but both routes lead to the park?
c) because you're going somewhere he doesn't want to go?
d) just randomly?

@SalmonWellington I would imagine it's e) because he's 3 and toddlers are wankers about everything

I guess - but it can't do any harm to figure out if there's a reason.

Oh lord I remember those days.. between 3-4 mine was a nightmare about just everything.

It passes, promise!
Mines now 6 and thats a whole new level of parenting! ( but at least the tantrums are few and far between.

Distraction worked on mine ..and if all else fails you aren't a terrible parent if you resort to the kid ipad!

Mine was absolutely horrendous between 3-4 years. Constant tantrums.

He's 9 now and generally a reasonable human being!

Glad to hear they get more reasonable. When he flies into a rage he’s very hard to reach, always has been. It’s just a weird thing about going ‘that way’ - nowhere in particular, he does it round the supermarket too - go THAT way even if it’s the dog food aisle or something and we don’t have a dog!

I think its a control thing. They want to be able to decide and control what they can. Lots of their life is adults making demands on them. I recently made a decision about allowing the ridiculous 'that way!' demands whenever I can. Obviously if we need to do something a certain way or for a certain time then I can't but I let them decide the route round the supermarket, or what clothes they wear, or if they want the blue or green plate. A bit more control allowed has reduced the tantrums a little.

It’s a lack of control. Are you giving him appropriate control in his life eg. Red cup vs blue cup, this outfit or that outfit?

If not, that’s where it will stem from.

He just says no to them all. I know it’s recommended on here but he’s never responded to the ‘two choices’ parenting technique.

That’s ok. Then you pick for him until he gets it. You don’t just give up and stop offering.

OK, well I don’t think it’s anything in particular I’m not doing that’s causing tantrums. It’s a fairly normal developmental stage, and he does get plenty of choices where appropriate but specifically asking him if he wants the red or green cup has never worked, and even if it did I’m not sure it would prevent tantrums!

I also allow the 'that way' demands when I can – we've now reached the point (at 4) where she knows she has to ask in good time, i.e., not when I've already turned the other way, and has to ask, not demand. But if she can manage that, I really don't care if we cross the road at this corner or the next one, go via this street or that one, etc.

I'd also keep going with the choices. Rejecting both or refusing to pick here is met with 'okay, I'm going to count to three, and then I'll pick for you'. And I do. We do allow the 'reasonable request' third option, so if I've offered apple or banana, and she can see there are also satsumas and wants a satsuma instead, that's fine. Wouldn't work with some children, but seems to help smooth things along for us.

Thing is if I go that way he wants to go this way: it honestly isn’t related to particularly wanting to go that way, iyswim!

Put google maps on. DS never argues with her

Some of you must have more reasonable kids than me 🤣