When did you start thinking about baby#2

[bungletru]

when did you all think about try for baby number two?

I have one wonderful 11m old. I know I want a sibling for him. Some days I want to be pregnant again and other days I wonder how I’ll ever love anyone else lol

what was the idea age gap for you?

Im also thinking about the following -
waiting 18 months for my body to completely heal
what age my DS will be to make things easier when having a newborn

i know they say your heart grows - do you really feel this is true?

I have a 3.3yr age gap- imo it worked well as oldest was potty trained, bit more self sufficient, close enough to like and do similar things- but really and truly I look back and think have them as close together as you can physically and financially manage. 2 under 2 might have killed me for a year but would have been better in the long run.

We started trying for Baby Number 2 when our first child was just under two years old. I would have liked a smaller age gap but my husband wasn’t fully on board initially.

Sadly it then took 11 cycles to actually get pregnant so our age gap ended up being 3.5 years.

Thnakfully though the children have always adored each other and absolutely your heart will grow as you watch them develop a sibling relationship. Sometimes my heart feels like it could explode when I see them together because they just love each other so much.

Having a second baby has been a very, very special experience for us as a family. I always knew I wanted a second baby not only for myself but also for a sibling for my first baby, and it’s the best thing we ever did. They are inseparable…..and it’s like they have their own little world. They never stop playing together, laughing together, cuddling etc, watching their sibling relationship evolve and continue to get stronger makes me feel so full of love that it’s ridiculous. It physically aches at times.

Pretty much when he hit 1 was when my mind instantly went to trying for another. I think it was partly the fact he wasn’t a ‘baby’ anymore but looking back he 100% was! We started trying a month or two after his birthday and have ended up with a 2 year gap. I wish I’d maybe waited a few more months as I had a csection and they commented that my scar had really badly stretched inside with the pressure of baby so I don’t think it was very well healed and was at risk of rupturing. Obviously didn’t know that at the time and assumed 15 months would be enough when lots of people have csections much closer together than 2 years!

I found i was so focused on getting pregnant then checking everything was okay etc that it wasn’t until the final month or two that I started to think/worry about loving another little person. It was very different when I was pregnant compared to first time. I felt like I loved him first time round before ever meeting him, because I had no other baby there to love. Second time I obviously cared deeply that everything was okay at scans but I didn’t feel like I actually loved her. I cried at his birth and didn’t cry at hers, which I feel terrible for 🙈 but first time round it was like an explosion of all my love the second I saw him. The next time I’d already done it once and I also had a baby’s image in my head to compare her to so when I saw her I was delighted but didn’t instantly cry the same way.

Im not sure at what point I did decide I loved her but just a few months in it does feel like I’ve always had two. The good thing is a baby is nothing like a toddler, they don’t need the same things, they don’t play with a toddler’s toys etc so there isn’t really anything for them to feel jealous of or you to feel guilty about. My little one used to hate me even holding anyone else’s baby but is not bothered in the slightest about me holding her. He actually tells me to get her if she’s crying.

I felt all sorts of guilt before she was born though, I cried every day in the week before she was born I think 🙈 it was the concept of the last few days of only being his mum then he had to share me with someone 😭 but it’s not like that in reality

I always knew I wanted at least 2, so that wasn't a factor. The pregnancy and birth of my first went ok. Few problems, but nothing traumatic.

I wanted an absolute minimum of 2 & 1/2 years, so we were going to start trying around my birthday (DC1 would have been 22 months) in case a miracle happened. Realistically though, I was expecting it to take longer and needing Clomid due to my PCOS.

Baby rabies hit hard at 17 months, and getting pregnant was all I could think about. I no longer cared about the age gap. I wanted a baby, and I wanted one NOW. I had my implant taken out, started metformin for period regulation, inositol because I heard it helps, and vitamins. I fell pregnant 5 months later, and baby arrived a little over 8 months later. I got my absolute minimum 2 1/2 year gap by one week.

If I had a third, I would want a bigger gap. Around 3 years ideally. There's no baby rabies this time around fortunately, and DC2 is already 19 months. Might be finished.

I wanted about a 2 year gap. Ended up with 22 months which has been great.

Our first took a long time to conceive and I remember the whole process being very depressing.
I stopped breastfeeding our son at 15 months. Stopped the pill and thought it'd take a while. Literally first time we had unprotected sex I got pregnant. I am still in total denial and surprise! This one is due just before my son's 2nd birthday

Started thinking about number 2 when number 1 was about 10 weeks old, but for logistical and financial reasons we still haven't gone for it yet. Thinking to start trying in January, so the smallest age gap we'd have would be just under 2.5y. My hormones have been kicking off for months and if we had a bigger house I'd probably have started 'not trying not preventing' already and just seen how long it took. By the time we hit January I'll be definitely trying, with ovulation sticks etc, so will also be looking to move house next year before a baby arrives.

I sort of had a plan before DC1 was even born. I wanted to start trying after a just over a year because it took us 18 months to conceive first time. DH thought we should just go for it and see what happened as it might take a while. We compromised and started when DC1 was 9-10 months. I had 2 chemicals and then fell pregnant 2 weeks after DC1’s first birthday.

if I’d been younger I’d have waited another year or so. It’s been hard going and chaotic but since DC2 has come along I feel like my family is now complete and I love my wee family bubble.

The risks are lower for both you and the new baby if you have at least 18 months between pregnancies. Interestingly the risks go up again if you leave it more than 4 years but I don't know how they separate out the fact mothers are older if they wait that long and that the interval may be down to fertility issues. I know two mothers with very small age gaps whose second children have been premature including one who was extremely early and has ongoing health issues as a result.

I started to think about another baby when DD1 was 3 but waited till she was 4.5 till we started trying then it took 11 months to conceive. I waited so long as I couldn't cope with a baby and a toddler at the same time emotionally or financially. It has worked out well as they get on and I enjoyed my second maternity leave focussing on the baby whilst DD1 was at school. It is hard to meet both their very different needs with the same activities though so we end up doing separate stuff a lot.

We started ttc for dc2 when dc1 was 2.5. They ended up with a 3.5 yr gap and that's worked out really well. I wanted to be in optimum health for dc2 and leve a decent gap between pgs, and also get back into a fitness and healthy eating regime. I had a lovely mat leave with dc1 and I wanted the same with DC2, with lots of bonding, breastfeeding time, sensory classes and baby swimming.
They get on so well, DC1 was really independent and in nursery when DC2 arrived, and she's never showed any jealousy or rivalry. Life is relatively calm as I'm not being pulled in different directions, and I could supervise DC2 properly during play as DC1 could manage independently, and also have 1:1 time with DC2 during DC1's naps. I could also do extended breastfeeding with both, until nearly 3.5 years.

Well, I never went back on contraception after DS1 was born as it took 2 years to conceive him and we’ve always wanted another so we weren’t careful. We started trying in earnest after I stopped BFing at 10 months PP, but DS is two in a week and still no BFP. I’d have loved a 2 year approx age gap but honestly anything would be such a blessing given I’m started to lose faith!

Didn't really get a chance to think about it; surprise when my 1st was 6m old.
Currently 24w with a 10m old ... it's gonna be hard no doubt, but I think had I actually thought too hard about it I may not of had another (traumatic birth the 1st time)

It was a bit more complicated for us. DD1 was an unexpected addition to our family. DH and I wanted to wait until we had a house and were married before we had DC2. We started TTC the month after we got married but it took a year. There are 6.5 years between DD1 and DD2. I’m now pregnant with DC3 and the gaps will be 10 year and 3.5 year gaps between them all.

6.5 year gap - worked out well because DD1 was older and more independent. She’s a great big sister. Harder due to their very different stages of development and interests. This will be even more of an issue with a 10 year gap.

3.5 year gap - more ‘standard’ and DD2 will have finished potty training by then. She also understands more of what’s going on now and is excited for a new baby. Another bonus is she will be entitled to 30 hours paid childcare by then.

Well I was thinking about it before the first was even conceived as I always knew I wanted two children with a fairly small age gap.

Always planned to start TTC a year after first DC was born, did so and caught first cycle