6 year old bedtime

[morag1234]

We have always put our eldest to bed and stayed with her until she falls asleep. She's now 6 and it's getting ridiculous. She's falling asleep around 9-930.

We have put fairy lights in her room and said she can play or read until she's tired, but that she has to stay in her room.

She's obviously having a massive meltdown now, crying and screaming.

I feel really cruel but I can't think of another way to sort it out. I can't stay in her room until 930 for the rest of my life. I realise I have made a rod for my own back here..am I being cruel or does this sound ok??

Mine used to go to bed at 8pm. I must admit to letting them watch a film as I needed some time off, DH worked way for periods at a time and I needed some me time.

We are in bed around 8-8:30 at 6, she's 7 and much more independent with sleep but was a nightmare and end in our bed a year or two ago if she didn't fall asleep with us.

We managed to separate slowly over a week, sat by the bed, sat in the room, sat in the doorway. Eventually sat out of sight but in voice distance. Sat outside with door closed. Eventually over a week she built that separation and barring a couple of tough nights was good!

And we had very relaxing routines, bath and plenty of book time to get sleepy

Sorry no advice but sending solidarity, currently lying in bed with my nearly 6 year old whilst she falls asleep. She hasn’t fallen asleep on her own for months and months now (or before 8pm!) and I basically have no evening but she says she’s scared on her own. Thinking I need to start waking her up earlier in the morning to see if that helps bring forward bedtime (currently wakes 7.15/30). She’s always been happier going to bed later / getting up later though

But it won't be for the rest of your life. She will grow up and won't need you to be with her. I've found my DD has cycled in and out of needing bedtime company. I don't think it will be forever OP.

We had to do this when DD was four as there would have been no evening left. She did moan about it but the choice was that I would stay for ten minutes and if she wasn’t asleep (she never was!) then she could play/read and then go to sleep herself. It took a couple of weeks but then became the norm and she could settle herself to sleep after playing for a bit. She still potters about now for a while (age 5) and needs telling to turn her light off etc but at least I’m not stuck up there all evening!

It actually went better than expected!

She cried for a little bit but then went to sleep about half an hour earlier than she normally would.

She's upset again tonight and she has always struggled to play alone etc so I don't think she knows what to do with herself.

I do still feel cruel and she was clinging on to me when I left, but I need my own time.

Don’t feel cruel, you are her parent and need to give her boundaries. Kids will always push it to see what they can get away. Once she knows you mean business she will get used to it.

We still do it for our 7 year old and expect to for a while and he still comes through to us every night too.

The 15y old was the same. I can assure you we don't sit with him and haven't for years, he slept in our bed for many years too. He's over 6 foot now and would die of embarrassment I love it when I get the odd cuddle or love you.

No more kids planned, so when it's all done it's done forever :(

DD was never keen to play alone either and was always reliant on us to play but think it has actually made her a bit more independent at it during the day too. She still climbs in with us during the night most nights and I haven’t stopped that but I just wanted some evening to myself. Hope she adapts quickly for you.