Nursery advice for DS1 while on mat. leave with DS2

[coopekid]

Currently expecting DS2 in the next month, due to go on mat. leave next week. DS1 turned 2 in August and has been looked after by grandparents 2 days a week for the past year whilst I went back to work. He has an absolutely fantastic relationship with his grandparents, however very sadly they are unable to continue this (as had been the plan initially) due to fairly sudden health concerns.

Question is, do I find alternative childcare options e.g. part-time nursery to give myself some break during the week/ 1:1 time with baby to catch up on sleep etc/ give DS1 all the social benefits of nursery. OR given there is already so much change going on for DS1 (new sibling/ seeing less of grandparents) do I keep him at home with me and baby full-time? DS1 is a fairly introverted toddler who can take a while to settle in new environments/ with new people so I am anxious about long long it may take him to settle into a nursery setting which would be all new for him. To complicate things further, we are also looking at moving house and out of our area within the next year so DS1 would unlikely stay at nursery for very long.

We have found a local nursery that has a place for DS1 for January 2 days a week which we can just about afford. Very mixed emotions emotions at the moment!

A Bit of nursery could be good at that age. If he's introverted, can you do a very gradual introduction? Could he do 3 mornings or so rather than full days until he gets used to it? That would still give you some time and give him some age appropriate activity/independence without having full days. That reduces any issues with food/naps as well as he can always recover in the afternoon. That wouldn't give you much time, but then you could up to a full day on one dayonce has totally settled and your new little one is old enough to enjoy some groups etc.

Oh, but if possible try to separate the starting at nursery from the birth by at least a month, preferably more. Try to associate with "becoming a big boy" rather than relating to New sibling...

I'd definitely recommend nursery for his age. Just start slowly don't go straight into full days. Just do 2 or 3 mornings a week for now. Mine didn't go til he turned 2 and he gets so much out Of it

I had a very similar situation and my eldest is also quite sensitive and introverted. I started him at nursery 3 days a week when the baby was about 9 weeks old. He took to it really well and loved being with other children. It was very challenging looking after them both on my own for those 9 weeks but I think mostly because my new born had colic. I think it's nice to keep him at home for a bit so he doesn't feel pushed out by the baby.

Nursery for sure

Id definitely recommend nursery for a couple of days a week, ideally at the start of May leave when the worst of the night feeds happen. If you can start settling him in sooner, I would. You need some time to bond with the baby and not entertain a toddler at the same time.

Do you need to move ? Can this be put off? When I was pregnant with my 2nd we were thinking about moving and changing childcare and decided it was all too much for us and our son. We did move but not until our 2nd was a year old. It was the right decision. The last thing you need is trying to arrange a move with a new baby.

I mean people don't tend to make the decision to move lightly. Or they have no choice

But yes I agree with everyone else, nursery is the way forward OP. Maybe wait a few weeks after the baby is born. It'll be good for him if he's introverted. Were you planning on getting him into childcare regardless before school? If so, you're delaying the inevitable really. Maybe do a phased return but looking after a newborn and toddler is hard, so those couple of days a week you get to snuggle and bond with your new baby, and have some one on one time with them.

The way I always look at it, is you had plenty of one on one time with your first little boy, you're just doing the same with the second.

Congratulations and good luck!

I took ds (age 2) out of childcare when I was on Mat leave for ds and we had such a lovely time- I had had quite a tricky start with ds and was quite depressed during mat leave. The time was amazing to get to know this gorgeous funny little boy all the time. I had 9 months off and then they both went to the childminder ds had been with before. I don’t regret it at all but I do appreciate most people keep them in nursery to keep the place for at least some of the time and enjoy 1:1 time with new baby.

Definitely nursery. Plenty of shy kids go.

The way I always look at it, is you had plenty of one on one time with your first little boy, you're just doing the same with the second.

Exactly the way I felt about it. She'd been going since 13 months, and it was the best thing for her. Fwiw, she was also shy and introverted before going (October 2020, so obvious reasons why), and absolutely blossomed socially and with her speech once she got into the toddler room.

Yes sadly we have no choice but to relocate out of the area next year due to DHs work. It is honestly the last thing I want to be thinking about on top of everything else 😂

Nursery. Do it.