3 kids, maybe more?

[Mommagoose]

I’d love to have a big family and have 2 lovely DC but I just don’t feel ‘done’.

to those who have 3+ kids, how is it really? The world and his wife seems to have negative opinions on 3 kids, specifically no one getting on with the middle kid, have you found this to be the case? Is one always left out? Have you had 3 and then went on to have 4? I’m 34 and realistically couldn’t conceive until mid next year anyway (and no one knows how long these things can take)

dh and I are similar age; have a small 4 bed house (ie 2 doubles, 2 singles, all open plan downstairs aside from a wc), earn around 55k each. Don’t care for private school, we have a lot of grammar schools around us and good state schools.

how old are your current DC OP?

5 and nearly 2, one of each :)

Yes, I have three, 16, 14 and 9yo and it's great set-up for our family. Everyone gets on really well. It's a busy and vibrant home, full of warmth. I'm one of three and even, if not especially, as an adult it feels good to be in a larger tribe and I wanted that for my children too.

But, you can keep having four. Three pregnancies is my upper limit, it's exhausting.

I usually stay start the school years before having a 3rd- I love my children (only 2) but I couldn’t do 3 world book days, teach another to read, 3 lots of after school activities (that might financially and mentally kill me off), 3 lots of play dates.

I have friends with 3 kids- never an issue with 1 being left out seemingly, I will say though that any chink in the armour is a lot harder to overcome. Ie. A parent sick, losing an income, family member getting sick- there’s little wriggle room for problems.

Are they all the same or do you have a mix of boy and girl? No one left out?

Yeah, three boys. Obviously with the spread of ages, they don't have the same interests but they are good cheerleaders of each other, if you know what I mean? And they find ways to include each other when they're all about.

I have 3 (girl age 6, boy age almost 4 and girl age almost 2). I love having three kids, they get on well the majority of the time and play nicely together. There is always someone to keep eachother company. I'm one of three and always just felt that three kids was the right number for me.

I have three. No regrets!

We have three, close together.

We have found the opposite to one being left out- if one fancies playing, another may not, but the third is usually up for it!
They're own little gang.

I felt totally done after 3 so it was right for us.

Hard at the beginning though.

Their

I have 7 year old DD and nearly 3yo DR twins. DC4 (another girl) due in 2 weeks. I've just turned 36, so simular to what you'd be aiming for I think.

Not had any issues with anyone being left out - even though the boys are twins it tends to work out as they all sometimes fancy alone time. Bit of juggling at weekends - 7yo doesn't always want to do what her brothers can manage, so quite often I have the boys while DH does something with DD. That's fine, but doesn't leave much time for us as a couple.

Obviously more children means resources are more stretched. Your incomes are good (almost exactly the same as ours I think). Time can be tricky - we don't listen to DD read as often as we used to as evenings are just so busy. Bedtimes canbe tough - you are pepetually outnumbered, which makes it hard if one parent is unavailable or if one of the kids is ill and needs extra attention. It's hard to get a baby sitter for larger numbers of kids.

I have found pregnancy tough this time round. There's not a lot of downtime to recover from sickness and manage tiredness. Got told off by midwife about my blood pressure today and she said I looked exhausted. That's because I am! Twins have had a cold. It's tough being heavily pregnant and getting up 6 times in a night and still having to be on time for school run. I'm also obviously a couple of years older than last time. Don't underestimate that...

Basically I love having a large family. But if you go for it, you need to have your eyes open to the challenges and have enough support in place. Honestly, I couldn't do it if it wasn't for being close to my parents. When the children are illtheir support is completely necessary. There also really isn't anyone else that would be prepared to stop everything and look after 3 children at no notice and for a unknown amount of time when I go into labour!

I love having 3. They do all get along most of the time but due to age gaps two of them will probably be closer for a good few years.

If finances (and DH) would allow I'd definitely have another or possibly 2 more as I really don't feel done and absolutely love having the children round us all the time. I really feel like being a mother is my calling and I don't have high career ambitions which I think helps as I've no desire to work my way up the career ladder.

Money is a stress, Christmas costs a lot even on a budget. There does always seem to be a birthday, school event, kids party etc on the horizon which is obviously expensive and takes a lot of my brain power to stay on top of.

As there's a large age gap between my first 2 its not even as expensive as it could be! Secondary school bus and uniform is extortionate, I wouldn't want to be paying that 3 times over during a bad paycheck.

I am pregnant with my 4th. The older2 love the baby. I would love 6 personally but probably done at 4. I find the world to be negative on kids because of narcissistic media culture. Listen to your heart