Safe activities - wisdom please

[Whattodo93]

I have two DC, who are 13 months apart. DC1 is 2.10 years and DC2 is 20 months.

On their 3 nursery mornings each week, I have a problem with knowing what on earth to do with them in an afternoon. I pick them up at 12:30pm, they come home and nap until about 2pm. They’re slow to wake up and come round, so we watch a bit of CBeebies and have a snack until about 3pm when they get their energy back.

We have tea about 5pm once my husband has got home from work, then we all play together at home until 7pm bathtime. It’s these two hours between 3-5pm that I find so difficult!

For context, I have to be really really selective about where I take them when I’m on my own with them. They’re both complete flight risks and have no sense of sticking close by to me etc. things like museums with multiple rooms and parks that aren’t completely fenced and gated in/are too big to keep an eye on them both properly are not options. They end up going in completely opposite directions and it’s not safe. Just going for a walk doesn’t work either, both hate the pram and fight to get out of it the whole way. Soft play doesn’t work on these afternoons either because they all shut at 4pm, which isn’t worth it by the time we get there. We also only have a small yard rather than a garden. (I sound so negative, sorry! Just feel like I’ve exhausted all options at this point,)

When I’m with them on full days it’s easier because I can take them to play groups and organised activities in the morning. They then nap earlier waking about 1:30pm so we can go to soft play or visit a friend in the afternoons.

Im getting really bored of taking them to the same two safe playgrounds all the time. And they’re getting bored of just staying at home playing between 2pm and bed at 8pm. I try and set activities up for them like tough trays etc. but they hold their attention for about 10 minutes.

Has anyone had a similar age gap and found anything to do that’s safe for them at these ages? Or any activities that suit both of them to do at home?

In a year things will be a lot easier because they’ll both have more awareness of not running away from me, so lather playgrounds and nature walks will be great options. But really struggling at the moment.

Thank you to anyone who can help!

Get yourself some reins for them and visit some new places.

I'd just let them get more used to playing at home. 2-8 pm is only six hours. I have a 2.10 year old and a 14 month old and the older one happily potters about entertaining herself with her toys and the little one happily watches. Obviously DH and/or I are around and do get involved, e.g. helping with building Lego, praising the older one's drawings, reading books, etc.

I couldn't be doing with feeling I had to go out every single day, and after a morning at nursery aren't the kids kinda tired?

@CoalCraft thats really interesting actually. I do wonder if sometimes I project my own boredom onto them. I feel a lot of pressure to be taking them places and doing things with them. But staying in for the afternoon on nursery days would be okay? I don’t really know what other people do with their kids.

@QuestionableMouse thanks, that would be a great idea but unfortunately they both hate them 🤦🏻‍♀️ oldest is smart enough to take them off himself now, and youngest screams and sits down until they’re removed. Very strong willed kids.

Maybe I should persevere though.

Reins are your friend. Try backpack style. Are there any disused railway lines near to you? There is usually only one path in each direction so easy to keep your eyes on both.

Activities at home could be things like obstacle courses in the living room, den building, freezing toys in water and they have to get them out, rice or sand in a tough tray to scoop. Cars down pipes/guttering ramps, or a track taped on the carpet, water painting or chalks in the yard, big cardboard box for hiding in, turn it into a train/boat/treasure chest etc

We enjoy a good supermarket shop. Both contained in the trolley and they take it in turns to spot what you need, cross it off the list etc. Libraries are usually quite well contained near us too.

They can get messy and dirty in your small yard . Whatever the weather. Sand water mud pies . Wellies in the rain.
Bath before dinner

These are all really great idea! Thanks everyone.

I’ve possibly been overthinking this way too much. I’m just worried that staying at home all afternoon won’t tire them out enough before bed.

They can also be tired out with intellectual activities. Things like puzzles, sorting etc can tire them out in another way. I generally only did 1 activity a day when mine were that age, and not necessarily every day. There is nothing wrong with doing more if that's your preference and they are easier to entertain but I wouldn't feel pressure to. I was also a fan of a trip to Sainsburys and a ride in a trolley! Not to do a big shop necessarily but to pick up a few bits.

My 2 at that age used to love ikea.
Also I would give the choice of buggy or reigns. Once they realise they have to have one or the other they were quite happy wearing the back pack style ones (I think it was because they really hated the buggy.

Any playgroups that run in the afternoon? We have just one near us ( most are morning) but it was a godsend.

Any mum friends with similar age kids? Coffee at your / their house while the kids —fight over toys— play together.

They might tolerate the buggy more if there is more going on around them. Try buggy on a bus ride, a shopping centre, supermarket. Snacks also helped my easily bored kids tolerate the buggy.

Do any local parks have a fenced “dog free” area?

Controversial but sack off the lunchtime nap at home, let them cat nap in the buggy or the car 3pm is late to be heading out. Go straight from nursery, give them a packed lunch and a hot tea. Aum to be home by 4/4:30 latest it will soon be starting to get dark and cold by then.

This might also result in an early bedtime. I couldn't stay in from 1pm with 2 toddlers

Afternoon play groups generally run 1/1:30pm - 2:30/3pm to fitaround school hours. Surprised soft play closes at 4.

I’m sure it would be much harder with two little kids but I totally understand not wanting to stay in all day/all afternoon!! My 2 year old is technically fine staying home and playing all day but that involves climbing on anything and everything and emptying out every box/drawer of toys and we haven’t really figured out tidying up yet so it’s not ideal 😂
Some things I do with him at home are painting, biscuit decorating, dancing, watching tv/a movie, playing in the garden when it’s not freezing, long baths for water play (or water play outside in summer) but I do find it easier if we go out and do things like toddler classes, soft play, parks, swimming, play groups ect. but I don’t think I could as much on my own with 2 so would have to wait for dp 🤔 Can you go out with them for a bit when their dad gets home? We often all go swimming in the evening together as it’s a nice family activity 🤗

Don't feel that you have to go out every day. It's good for them to learn to entertain themselves at home, it's a skill that takes time to build up.

Any kind of Mark making activity tends to be a good distraction, and doesn't take big set up like a tray. Mine have all loved the Chubb paint pens (wash off walls very easily, comes straight out of carpets and clothes!). Chalk and blackboard. Whiteboard and pens. Crayons. Magnadoodle. Water painting. By rotating they are still entertained - different one each day, by the next week it is all Great again! Great for gross and fine motor control, hand strength etc.

Puzzles etc are great as well. Intellectually stimulating, and a good way for you to sit and chat with them so they build vocabulary. Peg puzzles are great for younger ones.

It's tough getting out when you havetwo that are flight risk age! My twins want through a very difficult phase in that regard. But remember that just because you find going to the same playground dull it doesnt mean they do. My eldest used to go to our local little one most days at that age. She still chooses to often go when we take her brothers - she's 7 now, but she likes to play with other children that she meets there

Aware that going anywhere with two is overwhelming: could you catch a double decker bus, sit on the top and spot things (other buses, post vans, tractors, trees, people walking their dogs). Go somewhere that’s a 30 minute ride, grab a babychino/have a fun snack, and then 30 minutes back.
How about fish shops at garden centres, we love those! And the Christmas trees have started going up so that’s fun.

For indoor activities we’re into stickers and puzzles in a big way at the moment.

Another thing that might help with the boredom at home is to do toy rotations. I do this (I have a 14 month old and a nearly 3 year old) as I find the toys get played with much better. Just put half the toys away for a couple of weeks, then swap them round. Obviously anything they really love can stay out all the time!

I would, if you can get them to work you'll have so much more freedom. My littlest nephew hated them too, but we distracted him and he always forget about them.

Honestly don't stress as much about going out, too! I can remember my nephews happily playing with a cardboard box and a bunch of crayons and stickers! Kept them entertained for ages!

Long daytime bath with different toys like duplo, or disco bath with lights off and glowsticks. Then just ditch evening bath and do extra book or two, my two love this and we regularly do it on non nursery days. Sometimes I’ll clean bathroom at same time, winner!