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Original poster

Social services help!

25 replies

1afteranother · 17/10/2023 01:59

Hi everyone!
I'll try and keep this short.. so someone me and my partner have had a falling out with has made a malicious claim to SS against my partner which has resulted in SS turning up at my child's school interviewing me and both my children! Out of nowhere it was totally unexpected. I have never had any dealings with SS ever so I was a mess.
Anyway it resulted in the SS telling me that my partner wasn't allowed unsupervised with my children and had to sleep elsewhere (which broke my youngests heart) this is has absolutely destroyed us as a family!

Anyway my question is how long after that initial first meeting do you hear from SS again? They came out on the 2nd of October so over 2 weeks ago! I have no contact info for them and have no idea what's going on. My partner has had to move out, my children are traumatised by this and I'm not coping at all.

Can someone please give me some advice!

OP posts:
Drizzlydrizzle12 · 17/10/2023 02:32

What reason did SS give for him having supervised contact and having to move out? I'd be more worried about that!

Whiskeypowers · 17/10/2023 02:45

Drizzlydrizzle12 · 17/10/2023 02:32

What reason did SS give for him having supervised contact and having to move out? I'd be more worried about that!

This.

are they his kids?

Raisinnola · 17/10/2023 02:48

Sorry I can’t be more help re the process but it doesn’t exactly sound like a malicious report if SS have decided that he’s not allowed unsupervised access with the children?
i work closely with SS and see first hand the awful situations they deal with and am constantly surprised by how much people are able to get away with, so it’s not like they make these decisions on a whim.

What is the reason they have given for this? It’s difficult to give advice as you’ve given no info in your post but my gut feeling (and maybe I’m wrong) is that you need to face up to whatever is going on as there is clearly way more to this than you’re letting on.

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General parenting
Brokenperson · 17/10/2023 05:30

This situation might be temporary while SS investigate. Sorry to hear about your situation.

Bobtheamazinggingerdog · 17/10/2023 05:50

I don't think it's very likely this is malicious if they have taken the step of recommending he moves out and has no unsupervised contact!
Is there a police investigation ongoing?
They will need to come again within 4 weeks if the first visit at the very least. They should set out what they are planning to do to assess the risk.

EmmaGrundyForPM · 17/10/2023 05:52

Why have they said your partner can't have unsupervised access?

This doesn't sound like a malicious report.

anareen · 17/10/2023 05:55

Not sure when they will need to make contact with you again but if I were you I would try to set aside your feelings and look at the facts of the situation regarding your children's best interest. Social services would not find reason for your partner to move out if it werent necessary to the well being of your children. If they find that you cannot be relied upon to put their best interest first then they will be removed from you as well.

Doesn't seem that the claim from this outside party was "malicious".

PivotPivotmakingmargaritas · 17/10/2023 06:42

If I were you I would be following up with SS urgently. SS don’t usually suggest supervised contact and moving out on a whim. As a mum you should be questioning why they have said this …. Hopefully for you it’s nothing but for the protection of your kids you need to follow up with SS yourself

ThePoshUns · 17/10/2023 06:49

Have you been told that this a s47 investigation? If so they have 28 days to make an assessment.
However if your partner has been told to leave then there must be a genuine concern rather than a malicious one.

ConnieTucker · 17/10/2023 06:52

Are they his children? You said ‘my kids.’

is there any truth in the accusations?

Pipsquiggle · 17/10/2023 06:55

You need to know why SS have intervened.

First thought is that he's on the sex offenders register.

Second thought is that someone has seen him do something which might harm you DC.

OP please find out.

Princesspollyyy · 17/10/2023 06:56

You say you don't have any contact info for SS, just to go your local council website. It will be under children's services.

Gingerkittykat · 17/10/2023 06:56

Who made the malicious allegation?

What did they accuse your partner of doing?

ConnieTucker · 17/10/2023 07:00

They are not his children and he has been told leave the house. Your focus should be on your children.

Theunamedcat · 17/10/2023 07:01

What malicious complaint did he make? Sounds like they think he is abusive and have advised you accordingly, is there a police investigation or anything?

happylittlesloth · 17/10/2023 07:03

My partner has had to move out, my children are traumatised by this and I'm not coping at all. my advice would be to focus on your kids. How long has your partner been in their life? Are you not worried about WHY they've made him move out?

Onlywords · 17/10/2023 07:05

Just google children social services and the name of your local council. The phone number will be easy to find.

SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 17/10/2023 07:06

@1afteranother how long have you know him and are they his DC?

I would focus on the DC. Do they have access to consoles and phones? I'd check that he's not messaging them.

Totally agree that your main focus should be in protecting your DC and their recovery.

JauntyRedShoes · 17/10/2023 07:16

Focus on your children and follow the directions given by the social worker. It is very important that you do this and demonstrate willingness and capacity to put your children and their safety first. Call children’s services and ask for an update. Men aren’t asked to move out and have supervised contact only on a whim and a fancy. He is an adult and capable of looking after himself. In my experience as a social worker your cooperation is vital as is taking the concerns seriously. How long has he been involved in your life?

QueenofTerrasen · 17/10/2023 07:25

Raisinnola · 17/10/2023 02:48

Sorry I can’t be more help re the process but it doesn’t exactly sound like a malicious report if SS have decided that he’s not allowed unsupervised access with the children?
i work closely with SS and see first hand the awful situations they deal with and am constantly surprised by how much people are able to get away with, so it’s not like they make these decisions on a whim.

What is the reason they have given for this? It’s difficult to give advice as you’ve given no info in your post but my gut feeling (and maybe I’m wrong) is that you need to face up to whatever is going on as there is clearly way more to this than you’re letting on.

This

SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 17/10/2023 07:28

And can I ask who it was that you fell out with and what was the argument over?

Startingagainandagain · 17/10/2023 07:35

How do yo know who reported your partner? social services don't usually share information like that.

Are you sure this is not your partner trying to find a reason to minimise the concerns and convince you they are not real? For example by claiming that the allegations were made by a spiteful ex?

SS have to put your kids first and investigate. They would also not have done anything if they did not believe that there might be some issues at home.

It might be that the person who reported your partner in fact has had a bad experience with him and is worried for your children.

I would put the welfare of your kids first and keep collaborating with SS and listen to what they have to say. They might have access to information about your partner that you are not aware of.

Beautiful3 · 17/10/2023 07:46

They would have had a good reason to say that. Ss get numerous malicious calls daily, they usually close the case when there's nothing wrong. So for them to say this, there has to be an element of risk to your children. Focus on your children, they are more important. Find out why, next time you see ss.

overdogged · 17/10/2023 07:59

You could also be proactive and ask the police about a Claire's law disclosure, then you'll know what risk he may pose and make a decision about your future. But do please put your children first.

SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 17/10/2023 15:32

How are you and the DC getting on today @1afteranother?

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