Toddler stopping naps - but still needing them!

[AlicethroughtheSpookingGlass]

Our two and a half year old DS has always been a pretty good sleeper, and he's very very active - he just never stops moving - so he's generally needed a lot of sleep. He's at nursery full time and previously would sleeps for at least an hour and half there and would often nap for two hours, or more, when off with us.

But for the past two weeks he's suddenly started refusing to nap at all when he's at home. If we try and put him to bed for a nap he just protests before shouting and crying for us. We try and calm him down but he just gets more and more upset and more awake. I know some toddlers do drop naps at this stage - but he definitely needs the sleep! He looks exhausted most of the time now and he's so emotional, poor thing, and is having a lot of tantrums having not really tantrumed much before.

On Saturday he did fall asleep at about half five in the buggy for about 20 mins but we tried a long walk on Sunday in the buggy and no luck. I really don't want him to stop napping, a short one would be totally fine, and he is sleeping at nursery still but I think he definitely needs more rest than he's now getting. Has anyone else had something similar and did they go back to sleeping at all?

Following with interest as we're in a very similar boat. Except my 2.5 year old is an awful sleeper and cutting the nap does seem to be helping with that bit at least. But she's like a walking zombie by 5pm and much more emotional overall. Feel so bad for her as she's evidently exhausted!! But at the same time so am I as the little blighter is up 3x a night 😅

I do remember with my oldest that there was a period of transition when dropping the last nap. Some days he'd have one, some he wouldn't. Took a few months for it to go completely. He was a year older though so I was more ready for it. But may just be a matter of going with the flow and accepting he might nap at nursery but not home, or may have a short nap some days and others not at all.

When my son stopped napping, we had quiet time instead. Just sat quietly, read some stories, had a chat. He also went to bed earlier in the in between stage too.
How much sleep does he have at night?

I’d second quiet time. Particularly if he’s very active the rest of the time. Will give him a chance to recharge and he might just drop off occasionally.

He sleeps from about 7:45-8 usually till about 7 in the morning. And he sleeps all night through so we know we're very lucky. I think if he'd just dropped the length I wouldn't worry, but to go from a long nap to none at all seems such a big switch esp when he's at nursery full time and just moved into a busier room there (which I guess might have fuelled it, now he's in with kids who don't need to nap) so needs to recharge.

Annoyingly he's such a busy little thing that any attempt to do quiet time is a total failure! All he wants to do is climb and bounce around if we're at home. He does love books and building Duplo but he just can't sit still for more than 2 minutes.

I used to cheat and pop ds in the car for a drive when he was really cranky at this stage, sometimes just a power nap would help 🙂

I think if we had a car I'd consider it!

Oh!! Bother!!!

Push chair?

I used to sit on the sofa reading stories in quiet time, we’d both fall asleep!

I have a 21 month old who doesn't need any nap if he sleeps 12 hours. He is very active and just doesn't need the sleep. So I shifted things and now hd sleeps for 10 hours and has a 1 hour nap. I think I'd rather the 12hr night though so I might re-shift it.

I think if he's not napping then he doesn't need it. It is a gradual thing though and it takes a while for them to get used to. I remember the falling asleep at teatime phase! Agree that can be alleviated by quiet time so at least you can get some food down him and he doesn't get too cranky.

They tend to have naps at nursery for some time after they stop at home - nurseries are set up that way, all the kids are napping etc. I guess it's similar to if you see a person yawning you yawn yourself.

Wait I have just re-read the post. So 11 hours of night time sleep and 3.5hours of day sleep in total??? That sounds like a lot, if he is dropping it I'm sure it's fine.

This is basically my son too. He suddenly dropped his last nap but still very much needed it. It's taken a couple of months but we've just had to ride it out and now he seems to cope ok without it.

I'd try and put him to bed at least an hour earlier on days he doesn't nap and see if he catches up that way.

Does he watch TV? The other option would be put a movie on and hope he nods off on the sofa.

OP my son is 2.5 too, very active, at nursery and is dropping his nap too. We just make bedtime earlier now to compensate for how much more tired he is, and it's working really well. So previous bedtime was 7:30, now its 6:30 (easier now it's dark sooner too). It's just developmentally normal at this age, and forcing the nap can stress and tire him and you out more than it's worth. Quiet time or a calm walk in the buggy is a good alternative so he's not running around 24/7?

How do you find the earlier bedtime? He's started protesting his bed time too as part of this sudden shift so I worry that an early bedtime wouldn't necessarily mean any more sleep but it's something we have considered. We do aim for 7 on the non nap days off with us now.

@ChickenNugget6 not quite that much, on non nursery days it would be up to 2 hrs day sleep, less at nursery. He is insanely busy so everyone (us, nursery) just concluded he needed more sleep as he never stops moving when he's awake. He pings out of his cot bed in the morning and then it's non stop chatter and moving!

I am always surprised at mumsnetters talking about toddler naps. It seems to be quite common. My children didn't nap after about 9 months, and didn't sleep through the night until about 4 years. But nor did my siblings. I guess some babies in some families just sleep an awful lot more

I found that DS only needed a nap every third day or so, sadly for me those days were always his nursery days. You just have to power on through, once you're over the grumpy stage it's fine.

@NuffSaidSam we usually only watch a little bit of tv at the end of the day at the weekends but I think you might be right. It's about the only time he does sit still (while still asking me seven hundred questions about what's happening.)

@lesserspotted I'm sure it does massively vary. There are other kids in his room who haven't been napping for a while but I know I certainly need a fair amount of sleep as I'm quite a twitchy person and I think he's the same. And a well rested DS always meant a very cheery one!

We used to have quiet time with DD. I'd give her warm milk on the sofa and put on a movie or calm TV. I wouldn't talk to her much, just let her lie down on the sofa and zone out in her movie but I'd still sit with her. She would be really calm and tired but after about 45 mins to an hour she's be fresh from the rest and it would be as if she had a nap. She wanted to be left alone so not really actively watching with her and chatting as we do normally. And she'd go to bed a bit earlier. Quiet time saved us!

Following with interest.

I've another question if anyone's able to ask.

DS aged 23 months is waking up in the middle of the night crying and screaming and won't settle, even in my bed. Can take upto an hour or so for him to finally settle himself and sleep. Till then, he'll just cry, bounce on me or try and run around..

Not sure what to do and I'm so tired 🥴

On the days he doesn't nap, is it worth pulling bedtime forward an hour? Then he is still getting the extra sleep, just tagged onto his main sleep.