How can I tell another mum, that dd doesn't want her dd to go to her birthday party.

[piratecat]

Both d's are coming up now for 6. I have known the mum fir a long time, altho we did fall out and had no contact for sometime.

Yet we became friends again together and things have been ok.

Yet my dd has been saying that she and the other little girl don't really get on as well as they did. They just don't play together anymore and are sep classes.

I suppose I just have to be honest but how to even start the convo, as she knows when dd's b day is and will obv be asking what we might be doing for it. I guess i should leave it completelly for now and see if things change between them? Birthday is about a month off.

I don't see why you have to say anything.

just dont invite.

I wouldn't say anything, just don't invite her.

and if she pushes about an invitation just say "I've kept it small to just girls in her class" and don't crumple under pressure! Is she likely to ask though?

no I see what you mean, the other family will be expecting an invitation and will feel hurt / offended

erm I think there is no way to do this without upsetting them

why don't you just ask her? your dd isn't saying she doesn't like the girl, is she, just that they don't play so much

Ah, I am in a similar position. I am friendly with another mum who my ds used to play with lots, now they don't and ds is adamant this boy will not be invited to his party.

But, I like the mum, don't want to offend her and he will be invited. These kids are 6, we pay for the party and I will over rule my ds

mind you we did NOT get an invitation to a party this year from someone ds used to play with regularly

we both knew why we hadn't been invited this time and it was not a big deal

I think I would be tempted to invite her if it was me.

tbh would prob just invite them, is there a reason why not?

well i do feel i wouldneed to say something to explain the lack of an invite, as I suspcet the mum would be wondering why?

We speak everyday, at school, and its a very little community.

its tricky, yet these girls can be quite fickle, so I will just see how its going nearer the time. Glad I am not the only one having these isues!

God if someone decides they don't want to invite ds2or ds3 I'd rather they just didn't invite them rather than go into some explanation. It wouldn't upset me either way I just don't have the energy to get involved in 6 year old realtionships, and if it was because the child didn't like mine I would hardly tell mine that, I'd just say they didn't have enough space and it was someone else's turn blah blah.

It's usually fairly obvious anyway. I wouldn't spend age wondering I'd just be relieved that it was one less present to buy.

If she's the only girl that's going to be left out then I'd say invite her. Otherwise just don't invite her and don't say anything.

I'd invite them. Parties shouldn't be a cause of bad feelig.

but piratecat what is the reason you aren't inviting them? we are confused

do agree that if not inviting is going to be that problematic then inviting would be far easier.

do agree that if not inviting is going to be that problematic then inviting would be far easier.

I know that your dd doesn't want ther at the party but in this situation I really would just invite and they can get on with it. The pain of your DD having her at the party is outweighed by the pain it could cause this little girl if you don;t invite her.

I think that it is your DD's party and up to her to decide who she invites to it. You cannot overrule her wishes on who she wants to be friends with.
I feel this just stores up problems for later.
IF it comes up in conversation with the other mother a simple'you know what girls are like ' or 'we are keeping it small this year' type comment will be enough.

Sorry, the main reason seems to be that they have been arguing alot, and that they have little to do with each other at school.

Unfortunatley the other girls mum doesn't seem aware of this, so I suppose it will come as a surprise to her if there is no invite.

dd is my only kiddy so I am new to all this playground stuff. This little girl was invitedlast year, it was a quiet back garden type thing, as I am o my own with dd and strapped for cash.

My dd has alot of sad stuf in her life atm, well its ongoing with her dad, and as she is normally freinds with most kids, in our small school, this has surprised me.

How many children are you inviting?

only 6-8.
including a toddler and his brother who is a good friend of dd's.
2 girls from dd's class who she likes the most,
one girl who is dd's best friend who is h educated,
and the two girls who live behind us.

i have to keep it small, and its ok generally not to do the whole class thing.

I just soke to dd again, and she saidn, but its my party mummy and I don't want her to come this yr.!

How many girls in the class?

I wouldn't invite her and tell the mum that you are just having a small tea party.

Actually, I think you are probably fussing over it too much. Either don't invite or if you think that is too hurtful explain to your dd that the child will be hurt and that's unkind and there must be an invite.

You have no problem with the numbers you are inviting - if she asks for an explanation say only 2 kids could come from school and of course she wanted her best friends. I have had this for past few years (dd is 9) and i have always invited girls my dd doesn't play with but i am friendly with their moms - this year my dd questioned why, and i also noticed, as it was a smaller party than usual, that the extra girl i invited didn't get involved at all. So unfair to all really. It would be different if you were inviting half the class so stick to your guns

i have these angel/affirmarion cards and i just picked one, the card i picked was 'honesty', it made me laugh really!

I guess becuase me and this mum had a major falling out once, and i am tbh sometimes a bit apprehensive of her, she gets quite short sometimes, that this is why I am worrying, maybe unneccesarily.

best be strong and just see what happens.