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Original poster

3.5 week old always crying

52 replies

Cubi23 · 16/10/2023 12:42

Hi,
My 3 and a half week old always seems to be unsettled. He cries nearly constantly when awake and has been like this for around 2 weeks. He is formula fed and due to suspected reflux (my opinion) I changed his formula to an anti reflux one. Whilst this has helped with reduced spit up of milk, he is still very unsettled during and after feeds. He gets hiccups, arches his back and is difficult to wind. He generally seems uncomfortable/in pain a lot occurs time. He takes between 2.5 and 3.5 oz roughly every 2- 3 hours but sometimes acts hungry sooner than this, but will often only take 1oz if I feed him sooner. I've tried to hold off for longer so he takes more but he just screams so I'm not sure if this is due to genuine hunger or its a comfort thing. He has plenty of wet nappies but recently is only doing a poo every other day or every 2 days. He seems constipated as he strains and goes red in the face often. He is passing wind from that end but isn't doing a poo often. However when he does go, it is a normal consistency and not hard, so not sure if he is actually constipated?
I've tried infacol but it doesn't work, I've given cool boiled water between feeds, rubbed his tummy, ivrn warm baths, bicycle legs etc but nothing seems to settle him. He won't sleep unless he's held and if I put him down he wakes almost instantly, so I've ended up co sleeping which soothes him slightly and I manage to atleast get a little sleep. It's is not what I wanted to do but I have a toddler who needs sleep and is being disturbed by baby crying all night with me trying to lay him in his moses basket.
I know I'm only a few weeks in but I'm struggling with seeing my baby clearly distressed and I don't know what to do. My GP and HV said its probably colic and he will grow ouf of it, but surely this isn't right and he's clearly unhappy. I'm not sure if this is colic, reflux, milk intolerance or if he's just a fussy baby. Mum instinct tells me something isn't right though! I know babies cry, but this is excessive and he always seems uncomfortable. Has anyone experienced similar and did anything help? X

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Goudanuff · 16/10/2023 15:46

My friends little one was like this and has CMPA - needed all dairy cutting from diet so needed prescription milk. Id make a menace of yourself at the doctors until they explore further as no reason a little baby should be constantly sad when there are options unexplored!!! Hope you get sorted! x

Thelazygardener · 16/10/2023 17:26

Aww bless you, I’ve just come out of the other side of something very similar. My LO had to move to formula at 3 weeks old because I couldn’t get a supply. He’s now 15 weeks.

he was really sicky so I used anti reflux milk and he was the same. Griping constantly, legs in the air grunting and groaning constantly. Distended belly and really bad trouble passing wind

Turns out my LO was sensitive to lactose (found out through trial and error). We came off aptamil reflux milk to regular hipp organic - still windy and upset. Went to hipp comfort with broken down lactose and we still had him fighting the bottle and struggling but a bit better. I finally tried lactose free and he is like a different boy….still trapped wind though in the nights until I sussed out the final part of the puzzle….how are you preparing formula? I was using the perfect prep machine, saw lots online about to introducing micro bubbles into the milk so I started making formula the regular way and my LO slept peacefully for the first night since he has been born and now takes 7oz a feed instead of struggling to take 4.

i didn’t bother asking the gp before switching milk. They had been pretty dismissive every time I contacted them, bordering rude and I figured all they would do is trial lactose free anyway.

i hope you find a solution I know how frustrating and upsetting it can be having a baby not getting on with formula.

TinyTeacher · 16/10/2023 18:17

As babies can't communicate a lot is trial and error....

Does he take a dummy? Some babies need to suck a lot, and as bottle feeding is so fast compared to breast feeding they dont get the comfort aspect.

Or you could try different formulas e.g. reduced lactose/no lactose and see if there is any improvement.

GP is not likely to recommend much just on the basis of crying in afraid.

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pinguins · 16/10/2023 18:32

We had this with DC1 it turned out to be CMPA. It was 12 weeks of horror before we got the GP to take it seriously on the third visit (with a long list of symptoms), by which time the damage was done and I had PND, which meant instead of costing them some Carobel and some CMPA milk, it also cost them extensive mental health care, psychiatrist appointments, an hour a week of HV time, an hour a week of mental health support worker time, and those mental health prescriptions on top.

I don't know who they think they're helping when they fob people off, illnesses only get worse if you ignore them!

Happy to report DC1 had totally grown out of the CMPA by age 2.

pinguins · 16/10/2023 18:35

PS CMPA milk is NOT lactose free milk, and lactose intolerance is extremely unusual in infants, whereas CMPA is more common but needs proper GP input.

Original poster
Cubi23 · 16/10/2023 21:43

I have wondered if it could be CMPA but HV said its highly unlikely as he is feeding well (even though he is uncomfortable after!) He's putting on weight and he isn't projectile vomiting.
She was quite dismissive to be honest. I will give this new formula a few more days as he's only been on it 3 days so far and HV said I should give it atleast a week to see if it is working or not. I will be contacting the GP again though if no change!

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SausageMonkey2 · 16/10/2023 21:52

Try GP. Say outright you think it might be CMPA would they prescribe you nutrimigen for a two week trial? This is the first line of treatment for suspected CMPA. any skin issues? Mine were both CMPA (still are). One we didn’t work out till she was older and she was the saddest baby ever. Number 2 we knew what we were doing and requested at the earliest sign.

Original poster
Cubi23 · 16/10/2023 21:54

@pinguins oh so sorry you went through all that. Its so frustrating when doctors fob you off and don't investigate things properly! I can see how it can really effect your mental health. I've had a few days where I have cried with him because I feel at a loss of how to settle him. He actually hasn't been too bad today (I have probably jinxed that now) still unsettled but not as much. I think it's because he finally had a poo this afternoon after 2 days of straining! It was runny and paste like so not exactly what you would think constipation would look like, yet he struggles to go. I've got the HV visiting tomorrow so I will keep on at them until we can find out what the problem might be.
Yes I use the perfect prep. How do you make bottles for night feeds? I was told you can't make them in advance and I can't see my LO waiting for the kettle to cool down whilst waiting for his feed, especially during the middle of the night. I've always wondered how people make them up as they go x

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Original poster
Cubi23 · 16/10/2023 22:03

@SausageMonkey2 The GP seems to think its more colic or reflux and advised me to see how we go on the anti reflix formula as its thicker and if no change to contact them again. He's been on it about 3 days so far. I said to myself I'll give it 7 days and if no change I will be ringing them straight back. I've also got the HV visiting tomorrow so I'll mention possible CMPA againnto her. Both have said because he is feeding well and putting on weight its unlikely to be CMPA?
His skin seems fine, he has a few little spots but nothing major. He does go red in the face oftennand it's like he is straining. He had a poontoday after 2 days and it was green and runny, then as i was changing his nappy he went again and it was more of a yellow pasty consistency. I did read on the formula that it can cause greener and looser stools. Are there any other symptoms of CMPA i should be looking out for?

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Original poster
Cubi23 · 16/10/2023 22:05

@TinyTeacher he isn't too fussed on a dummy. Sometimes he will take it but often he spits it out after a while.

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Original poster
Cubi23 · 16/10/2023 22:07

@Goudanuff yeah im definitely not going to be fobbed off as I know something isn't right. They have blamed colic, but surely even colic is caused by something 🤔

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ShellySarah · 16/10/2023 22:13

I thought you weren't meant to give formula fed babies aged under 6 months water to drink unless it's very hot weather.

MigGirl · 16/10/2023 22:14

Babies with runny poo aren't constipated. Constipation is hard pools, sounds more like he's having stomach pain when food goes through his gut. I would also suggest CMPA, lactose intolerance is extremely rare and is normally picked up in a few days as it's stops babies gaining weight.

Original poster
Cubi23 · 16/10/2023 22:15

@Thelazygardener I'm using the prep machine, I hadn't thought that this could he contributing to him being unsettled. I used it on my first child and had no issues.
How do you prepare your bottles? I've been told you can't make them in advance but I'm confused how making them up as you go and waiting for kettle to cool each time would work when LO is demanding a feed in the middle of the night.
What lactose free milk did you use? I'm glad it helped your LO.

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FTMbg · 16/10/2023 22:21

Our little one had cmpa and didn't stop feeding, went from 50th to 90s centiles, cried whenever not eating and didn't sleep much. Hope you get to the bottom of what's going on for yours.

Original poster
Cubi23 · 16/10/2023 22:23

@ShellySarah he hadn't done a poo and was straining so HV advised me to give him a little bit of cool boiled water in-between a feed as its supposed to help with possible constipation

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Original poster
Cubi23 · 16/10/2023 22:29

@MigGirl yeah I don't think it's constipation either as his stools are not hard, it's just he strains a lot and has gone from going everyday to recently every other or every 2 days. He went today and it was greeny/yellow and loose. He has been ever so slightly more settled since going this afternoon

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Rachaelrachael · 16/10/2023 22:34

Both my babies had terrible reflux and I found the pre-made formula that you pour straight out helped in the early days. Apparently its easier for them to digest and contains no bubbles from the prep machine. One they got a bit older we switched to kendamil (having tried anti reflux formula) and feeds were much easier. Less gas, screaming and they drank more.

MigGirl · 16/10/2023 22:42

You can make bottles in advance, the safest way to do this is make bottle with water that is no less then 70C. Boil kettle allow to cool for no more then 10 minutes. Then once the bottle is made rapidly cool under running cold water.

You can then store them in the fridge for 12 hours (maybe upto 24 bit can't exactly remember). Then warm up when needed. The most important part is formula must be first made with hot water to kill any bugs in the formula.

I would ditch the prefect prep machines as they have been shown not to heat up the water hot enough too kill any potential bacteria.

Original poster
Cubi23 · 16/10/2023 22:42

@FTMbg he was 7lb. 3 born and now weighs 9lb.6 so is putting on weight. He always seems hungry too and Im not sure if it's genuine hunger or not as if I feed him after say after 1.5 hours (because he is crying and shows hunger cues) he may only take 1oz. He will take more though if he feeds every 2.5 to 3 hours. It's sometimes hard to stretch him to 3 hours though as he cries so much

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momtoboys · 16/10/2023 22:47

I'm so sorry that you are going through this. Its so hard. Some babies are just criers. My first was for the first 4 months. Nothing we did soothed him (except for him sucking on my chin, which I found odd! LOL). It got to the point where the only time he wasn't crying was when he was actively eating. I also had one with acid reflux but his involved projectile vomiting - and a switch of formula and the introduction of a prescription heartburn med calmed it. This does pass. I know it feels like it won't, but I promise you it does.

Original poster
Cubi23 · 16/10/2023 22:50

@MigGirl I'll give this a go and see if it makes a difference. There's so much guidance these days i never know what to do for the best!

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Original poster
Cubi23 · 16/10/2023 22:53

@Rachaelrachael is kendamil much different to other formulas? There's so many it's hard to choose one, I guess it's trial and error.

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MigGirl · 16/10/2023 22:54

Good luck, I know it's hard when they cry all the time DD was terrible. But it did get better, some babies just turn out to be more needy then others. So try not to worry that your do something wrong.